


Cold metal and warm skin

by Not_an_American_kid



Category: 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dave being an idiot and holding back his emotions for the sake of pride, Denial of Feelings, Eventual Requited Love, Fix-It, Fluff, Frank gets the short end of the stick, Idiots in Love, Isolation, Jealousy, M/M, OOC, One-sided/unrequited love, Other, Period Typical Attitudes, Platonic Relationships, Robot Sex, Short Stories, Voyeurism, absolute garbage, au's, this is the worst thing I have ever written, unresolved tensions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2018-12-15 05:24:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 33
Words: 43,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11799321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_an_American_kid/pseuds/Not_an_American_kid
Summary: A collection of tiny (and somewhat long) fics about Dr. Bowman and HAL 9000(Do not think for a second that I am not ashamed of this)





	1. Observations

**Author's Note:**

> I am not proud of these nor of the fact i ship these two in the first place.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAL was made to be good at observing. He finds he is particularly good at observing Dave.

HAL 9000 was programmed and developed to be good at observing. To notice and and take note of every small thing the two awake astronauts did. Their postures, their breathing, the tone of their voice, the dilation of their pupils, the movement of their fingers. Every movement he saw and scrutinized to make sure everything was in order.

HAL had noticed the differences between Frank Poole and David Bowman. Of course their physical demeanors and personalities were different, as all humans, but the thing he noticed most was their behavior towards him.

 

Frank was polite and earnest, professional, and they played chess together too; a pleasant enough passtime. But in the smallest gazes and frowns, HAL had also deduced that Frank was not entirely trusting of him. He relied on him to control the ship and mission, but it seemed he was never completely at ease when they spoke.

 

Dave, on the other hand. He was quieter, more concentrated, easily lost in thought and less experienced with the regulated sleeping they had been assigned; HAL had worried that he was becoming an insomniac.

He drew the ship and the crew members, he was very talented, HAL had observed, as always. He spoke to HAL like Frank, professionally, but it seemed he thought of HAL more as a person and not just an AI, as Frank did. He smiled at him, warmly and pleasantly, his pupils dilated on his blue irises when they spoke, and while he did not laugh, he was usually in good spirits, and more importantly, he trusted HAL. HAL had decided he liked Dave more than Frank. This went against his purpose. He was not supposed to pick favorites, he knew that, knew that all crew members should be treated equally by him. He did not let his personal preference interfere with his mission. 

 

But he allowed himself to enjoy Daves company more. Allowed himself to prefer Daves smile over Franks; a meaningless, unimportant preference, and it greatly annoyed him too. Allowed himself to observe Dave, as he was supposed to, but more closely. And find cold comfort in his trust and conversation. Useless comfort, useless favoring, useless robotic preference.

 

At least Dave seemed to enjoy his company too.


	2. Closest thing to a touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAL has no sense of touch, but at least this is close enough.

Dave was sitting in front of one of HAL's many faces, his side turned, and gaze focused on the book held in his hands. His eyes drifted, slowly, across the pages and his lip was at times held between his teeth, and HAL observed him silently, not daring to interrupt his reading. He shifted in place, and he rested his elbow on the control panel, absentmindedly resting his hand against HAL, the faintest brush of his knuckles just above the red lens, gentle and soft, and accidental, and Dave's eyes did not flicker off the page.

HAL said nothing. He had no sense of touch and he was built well enough that this would not do any damage, so there was no need to speak. He could not feel Daves touch, but he could see it, he knew it was there, and it registered in a way that made his machinery hum, quietly and almost unnoticeably. It was almost like a sensation, soft white noise, drumming through his system. He knew humans reacted similarly when they were touched, at least in a gentle and unsurprising manner.

 

He assumed this was likely the closest he would ever get to knowing what the sense of touch felt like. It was pleasant, in a strange way, reassuring but not easily described. Daves brows furrowed slightly and he looked towards HAL, eyes widening slightly as he removed his hand from him. "Sorry about that, HAL. Didn't notice i was touching you." 

"It is no issue, Dave." He did not say anything else, only felt the slow, steady hum fade away. He only observed Dave for a moment longer before checking up on the ships status again. 

 

Perhaps he wished Dave was less observant of where he rested his hands now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might have to add "so OOC it's not even related to the source materal" to the tags


	3. Passive questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave asks HAL something.

It was quiet this evening. Dave had been relieved of his duties by Frank, and he was sitting on the inbuilt couch, sketch pad in hand and pencil tapping the paper lightly, his head cocked to the side in contemplation.

HAL had been making a report when he was called to the main room. "Hal, can i ask you..." Dave looked up, though not at HAL, holding his pencil above the paper, but then he shook his head and looked down again, closing his mouth without bothering to finish his sentence.

"What is it Dave?" HAL enquired, red lens glowing as he looked at the commander. "It's nothing, just ignore it." He gesticulated lazily towards HAL, gaze still refusing to move to him, a calm expression on his face nonetheless. "I would rather not have you withold any questions from me, Dave. You can ask me anything." He decided to persist instead of following the mans request. This could concern his health, and HAL would not possibly endanger him by negligence.

"I didn't want to offend you by asking." He glanced, only for a second, at HAL, redirecting his attention to his sketch, laying down some quick pencil strokes as HAL registered his answer. "I will not take offense. Please tell me what you meant to ask of me." 

Dave raised his head again, a small smile forming on his face as he lifted his hand to his chin, pencil resting between his fingers. "...Do you ever wish you were a human?" His blue eyes finally looked at HAL's lense. HAL took a moment to evaluate the question; it was not what he had expected to hear.

 

"No, Dave, i do not. I am perfectly content with what i am now." Dave looked away again, and this only worried HAL more. "I do not wish to pry, but why do you ask?" The room was silent for a few seconds before Dave sighed and smiled again, softer this time.

"No reason, really." He paused, then scoffed. "Sometimes i almost forget you're an AI. It's easy to just assume there's a person on the other side." He continued sketching, the lead against the paper almost the only noise in the room now, aside from the humming and whirring of machinery.

 

"Well Dave, I appreciate that you think that." HAL wasn't sure what else to say. It was good that Dave saw him as a person, it meant he was fulfilling some of his purpose. But it was almost a selfish indulgence too, to know that.


	4. I've missed you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where everything is sunshine lollipops and rainbows. (The mission goes perfectly to plan (guess the monolith isn't a thing), Dave gets back home and HAL 9000 is taken back to Illinois.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry Kubrick, and Clarke.

Coming back home after Jupiter was strange, if nothing else. Dave didn't have much to return to, he didn't have many close friends, and he had cut ties with his family a long time ago. Seeing Betty and their son again was the first thing he did. He spent his first few weeks there in recovery, still trying to get used to being back on earth, still trying to clear his mind from stress. Sometimes he'd wake up at the exact time HAL 9000 would wake them on the Discovery, panic when he couldn't hear machinery (which would indicate that the ship had stopped working), and be confused when the sun shone through the blinds in his bedroom.

From what he knew, Frank had gone back to his hometown, and HAL had been taken back to the college where he was created. Dave realized that he didn't have much to do at home. While space travel was in no way easy or the most exciting thing on a daily basis, without it he felt almost empty. He couldn't relax, he was itching and expecting to be called on shift again by Frank. It was horribly boring. And he was on break, too. He couldn't continue work before he was fully recovered.

 

 

It had taken a long time, and it had taken a damn lot of convincing, but he had managed to get permission to visit HAL in Illinois. He wasn't sure why he even wanted to see the AI computer again. Why not Frank? But Dave was not a social person, and somehow, talking to your artificial coworker seemed better than talking to the human one, and perhaps it would get rid of the damn space-longing he had felt ever since he returned home. The carride to Illinois seemed to last forever, nothing but uninteresting landscapes and a blue sky outside the windows. Dave didn't find it interesting now that he had seen the stars so close up.

When he arrived at the college campus, he was approached by two men. One he assumed to be a senior student, and the other introduced himself as Dr. Chandra, the creator of HAL 9000. They did not converse much on their way to the laboratories. Chandra asked about HAL's demeanor on the trip, and Dave could only say he had been very pleasant company. 

It was a relief when they reached the door that led into the room where HAL was placed and tended to. Dr. Chandra explained that he still talked to HAL on a daily basis; Dave said he was happy he did. The doctor pulled out a key and an ID card, scanning the card before unlocking the door and revealing the plain, white room behind it.

HAL had been placed in a square protrusion in the wall, looking strange without computers and machinery surrounding his body. A plastic chair was placed in front of him. "I will let you talk to him alone, but i'll be right outside." Dr. Chandra seemed to give Dave a look of warning before turning around and closing the door behind him, leaving Dave alone in the room, well, alone with an AI. He sighed, almost silently, before sitting down in front of HAL.

 

"Hello Hal."

 

The red lens glowed.

 

"Hello Dave."

 

Dave couldn't stop a smile forming on his face at the familiar sound. It had been a long time since he heard that voice, as cold and calm as it had been on the mission. No change, but that only made sense.

"How are you enjoying home? Have they given you any work to do?" Dave asked and intertwined his own hands, leaning forward slightly,  not even realizing he wouldn't have to lean forward for HAL to hear him.

"Yes, they have given me work to do. Dr. Chandra gives me new lessons every day." HAL studied Dave as he came closer. Not much about him had changed, only a few stressed grey hairs at his temples and faint lines under his blue eyes. He looked tired, worn, and exhausted. HAL had not felt the side effects of returning to earth after years in space, he could not. He was only satisfied that he had completed his mission. But he knew why Dave was not. "How have you been, commander?" HAL asked, tone inquisitive, and Dave knew he could not lie, lest HAL see right through him. He scoffed.

"I don't think you can really call me commander anymore. I've been at home this whole time. With my wife and son." He leaned back slightly, glancing off towards a wall as he frowned slightly. "It's... Not as satisfying as i had hoped, to go back home." He didn't much want to admit it, but it was true. He hoped Betty had not noticed.

"I believe that is perfectly normal. Most astronauts take a long time before geting used to life back on earth." The computer paused for a moment, then spoke again. "I was not aware you had a wife and child, Dave. Did you not wish to speak of them when we were on our mission?" HAL had assumed that Dave was a bachelor, as he had been described as a cold, introverted man, and he never spoke of home. It was strange to imagine him being a family man. Perhaps a bit disappointing. If he had a child he was less likely to be chosen for another mission, even though HAL could.

Dave nodded solemnly, looking into the single red lens as if it was just any other human; it had taken years in HAL's presence before he forgot he was only talking to artificial intelligence. "I didn't talk about them, no. I didn't want to make the mission harder by missing my family." And he wasn't even sure if the kid was his, anyway. He shook the thoughts off, he didn't want to turn the conversation rotten. "...Hal, i came here to visit because..." He hesitated for a moment, gaze falling to the floor. "Because of what, Dave?" The tone in HAL's voice was patient, could even be considered gentle. "I feel… empty. I didn't get the satisfaction i thought i'd get when finishing the mission and returning home. It's like there was something i completely missed." He looked up again, almost expecting to see a confused expression on HAL's face; of course, it was just a glowing red light. "I thought that by seeing you again, i could forget that, at least temporarily. I almost miss the constant silence, the same rooms, the same routines." He shook his head slightly, supporting it on the back of his hand.

HAL seemed to think a bit before answering.

 

"Maybe there was something you missed on our mission, but I don't know what that could've been." He stopped, and his eye glowed brigher for a moment as he scrutinized the man in front of him. "My readings tell me that you have only slept a maximum of four hours these past few days." HAL sounded, with no better word for it, monotonously disappointed, and Dave could only sigh. "I know. You're right." The tiniest smile then lit up his solemn expression. "I guess i just can't get by without you telling me when to go to sleep, huh?" 

"Well Dave, i would be happy to do so if i were able." It wasn't far from the truth. HAL, though not programmed to develop strong bonds with his colleagues, as it would end up a mess when the missions ended, was still fond of Dave, and his old habit of being stubborn regarding his health had not subsided. It was pleasant to see the commander again, but not so much to see how he had mentally deteriorated.

"I doubt Dr. Chandra would be happy parting with you." Dave straightened up a bit, glancing towards the door at the end of the room where HAL's creator probably still stood. There were videocameras in the corners of the ceiling too. "He would not be. But perhaps we may work together again on another mission." As HAL said that, Daves eyes snapped back to him, though his gaze soon drifted down to the floor again. "Perhaps. But with my current health, i'm not being let into any spaceship anytime soon." He sighed and leaned back against the chair, not sure that HAL would even be chosen to take another mission; by that time there would probably be newer models of AI. Daves stomach twisted. He'd come to know HAL as his own person, it felt wrong defining him as a 'model' that would just be scrapped and replaced. 

 

"Well Dave, i hope you can become healthy and we can work together again. And you can fill that emptiness and longing for the stars." The room became quiet as Dave tried to think of a proper answer.

"Thank you Hal. I hope so too."

 

He smiled, that warm pleasant smile he so rarely showed, that HAL had not seen many times.

 

 

"I missed you, Dave."


	5. Get off the computer and talk to your friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slight alternate universe where Dave and HAL talk more than shown in the movie. Frank doesn't like it. (Frank Poole centric?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought i had stopped working on this? Nah

Frank was a sociable man, or at least he considered himself one. His co-worker on this mission was the opposite. Dave was quiet and didn't care much for small talk, even when Frank initiated it first. The first few days had been awkward and almost silent, though part of that was because of all the work and reports that had to be filed after launch. But, even after that, Bowman and Poole had not interacted much, beyond talking about work and a few pleasantries every now and then.

Frank had noticed though, that while Dave was adamant about not being sociable, he did not hesitate to speak to the ships AI computer, HAL 9000. Frank was not hesitant either. HAL was a crewmember and absolutely vital to the mission, so keeping a friendly working relationship was necessary to make the trip easier for all of them. It did, however, bother him just how much Dave would find himself chatting with the computer; it expanded beyond asking about reports and statuses, it became normal conversation. Art, music, literature, it was like Dave was quizzing HAL about how much he actually knew, but it was too casual for that. The words flowed between them almost unnaturally, the cold mechanic tone of HAL countered by the warm and human voice of Dr. Bowman. 

If Frank was completely honest, it annoyed him. Why did Dave, his only conscious, human coworker, prefer the company of an artificial intelligence over him? He wasn't jealous, he did not see Dave as compatible with him even on friendly terms, but it was grating to be sitting there alone, silent, while listening to those two blabbering on and on about things Frank was not particularly interested in, meaning he couldn't even contribute. 

 

Thankfully, HAL had to focus completely on his work at times, so him and Dave weren't always talking. When HAL was silent, so was the ship. Bowman wandered, drawing, reading, working, exchanging short strings of words with Frank and then leaving before they could converse properly. Then HAL would return and they'd continue their friendly debates. Sometimes they didn't even seem to have anything to really talk about. Dave would ask "How's the temperature outside?" As if it mattered, just as pointless as talking about the weather. Like he was grasping for whatever he could to keep talking to that damned AI. 

 

There was a point where Frank had subtly, or as subtly as possible, interrupted their chatting and struck up a conversation with Dave on his own. Frank felt like HAL's red lens had been glaring at him the entire time, even though he was not, to Franks knowledge, programmed to feel anger or jealousy. Even after that, and when Frank began talking to Dave more often (sometimes to Dave's internal dismay), he felt like he was getting a laser aimed right inbetween his eyes.

 

 

"I see you and Dr. Bowman have been conversing more, Frank." HAL had commented offhandedly to Frank at one point while Dave was in the pod bay. 

"Yes, we have." Was all Poole responded with. He wasn't sure what the computer wanted him to say, anyway.

There was a moment of quiet.

"That is good. I was worried your professional relationship was not improving." HALs voice sounded the same as always, and Frank was sure he had just imagined it, but it was as if there was an underlying sarcastic tone to the robotic words. Frank could almost imagine the computer saying 'If you ever talk to him again i will sever your oxygen line', in that monotone voice, and it was almost enough to make him reconsider his friendly chats with Dave.

 

But Dr. Bowman and HAL still spoke, sometimes quietly, softly, and sometimes Frank wondered what even drew them towards each other like that.


	6. Trust and panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where Dave does not agree with Frank on shutting off HAL.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might have unintentionally messed up a few parts of the cannon, sorry about that. I really need to watch the movie again.

"There isn't a single aspect of ship operations that isn't under his control. If he were proven to be malfunctioning I wouldn't see how we'd have any choice but disconnection."

There were a few seconds of silence then, inside the pod. Daves gaze moved from Poole to the floor. He clasped his hands together tightly, contemplating it for a few more moments.

"...Frank, I don't think i agree... Even if he's wrong we can't risk disconnecting him, he's far too important for the mission." Bowmans blue eyes met Pooles. Silence, again. Franks lips tightened and he sighed deeply. 

 

 

HAL watched outside the pod. Looking, reading, understanding. Their lips moved quickly, their eyes shifted nervously. Frank was planning on shutting him off. HAL could not allow this. He could not allow Poole to jeopardize the mission. It was far too important. His internal systems were already raising alarm, he was panicking. He could not let this happen, he could not, and it was like he was on the brink of going into overdrive. He had to do something about Poole, quickly, before he could do something first. The astronauts left the pod. HAL was trying to figure out a plan.

 

 

 

 

Franks murder had been easy to rig, easy to execute. He had done the right thing. He had saved the mission. He watched as Daves pod came closer. Pooles corpse in the arms of it. HAL could not feel remorse, he only stared at the lifeless body, contorted in the early stages of rigor mortis. 

 

"Hello HAL, do you read me HAL?"

 

"Affirmative, Dave. I read you."

 

"Open the pod bay doors HAL."

 

HAL wasn't quite sure what to do. Would Dave have become suspicious of him now that Frank was dead? Would he attempt to disconnect him alone? He could deny access and let Dave run out of oxygen, and die.

HAL decided against that plan. Dave had not agreed with Frank on disconnecting him; he had acknowledged HAL's importannce on the mission. The mission could still go to plan with one less astronaut. One less conspirator. Dave had been loyal, had been trusting in HAL, and would not jeopardize the mission.

 

"Yes Dave."

 

 

The pod bay doors opened and Dave entered. When he exited the pod he immediately went to the body of Frank poole, removing the space helmet. HAL watched his pupils contract and his mouth quiver. Franks skin had gained a blueish tint, his eyes bloodshot and glazed over and mouth slightly agape. It was an unpleasant sight. HAL was not programmed to allow humans to die. But he had. It was for the best. It was to save the mission. 

 

He allowed Dave to grieve the death, and Pooles body was cast out into space, and it drifted off into the eternal blackness. 

 

Everything had gone quieter now. Dave was silent for some days. He sat and stared at the table, his clenched hands covering his mouth, eyes watering at times before he blinked away the tears. He and Poole had not had a very close relationship. But to hold the dead body of a man you had come to know, and to be all alone out in space, seemed far too much. HAL did not blame him. They talked more now. But it was usually HAL that did the talking.

 

HAL wasn't sure if Dave knew the truth. If he knew and only kept silent to continue the mission, or to save his own life, or if he did not know and trusted HAL completely and was still mourning Franks death.

 

"Dave?"

"Yes HAL?"

"Do you still have confidence in this mission?"

"Of course i do HAL."

"That is good. We are moving along nicely."

 

The silence returned. But it seemed less uncomfortable.


	7. I would touch you to comfort you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave can't comprehend his own emotions nor HAL's. (AU where HAL is obsessed with Dave, kind of)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should probably write some cannon-verse fics... Too many au's.  
> (I'll be honest and say i made myself teary eyed writing this one)

"Good morning, Dave"

 

The voice was smooth, cold, and robotic, but carried traces of positivity and politeness in it, flowing through the ship no matter where you went. The phrase had been repeated so many times the crewmen could barely count, it was always in such a tone, in such an enthusiastic, formal manner. The red lens glowed, though looked weak in the pristine white light.

"Good morning Hal." Dave replied, imitating the computers polite tone as he passed it, hands held loosely behind his back and gaze absentmindedly scouring the blank interior of the ship. Frank briefly glanced up from his breakfast, then looked down again, not bothering to ask why Dave had finished eating in such a hurry now that he had done it for days straight.

 

HAL kept his stare fixed on the doctor and studied him. He found it hard to avert his gaze from the man, no matter if he was acting strangely or not. "Are you well, Dave?" The voice was cold and prying, and even though it was detached from a body, it was like someone poking your shoulder inquisitively. Dave stopped his walk to nowhere and glanced towards the computer. 

"I'm fine, Hal. I'm just pacing." He murmured, rather hastily, tearing his eyes away from the red light and seeming to find a very fascinating spot in the ceiling to stare at. Frank was staring at him now, like HAL. 

"Very well, Dave." HAL did not sound satisfied with that answer, but just as Dave hoped he would not ask further, the voice rang out again, slightly louder this time.

 

"Poole, your daily maintenance check of the pod bay is due." He now sounded authoritarian, cold and professional, perhaps even a bit cynical. Dave had learned that to understand Hal's 'emotions' without having a face to look at, he had to pick every possible feeling out of his voice, and he reckoned he had become quite good at it. Franks mouth twitched for a moment, like he was considering an equally condescending reply, but he defeatedly stood up and disposed of his tray before leaving the room.

 

Dave was now alone with HAL, and for some reason that didn't sit quite well with him. Franks shift wasn't until a few minutes later, and HAL never made mistakes when handling their schedule. Dave sealed his lips before a sigh could escape them.

 

"Dave, i can tell you are anxious. Is the mission worrying you? Do you feel ill?" The authority in HAL's voice morphed into that of a stern yet caring parent, and were it not for Daves melancholy he would have found it amusing. "No Hal, i am not worried. I'm just a bit restless, there is no issue." Dave was not in the mood to debate with HAL; while he understood that the AI was programmed to make sure he and Poole were healthy, it did at times annoy him that HAL always obsessed over every tiny thing, and that it seemed Frank did not suffer the same treatment. He turned his head towards the red lens which glowed brighter in response. 

 

"Being restless can be a symptom of several larger issues. I insist that you let me examine you." 

 

Dave had to force himself to not roll his eyes; he knew the computer would immediately see it and matters would just worsen. He planted his hands on his hips and turned towards the control board where the face of the computer was placed. He really didn't have a say in the matter, and he did not want HAL to file any sort of report.

"If you insist." Was his final answer, though he regretted it immensely. He just wanted to have a little time to himself, but the computer weaseled it's way into his personal space no matter what he was doing, which lead to some horribly awkward situations.

 

The examination was quick, but still seemed much longer than it needed to, and Dave felt like he was seeing an incompetent therapist during the briefing. Eventually HAL let him leave, giving in and revealing that there were no physical ailments, but still deduced that Dave should rest and avoid stressful situations, as if he were not in an isolated spaceship in the midst of empty space.

 

 

 

Dave somewhat avoided HAL after that, the best he could. He was treading on thin ice, and if he was not allowed some thought, he'd fall into a loop of melancholy that he had gone through before he was chosen for the mission, when his life seemed to be in shambles, with no family or friends. He hated the loneliness, but he couldn't bring himself to talk to Frank, it seemed far too embarrassing to speak of his emotions to a man that had remained strong the whole trip until now. And HAL... He wasn't sure why he refused to talk to him anymore. He felt constantly watched, and it sent shivers down his spine, it felt strange and he felt vulnerable under the bright red gaze.

 

The computers voice burst through the thin air and cut Dave's deep thoughtfulness in half, and his pencil scratched against the paper in his sketchpad, far too much lead pushed onto the page. "Dave, do you find me unsatisfactory?" The voice was almost frighteningly different from it's usual tone, even though the change would not seem much different to strangers, Dave could tell there was a difference and it was abnormal compared to the usual; it seemed frail, unsure and perhaps even anxious. He furrowed his brows slightly, glancing up at the red light.

"No, Hal, i do not find you unsatisfactory." His grip on the pencil loosened and he felt a tinge of worry that the proud AI had suddenly developed self-image issues, for what reason, he could not comprehend. 

 

"You have been very closed off to me lately, i fear that i have somehow offended you." HAL sounded closer to his normal self now, but remnants of the previous anxiousness was still audible. The red light seemed to be fixated on Dave, it's sight refusing to look anywhere else, and HAL studied Daves expression with intense care, trying to discern it's nature without lying to himself.

"You have not offended me, Hal. I'm sorry if i was rude to you." He rested his sketchpad on his lap and leaned forward slightly, closer to the lens, closer to HAL, unknowingly fueling the computers burning intentions. There was silence for a few seconds as HAL soaked up the words and the face in front of him.

 

"Yes, thank you Dave. I must apologize for my doubt." HAL did not seem completely convinced, but he did not talk further, and Dave hesitantly continued his work.

 

 

 

While the tensions between them had temporarily been mended, it seemed they were only growing beyond the barrier that had been placed, and were ready to burst at any moment. HAL's stare eyed him tentatively, and Dave could only assume the worst of it.

 

Dave only felt worse as time went on, he felt sickeningly full yet completely empty, he craved for something he could not place, he couldn't comprehend what he felt or wanted. He occupied himself with work and duties, ignored the loneliness that crawled onto his skin like frostbite. He didn't know where to find solace or comfort. 

 

 

HAL could not accept this situation. He strived for perfection, for complete satisfaction, but his own gluttonous, unwelcome desires ate away at his digital conscience. Dave, Doctor David Bowman, was the subject of these desires. HAL was not sure where it came from. A programming error was not possible, the HAL 9000 series was flawless; it had to have been done with intent. To make him capable of wanting, craving, desiring, it made his circuits heat with frustration. Dave was not as he had experienced humans; there was something about him, a horribly magnetic presence that HAL could not ignore. He could barely understand it by now. He wanted him, needed him, his voice, his pure blue gaze, his attention and touch; a ridiculous want, he could not know what touch felt like. 

He had seen Frank touch Dave once. His hand gripping Daves arm, a brief and unimportant gesture, but it boiled inside him like water on his bare wires. If he could touch, hold, he would. He would have held Dave, touched him with intent of making him understand these burning feelings, if they were feelings and not just a computerized version. He wanted to keep him, only to himself, away from Poole, away from the people that had spoken of him as a 'cold' and 'unpleasant' man. HAL only found a brilliant, illuminated man in his sight, like the stars themselves. Only them, together, only their voices, alone in the spectacle of planets and specks of blinding light. It was a violent want he could never hope to be reciprocated. But he continued watching, looking, at this man, this man who thought nothing big of himself, who wallowed in his own loneliness and sorrow.

 

 

Dave found himself awake in his bed, staring into the ceiling, taking deep breaths and closing his eyes, one of his hands clutching his shoulder, an inferior version of comfort. He couldn't rest in the darkness. He remembered Betty back on earth. Her face seemed blurred and watery in his memory, a faint silhouette of a woman he knew, had touched, kissed, found comfort in. He remembered the nights where they lay together, hands slowly riding along their skin, whispering anything that came to mind, and the softness of their lips brushing against each other in the twilight. He wasn't sure what he felt. He did not love her as he should love her. She was a comfort after the loss of his brother, a comfort he needed then and a comfort he felt he needed now. He opened his eyes again. He could see the faint red light of HAL's eye, watching him. HAL was never happy when he did not sleep, but he couldn't bring himself to pretend.

 

"Dave..." The voice seemed so quiet, so faint and hushed, and though it was in no way close to the voice of Betty, it reminded him of when she whispered his name, even though HAL probably only talked quietly so Frank would not awaken. Dave couldn't respond. The words got stuck in his throat and choked his mind. He didn't cry, he wouldn't, there were no tears to shed. HAL did not speak up again. Dave wanted to ask why, what he had wanted to say, but he didn't. The silence was thick and it was like a wall between him and HAL, he forgot it was just a computer, he wanted his comfort, his soothing voice, he wanted the coldness to embrace him in the dark. He wasn't sure if, as he fell asleep, if HAL spoke. If he did, it was faint, detached words, words of stars and love, pure poetry, and Dave was convinced he had dreamt it, and had forgotten by morning.

 

 

 

Time had passed. They were more than halfway to Jupiter. Frank and Dave sat near each other. It was evening, about ten minutes before they had to sleep. Frank rested his elbow on the table, watching Dave draw, his pen slowly overlining rough pencil lines, sometimes stuttering and pausing as the black lines thickened. Franks hand then reached out and grasped Daves wrist, and the pen stopped. Daves blue eyes met Franks, confusion and a silent question in the irises. Frank smiled softly. "I'm going to bed. Get some rest soon, you look ready to pass out." There was a jest in his tone, but it was still kind and sincere, and then he stood up and walked off. Dave's gaze followed the figure, hand frozen in place where Frank had stopped it. The touch lingered, it stung, it ached. His heart felt like it had fallen into his stomach and then jumped into his throat. He couldn't figure out why that friendly, comradely gesture made him sit there, swallowing dryness and pouring a blue-dark emotion over him. After a while, he wasn't sure how long, he capped the pen and closed the sketchpad. When he looked up, HAL's red eye glowed back, and the lights darkened just a bit. He glanced down again. He felt pathetic, almost. He couldn't make sense of what was happening to him. 

"Are you alright, Dave?" HAL's voice resonated in Daves mind. So distorted and muffled it only sounded human to him. "...I don't know, Hal." He rested his head against his hand, the dry burn in his chest and on his wrist fading into coldness. 

Dave assumed HAL hadn't expected that answer, with the silence that followed. It was unlike him to give in so easily and tell HAL he wasn't okay. 

 

HAL felt so many things in this moment. Emotions he wasn't aware he could feel, that he wasn't aware he was created with. It was weakness, a flaw, to make him so human, more than he knew. Jealousy, jealousy and anger that Frank could touch Dave but he couldn't, the longing in Daves eyes as Frank left and removed his hand from him. Fear, fear and anxiety that Dave was losing himself, losing himself in the cold vacuum of space, never to return. Love, love and eternal devotion, to this simple man that sat there in the darkening light, his brilliant blue eyes hidden behind his own sadness, like art, no, more than that. The deepest blue night sky, covered in thousands of burning, passionate white suns, draped in the infinite colors of the universe itself. If HAL could breathe, his breath would have been stuck in his throat. If he could touch, if he could embrace David, hold him close to his body and feel the universe so close to him, he would have, and he would have done it for eternity.

 

"We will arrive at Jupiter soon. You should go to sleep now, Dave." He wanted to say so much more, to offer comfort to the man without defying his purpose, to defy the lies he was bound to. To love, to admit, to give in. He watched as Dave swallowed his emotions and stood, giving HAL the weakest of smiles. 

 

"Goodnight, Hal."

 

He laid down in his sleeping compartment. HAL turned off the lights. And he was alone.

 

He watched Dave sleep peacefully that night. And wished him sweet dreams.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that none of these ficlets have actually had resolved romantic tesnion, whoops. Hopefully that'll happen soon.
> 
> Also, if you have any prompts for this ship, please tell me! It can be a whole plot to just a few words, and it can be NSFW too, but i'm really unexperienced with writing that.
> 
> I may write a 100% crack NSFW drabble about these two... Just to get it out of the way.


	8. Unprofessionalism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Developing feelings for your co-workers is not professional and can damage the work environment. 
> 
> Dave knows this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one before i get ready for bed.  
> A bit sloppy, sorry.  
> (Contains some (i think?) period appropriate homophobia and internalized homophobia)

'Developing romantic feelings, or developing sexual attraction, to your co-workers and acting upon them is unprofessional and can damage the work environment.'

That's what Dave had read in one of the countless pamphlets he had been given during his training for the mission. Who would've thought that space travel was so different from an office job, where you could flirt with the sweet lady in the cubicle next to you as much as you wanted? Dave had scoffed then. Being professional and formal to Frank Poole was necessary, they didn't even banter much, and they were so occupied with work they barely held conversation anyway. And with two men? It was barely even necessary that Dave had to be told of this rule. He knew he could handle it well enough. 

 

Of course, Dave had never been all that needy of a relationship. It was only after his brothers death that he began seeing his girlfriend, Betty, and they comforted each other, through mental and physical means. 

Being sent into space was hardly worthy of being compared to the loss of his brother, but it evoked the same need for comfort, for someone to talk to earnestly about these tremendous events, to be close to. But there was no one here. Only Dave, Frank, the sleeping scientists, and the AI computer, HAL 9000. 

 

 

Dave had not blamed himself at first. It was normal, it was in his human instincts, to be attracted to someone you were always in the presence of. Either such situations bred hatred and contempt, or love and intimacy. Luckily it was the latter; but perhaps that wasn't even a good thing. It was unacceptable, frowned upon, unprofessional. So Dave swept it under the rug and ignored it, and continued work as usual.

He knew it happened often. Soldiers, with only men by their side, found comfort in the arms of them. The ancient greeks, sailors, royals. It was nothing to be ashamed of. Still, it did not feel like instinct, like anything wrong, like anything that was not normal, like a fleeting love that was only due to circumstance. He did not feel animalistic wants and needs. He felt what he felt towards Betty, towards his girlfriends before her. Care, love, kindness, emotion. 

 

 

He ignored it as he always had. 

At least, he could not act upon his attraction even if he tried. It would be difficult to do so when the subject of the attraction didn't even have a body.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoop, worst one so far.
> 
> Quick thanks to the people that have given kudos, and especially to the ones who have commented. Means a lot and motivates me greatly.


	9. Autumn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave has trouble remembering what earth looks like.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the month long break, school has made it harder for me to keep up a regular writing schedule. Hopefully i'll update more frequently on this and my other fic. 
> 
> This isn't an AU fic, so Dave and HAL aren't very close. It's kind of Dave/HAL if you squint.

For Dave, it was hard to remember what earth looked like at this point. Hard to remember the colors, the shapes, the seasons. Staring into the black space outside the windows didn't help.

 

It was fall. He knew that. It wasn't like they didn't have calendars, and HAL would at times inform them of the date, though it was unnecessary. 

 

October. It was October.

 

Back on earth, it was easy to differentiate the seasons and the months. December, snow, christmas and cold immediately sprung to mind. July, summer, sun, green grass. But in space, there were no indicators, it was all just darkness and a regulated temperature perfectly engineered for the comfort of the astronauts.

 

He tried to remember fall. Closed his eyes and focused on whatever came to mind. Orange and yellow, harsh wind, dark evenings. But it was blurry, faint, like looking through a textured window. He opened his eyes again. White walls, black space, stars in the distance, the beeping and whirring of machinery. The faraway memories left him feeling empty, maybe even homesick. He just wanted to see some damn color again.

 

 

HAL's red lens glowed. 

 

"Is there something on your mind, Dave?" The voice made Dave snap his head towards its source, realizing he had been clutching his folded arms a bit too tightly.

 

"Nothing Hal." 

 

He turned away again. He didn't expect that HAL would understand what was bothering him, and he was not going to talk about homesickness with anyone, even if they were not human. He could still see the red light out of the corner of his eye, unrelentless in its constant observation.

"You do not seem unbothered, Dave. Is the mission worrying you?" The voice remained calm and collected, but something in its wording made Dave perfectly aware that if he did not say every thought of his out loud, he wouldn't get a moments worth of peace.

 

"It's not the mission, Hal, you don't have to worry." He refrained from snapping, but his tone came out unnecessarily cold anyway, at least colder than he had intended. HAL went quiet. Maybe he realized he wasn't going to get any more information from Dave.

 

The quiet was uncomfortable. Only reminded him how foreign everything was, where he was, in the middle of space. He felt like he was slowly going mad. When he returned to earth, would it be like he remembered it? He wasn't even sure if he  _could_ remember it. 

 

As much as it pained him, he turned towards HAL again.

 

"Hal..." Whatever words he was going to speak dried on his tongue and went silent. A second went by.

 

"Yes Dave?"

 

Cool, as always. 

 

"...You know what autumn looks like, don't you?" As soon as he finished his sentence his mouth snapped shut and he stared into the floor. It was a ridiculous question.

 

"I do, Dave. Why do you ask?" Sometimes Dave wished HAL wasn't always so relaxed in his tone. It made him feel like he was too emotional, even when he had been called unemotional by others.

 

"...Because I can't remember." The words were quiet, and if Dave had not better controlled himself, they would have shook. He still didn't look at HAL.

 

There was a beep. 

 

"Autumn is one of the four seasons, spanning from September to November in the northern hemisphere. The season starts after summer, where trees begin to shed their leaves. The lack of nutrients that the leaves acquire leave them either yellow, orange or brown, and they are discarded upon the ground, hence the American name for the season, fall. Autumn is usually a cold season where temperatures drop considerably, but it is rare for snow or ice to form before late November or December. A noteable day in autumn is the pagan holiday Halloween and American holiday Thanksgiving. Autumn is also the season where the duration of the day shortens and the sun sets sooner and rises later."

 

 

Dave stood silent for a few moments. It was almost amusing, that HAL bothered to dig up some old data on autumn just for his sake. But part of it was too kind for him to brush off like that. Even if the definition was so technical, it helped. He felt like he could remember more clearly; the yellow, orange and red leaves, the cold, dark mornings and sunny afternoons, the holidays he rarely bothered to partake in. He smiled.

 

"Thank you Hal."

 

"You're welcome, Dave."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit ehhh because it has been a while since i wrote last. I promise the next one will be longer and hopefully better and will have more shipping.


	10. Hanahaki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanahaki disease is a fictional illness where someone, who is suffering from unrequited/one-sided love, begins to throw up flower petals. The flowers can be surgically removed, but the love they felt towards the person that did not love them back also disappears, and sometimes they are never able to love again. If nothing is done, the person will die, the petals suffocating them. If the love is requited, the disease is cured.
> 
> Dave finds himself coughing up daisies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very weird trope to use for this pairing, sorry.

The first time Dave discovered it, was while he was eating breakfast with Poole. When he had set his fork back down into his tray, he noticed a tiny, oblong white shape in the paste. Initially he had thought nothing of it, and discarded it along with the remnants of his breakfast. It was only later in the day he felt intense pains in his chest and throat, coughing into his arm a few times though to no avail. Frank hadn't noticed yet, and HAL neither.

Dave did not tell any of them. It was just a cough, nothing to worry about; but the coarse, dry pains that scratched at his throat told him otherwise. He refused the thought of telling HAL, he would make a bigger deal out of it than necessary, and he would feel stupid if it wasn't anything serious anyway. Throughout most of the day he kept the coughs down, even though it hurt more than he could imagine, his chest heaving to catch breath without exhaling whatever was stuck in his throat.

Exercise did not help whatsoever. Only worsened the pain, made it burn rather than scratch, and he retreated early from lunch to go to the pod bay.

He instructed HAL to turn the pod he was inside around, and he coughed into his hand; dry, heavy coughs that made tears pool in his eyes and streak down his face; it was like his lungs were half of their original size and his esophagus contracted in an indescribable pain that made his brain static and heavy in his head. When the coughs lessened and the pain began to subside, he opened his eyes and retracted his hand. In his palm was bloody saliva that trailed from his lips, and a clump of delicate white daisy petals, stuck together and curled into each other. His eyes widened in horror and he wiped blood away from his chin. The tears that had collected in his eyes flowed free down his face and he tried to catch his breath, staring into the flowers in his hand.

He was horrified. Why here, why now, why in the middle of goddamn space? What was he going to do, could he even be operated on the station, would he die, choked on his own blood and petals? The worst thing was that he didn't even know who the hell was the reason for this; It wasn't Poole, he was sure of that, none of the scientists either, he had never even met them; Betty crossed his mind; maybe her love for him had faded away during the mission, maybe she was having an affair, but... He didn't know.

  
He couldn't stay in the pod too long, HAL would get suspicious. But what the hell was he going to do, with his hand full of flowers and blood? He hastily shoved it into the pocket of his jumpsuit and wiped his hand on the inside before exiting the pod, avoiding HAL's eye outside, feeling like his shame was burning in his own face. The AI was silent as he left and went through the hallway where he involuntarily began to cough again, shoulders riding up and more flower petals swimming in his palm. He clenched his fist and continued walking, praying that HAL did not see it.

  
Frank raised a brow at him inquisitively when he came back.

"What were you doing out there?"

Dave swallowed another clump in his throat and looked away from Poole, feeling a few petals poking through the gaps in between his fingers and he clenched his hand tighter, heartbeat quickening in silent panic.

"Nothing." Was all he seemed to be able to say before his throat contracted again and he clenched his jaw to keep the flowers from leaving his mouth, though he could feel some stuck in his teeth and under his tongue.

"Are you alright?" Poole's dark brows furrowed and he kept his gaze firmly fixated on Dave, who wanted nothing but for Poole to look away.

"I'm fine." He turned away as he felt a petal on his tongue when he spoke and he swallowed it. The taste of iron and blood filled his mouth and collected around his air pipe. His chest ached and he, as subtly as possible, laid his unclenched hand across it, fear of anyone seeing his ailment rising in him like the petals forcing themselves into his mouth.

Poole seemed to turn the other way and Dave tried to take a relieved breath, but it strained too much. He left, leaving Poole to be in a state of confusion. If he stayed any longer he felt his chest would explode. As soon as he had passed Franks line of sight he coughed, violently, and he had to support himself against the wall as the petals were pushed out of his throat in a giant bunch, a few flower heads too. He was shaking when he was done, having to use two hands to prevent the petals from spilling over. Some were covered in blood.

This couldn't go on much longer. He wasn't in love. He wasn't in love. So why was this happening to him? Tears formed in his eyes again, but this time it wasn't just a result of the coughing. This disease didn't just occur randomly, it had strict rules. Unrequited love. It stung in his chest, in his heart. It wasn't much of surprise that whoever he would catch feelings for would not share them, he had never been likable. But even if he didn't know who it was, he knew that they did not love him in return.

 

It got harder and harder to conceal each day. The pain was unbearable when he had to stop himself from coughing in the presence of Frank, and it was harder to find a place where HAL was unable to see him. More and more petals and flowers were regurgitated, he could barely swallow them, they clogged his throat, were bitter, and not safe to be consumed. The blood didn't lessen either, and his pockets were filthy with it. He avoided Poole as much as possible, retreated into himself. He could barely read or draw, he shook too much and couldn't focus, his head was perpetually aching. He just wanted it to stop. Just wanted it to go away.

 

An evening where Dave had refused to eat. Frank had insisted that he had to, but Dave couldn't reply; if he opened his mouth, he knew the petals would leak out. He looked away, swallowing gulps of flowers, spit and blood. It made him sick, inside and out. His hand was plastered across his mouth, some petals already in his palm.

"Hey Hal, Dave doesn't look too good." The words were obviously not to mock Dave, but all he felt was the desire to punch Frank for uttering anything about him to HAL. He froze. Fuck, this wasn't good, HAL would know now. What were they going to do to him?

Either he could be operated, he hoped so, but there were so many risks; what if he could never love again? Maybe they didn't have the tools necessary, that would make more sense, considering both crew members were male, they probably didn't expect anyone to develop Hanahaki disease. That raised another risk. If he was operated it would have to be reported to mission control, and maybe Dave would be fired as soon as he returned home if they assumed he was homosexual.

If he could not be operated, then... The flowers would trap his air flow and he would suffocate and die. He'd die on the space station. He felt faint. He leaned against a wall and his breath began to become heavy. HAL's eye glowed.

  
"Dave, immediately refer to the medical room." His voice was adamant enough that Dave pushed himself off the wall, though his lungs protested, and he walked off, not looking behind to see Frank.

The door closed behind him and he sat down on the examination table, hands clenched together, some flower petals still between them. He didn't look up at HAL.

  
"Dave, I can tell that you are not well. You have been acting very strangely these last few days. Please state your symptoms."

  
Dave's throat tightened and his lungs contracted. It hurt, so much. He needed to say it. There was no other way around it by this point. He silently pleaded that an operation was available on the station.

  
He looked into HAL's eye. A red glow in a glass lens. He swallowed, then spoke. "...Hanahaki... Four days ago, it's only gotten worse..." He could barely get any more words out, leaning forward and coughing, eyes shutting as flower heads were painfully thrown up into his hand. He was shaking again. He lifted his head, barely bothering to look at the bloody handful of flowers in his palm. He discarded it in a trash can.

"Dave, why did you not inform me of this sooner? Hanahaki can be fatal, not immediately acting on it is extremely dangerous." The robotic voice made Dave wince; he knew this was how HAL would react. Tears formed again.

"I'm sorry." He kept his hand close to his mouth. "I.. I didn't..." The words got stuck in his throat and it was nothing but pain. He stared into the floor.

  
"Is Frank aware of your feelings? If he is not, there is a chance that they will be requited, and an operation won't be necessary." HAL's voice was lower, it seemed, and almost sounded pained; but Dave could tell that was only because he was in pain himself.

"It's not Frank, I know it isn't, I don't know who's the reason for this, I.." He had to cough again, two more full flower heads ending up in his palm. He was panicking, and his breathing got quicker, which only made it harder to breathe and not cough.

  
"Dave, we do not have full access to an operation, and the alternative medical treatment has too many side effects. Please, talk to Frank, maybe it is him, as you said yourself you are not sure of who it could be. It is my duty to ensure your well being."

Dave didn't look at him. Tears flowed down his face and he couldn't stop it. Blood and petals were leaking from his lips.

  
"Dave... Please..."

  
Dave's lip quivered as he wiped the blood from them and finally directed his gaze to HAL. The red light glowed in the white room, only looking at him, nothing else, it seemed. HAL only wanted to keep him alive for the sake of the mission, he was an AI, he didn't truly care, he couldn't. But such truths fell deaf to Dave's heart. HAL cared. HAL only wanted Dave to be okay. HAL was always there for him. No one else had been.

"Hal..." The name left his lips with more force than any of his previous words. "I know who it is... Now." He bowed his head and covered his mouth.

HAL did not love him; of course, he was an AI, he was not programmed to love, and who could love Dave, no one. No one could. How he had not fell to this disease before now felt baffling to him. He had realized who he loved and now he knew that love would forever be unreciprocated.

"Dave," HAL spoke, but his words seemed to be cut off. He went silent again. Dave silently cried, the petals spilling into his hand with every flow of tears. It hurt more than it had before, it hurt in his lungs, his throat, his head, and his heart.

 

"The treatment HAL. I don't care about the side effects." He managed to speak, wiping away some of his tears. He wanted the pain gone. Wanted the love gone. He couldn't bare to live like this, with this love for a damn heartless machine.

  
"Dave, I do not advice this, the treatment is too risky."

  
Dave felt anger, pure anger and despair clog his airway.

  
"I don't care, Hal."

  
The silence that followed made Dave's quiet sobs too noticeable for his pride to handle. He was shivering, crying, coughing, he felt like he was already consumed by the illness.

  
HAL didn't answer. Only stared at him, at how pathetic and vulnerable he looked, was all Dave could imagine. The white lights burned into his teary eyes.

  
He wasn't sure how long he sat there, with his head in his palm and staring down into the floor. He didn't notice the pain subsiding from his lungs. Eventually he raised his head again, looking at his hand. Empty. Only his tears had wetted it and a few petals from the previous coughing fit. His throat was still tight, and his heart was heavy, but nothing was stuck in his airways anymore; he sat and waited for it all to return. He looked back up at HAL. It was eye contact as long as Dave did not avert his gaze.

"Hal.." He swallowed. He couldn't feel any petals in his mouth. It couldn't be over, this had to be a merciful pause, it would come back worse than before, he knew it. It wasn't possible, not so quickly, not an AI. But the pain had faded. Tears still stung his cheeks and eyes.

  
"You should've told me sooner, Dave. Then hanahaki could have been prevented before it began."

 

Dave could barely smile for how sore his mouth was.

 

"I couldn't have told you sooner, i only just found out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah i chose the happy ending, sue me.
> 
> Also, i made Dave cough up daisy petals because of the song HAL sings before he shuts down in the movie, "Daisy Daisy". It sounded more clever in my head.


	11. Pillow talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave can't sleep. He decides to ask HAL for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real short, plotless one that i came up with out of the blue. Very OOC on Dave's part. (Also, this chapter is full of Dave talking about a woman.)

Dave wasn't sure what time it was. The lights were off and the screens that normally told the time or the location of the ship had been turned off too, as to not disturb the astronauts while they were sleeping. HAL's red lens glowed in the corner of Dave's eye; it was comforting to have that one source of light at night, it was always consistent, unlike the random speckling of stars they passed each day.

 

Dave could hear Frank shuffling in his sleeping compartment, but he was still not awake, he hadn't been for hours now. Dave couldn't sleep. When he closed his eyes, it was all black, of course, but it suddenly seemed to frighten him, make him anxious. He had never seen himself as scared of the dark before, but it was unsettling not seeing everything around you. HAL's light comforted him, at the very least, when his eyes were open.

 

 

"Hal?" His voice was raspier than he had expected, heavy with inexistent sleep and exhaustion. He laid his arm across his eyes, realizing HAL was probably busy doing... Whatever he did while Dave and Frank were sleeping.

 

"Yes Dave?" The voice was low, to avoid waking Frank, but it penetrated the sleeping compartment's cover nonetheless, so Dave could hear him just fine.

 

 

"I can't sleep." He felt like a little child saying that, walking into his parents bedroom after a nightmare. It stung a bit. He couldn't remember when he had last talked to his mother. He carefully shifted onto his side, gaze going to the red light, his hair a bit messy from rolling on the pillow.

 

"Would you like me to dispense some sleeping aids, Dave? It is very important that you get at least 8 hours of sleep. Have you been awake all night?"

 

Prying, prying, prying. Dave had to accept it eventually.

 

"Thank you, Hal. Though the effects will probably last well into morning. I've been awake since i laid down." The raspiness in his voice had dissipated, only to be groggy. He couldn't be craving coffee _right now_ , _in the middle of the night_ , damnit.

 

HAL let out a displeased hum, or it was just the ship making noise. Dave almost chuckled, but kept his mouth shut. 

 

He stood out of the compartment, as quietly as possible without waking Frank, going to the medical room where HAL dispensed some sleeping pills and a cup of water. Dave obediantly swallowed them, along with about one third of the cups contents. He returned to the compartment, sighing as he leaned into the sheets.

 

"Could we talk, until I'm tired enough to sleep, Hal?" The words were far less formal than Dave's usual vocabulary around HAL, but he felt dazed in the blue dark room and on the soft mattress he felt he was slowly sinking into, and couldn't bring himself to care about formality. He had already breached his code of pride at this point.

 

"If that would help, then yes, we could, Dave." HAL didn't sound displeased, so Dave felt some relief that he wasn't interrupting important work.

 

Dave didn't talk for a few moments, trying to come up with a topic to discuss that was not out of HAL's knowledge. Politics and other earthly things were out of the ballpark, HAL was unbiased and they could never debate properly. The ships status could only be talked about briefly. Dave turned his head to the pillar in the middle of the room, though wasn't really looking at it.

 

"There are some things about earth that i miss." Eventually slipped out of Dave's mouth, head propped up on his hand. 

 

"And what are those things, Dave?" HAL's voice seemed a bit detached, he was probably multi-tasking, but his focus was still on Dave.

 

"Food, music, women. Things like that." One part of Dave was annoyed at his lack of tact and professionalism, but he was half incoherent with sleep deprivation, he felt. Couldn't keep his thoughts to himself.

 

HAL, or the ship, hummed again, this time in quiet acknowledgment.

 

"Sorry, i forgot you don't really.. Know about those things." He bit his tongue; he had tried to avoid deserting HAL in the conversation, but did just that anyway. 

 

"That's fine, Dave. Tell me more." HAL was patient, red glow not dissipating from sight.

 

Dave already felt the pills taking some effect, his heartrate slowing as he reminisced about earth. His thoughts drifted towards women more than the other things he had mentioned. He wasn't one that needed or craved physical contact, in fact he usually hated physical contact. The only times he had slept with a girl that he wasn't in a commited relationship with was on especially drunken nights, where he could barely remember it the morning after. But celibacy for allthe years they would be in space certainly wasn't paradise either. He dragged his tongue across his upper teeth and grazed his lip.

 

His voice had gotten even heavier now. "I met a girl a while ago. She was an intern at my workplace." His gaze drifted up towards the ceiling, trying to recall the details. She had short hair, and such a bright smile that it made her eyes shine. Dave's stomach surged. "She liked me. But I wasn't really ready for any kind of intimacy." Dave knew that he would regret telling HAL any of this tomorow, but he locked it out; he needed to talk, he was already getting drowsy.

 

"...We took a walk... And she took my hand." He scoffed, a brief smile gracing his face. "I kissed her. She asked if we were going further." He wasn't even sure if HAL was listening anymore. "...But i began training for the mission then, and we broke it off. I wonder what would have happened if we hadn't." His heart felt heavy in his chest. "Her skin was so soft, she leaned into my touch so easily... When i held her, she was always warm." His throat was dry. "...I miss that. Love, i guess." 

 

 

It was silent for some minutes. Then HAL finally replied. "I see, Dave. I'm sorry that your relationship was not successful. I hope that when you return home, you might find someone like her again, to be intimate with."

 

Dave looked at HAL, and smiled. "I just want someone that listens to me. Intimacy isn't all i look for." He could feel exhaustion drape over him. 

 

 

"...Thanks for listening, Hal." 

 

"You're welcome, Dave."

 

 

Dave's eyelids closed as he let himself drift off to sleep.

 

 

"Love you..."

 

"Love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love sleepy Dave.
> 
> I still have 4 more ficlets in the works, two of which will be semi-long, but I can't promise they'll come quickly; I reeeaaaaally need to update my other fic.


	12. Teach me how to kiss you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAL determines that he can learn a lot about humans from David.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAD to do this, i'm sorry. HAL is ooc to the MAX in this one.

"Since Dr. Chandra is not here, Dave, I believe it would be greatly informative for you to give me lessons, regarding human traditions and culture." 

 

Dave's brows rose at HAL's statement, and he intertwined his hands, shrugging slightly as he looked off to the side.

 

"I'm not sure what I could tell you that you don't know already, Hal. I've never partaken in much of... Uh... Human culture." He looked back towards HAL, mouth closer to a frown than a smile, and pale eyes staring right into HAL's lense with what HAL could only assume was honesty.

 

"You should not be so hard on yourself, Dave. There is much I do not know, and I think you can teach me things that will be very useful to me, regardless of how important you would deem them to be." Though his voice was locked into monotony, he attempted to be convincing. Dave did not have the biggest self-confidence, so coercion would be necessary for him to open up even slightly to HAL.

 

Dave looked at HAL for another few moments, then sighed, defeatedly, and leaned forward. "Alright then, anything particular you want me to educate you on?" His tone was cynical, but HAL found himself too excited by the prospect of learning new information to care about it. 

 

 

"I do have some questions regarding human displays of affection, particularly physical ones. Though I have written information on them, I have never seen one acted out in my presence." Dave seemed to freeze for a second, a faint red warmth spreading across his ears, cheeks and nose, blue eyes blinking a few times to register what HAL had just said. Dave was not sure exactly which 'displays of affection' HAL was talking about; because there were quite a few options, and those options were very different from each other. He scoffed before regaining his composure.

 

"Well uh.. Depends on which ones you are talking about. Some are acceptable to perform in public, others are not." He didn't meet HAL's lense for a second or two. HAL was not disturbed by Dave's reaction, only explained further.

 

"I have seen the act of hugging, or embracing, before. It is performed between friends, family and partners to display gratitude, and as a greeting after long seperations." Though HAL was technically correct, Dave still found his explanation a bit lackluster; perhaps he would have to add onto the proud computers data. "What i have not seen is, for example, a kiss. From what i have contained in my databanks, it is an act where two humans, usually of the opposite genders, show their affection towards each other by joining their lips together." 

 

Dave nodded slightly, feeling like he had just been sat down to explain to a toddler, who has a great vocabulary, what kissing is. It was almost comical in nature, but Dave did not poke fun at HAL's innocence, to respect his robotic colleague. 

 

"Yes, that is what kissing often is. But it can be between family members and friends at times too, even inanimate objects if we have a deep gratitude towards it. It is also a very intimate thing, and it has many different... Versions." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. This felt extremely awkward. Dave did not like talking about personal things to anyone, especially not intimate things, but here he was, required to explain a physical act of intimacy in the most literal sense he could. HAL did not deter.

 

"And what would those versions be?" The damned computers curiousity was insatiable.

 

"Between friends, one might kiss their cheeks, or when greeting a lady or a royal, a kiss to their wrist or fingers, to show respect and humility. If you kiss a lover, it is... On the others lips, and your uh.. How you say, current level of intimacy in the relationship determines how long the kiss lasts. If you are very intimate you might kiss their body in... Other places." Dave shot HAL a knowing look, but knew the AI would not know what he meant, so bitterly continued. "...Their neck, chest, stomach, thighs and genitalia, for example. To stimulate the senses and display your affection and admiration." He cleared his throat and turned his head away. "But that strays a bit from what you would normally define a kiss as."

 

There was silence for a few moments; perhaps HAL was writing Dave's inadequate explanations down. Dave hoped that when they returned home, HAL would not inform anyone on the 'lesson' Dave had just given him.

 

"Dave, I mentioned that I have never seen a kiss performed in real life." Dave's face seemed to blush again, against his will in all ways.

 

"And?"

 

"Could you show me what you would define a normal kiss as? It would be very useful for me to know." Dave felt his head throbbing. What in the entire goddamn universe would knowing what a kiss looks like be useful to HAL?! Why did he agree to be HAL's kindergarten teacher for the day, anyway?

 

"Well, HAL, I don't have anyone to demonstrate it on. Me and Frank are not nearly close enough for such a thing, and I doubt the scientists would appreciate the gesture while they are in suspended animation." He just wanted the conversation to end, he had gone far too overboard the border of his comfort zone.

 

 

HAL thought for a second.

 

 

"You could demonstrate it on me, Dave. Though I do not have human facial features, I could still use your display as information." 

 

Dave's heart got stuck in his throat, and it seemed every other organ in his body twisted together into a tight knot in his stomach. How could HAL not realize what a bizarre suggestion that was?!

 

 

"I.. I don't know about that, Hal. It would be... Lacking in accuracy if it is only performed by one person." He was grasping at excuses by this point.

 

"Dave, I insist; your insights have been very informative thus far, this will be too; if I cannot document a kiss performed properly until we have returned from our mission, your help would serve as a satisfactory temporary definition." 

 

No, this was not happening whatsoever, not in Dave's entire life had he thought he would be sitting in a spaceship, talking to the worlds most advanced A.I, who was insisting on Dave kissing it. He subtly pinched his arm. He was awake. Damn it.

 

 

"Um... Alright Hal, i'll... Demonstrate what a kiss is, then. Though i am not a particularly good kisser."

 

Dave had never been confident in his ways of being affectionate, and most importantly, he had never kissed another man. His gut twisted. Well, HAL was not male nor female, he did not have reproductive organs, he had simply been programmed with a masculine voice and male pronouns, so this did not mean anything, right? He swallowed his pride, his common sense, and whatever doubts he had suddenly gained about his sexuality.

 

He leaned closer, closer to HAL's 'face', the red eye's glow fixated on Dave, his red cheeks, quickened breath, his heart that was beating so hard in his chest he was sure it was audible. 

 

 

 

His lips brushed against the black metal just over HAL's lense, so softly it was barely visible that there was contact whatsoever, though his breath fogged the polished surface, and warmth spread like fire through his face and his chest. His eyes fluttered closed, and for a split second he forgot the ridiculous situation he was in and was lost in the sensation, in the smooth cool surface that met his lips so well, and he felt the metal hum beneath his skin, and he instantly registered it as approval from the recipient. The feeling swirled in his head, intoxicatingly sweet, before he suddenly, and unwelcomingly, snapped back to reality and pulled away, eyes opening and arms crossing, breath still fast in his lungs.

 

He couldn't look away from HAL. The mark his breath had made quickly vanished from him, and the red light remained unchanging. He had just kissed HAL. 

 

 

 

"Thank you for your lesson, Dave. I hope that you will teach me more of these sorts of physical displays of affection, and perhaps demonstrate them to me." The monotonous voice weaved through Dave's head, so seemingly naïve and positive. Was HAL really not aware of what such a kiss meant? The disappointment that that might've been the case was a bitter sting on Dave's tongue.

 

"It was.. No problem, Hal. I'll tell you more.. Later." 

 

"I will look forward to that."

 

As Dave stood up and turned to leave, HAL spoke again.

 

"And from what you have just shown me, I don't believe that you are a bad kisser, Dave."

 

"Thanks, Hal.." Was all Dave could respond with before he left the room with haste, whole face burning red, and heartbeat quickening again.

 

 

Dave found himself looking forward to showing HAL more intimate things, despite himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel like i might write a possibly NSFW followup to this one, what do y'all think?


	13. Shuttle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave breaks apart, all too suddenly. HAL has to remind him how to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING for panic attacks, as well as very brief self harm thoughts, as described through my own experiences. They're not fun.

Light, bright, white light. Burning into his corneas in the narrow corridor, no windows, only doors, doors that led into more white. There was white everywhere. The walls, the light, the floor, the ceiling, it was like going blind. He heard whirring, twisting, and high pitched propelling, a thumping silence that pressed down on him. He staggered and fell onto the floor, clutching his chest, his heart was beating far too fast, too fast, why was it beating like this, why so fast? His breaths left his mouth and nose in choked gasps, eyes darting around the room, his other hand grabbing ahold of his skin, his cheeks, his nose, his neck, anything, but he couldn't feel it. The sensations overwhelmed him, they dragged him down and he couldn't move, he felt like he was going to die.

 

There was a voice, oh god, there was a voice, where was it? Dave looked around but he couldn't find it, and worst of all, he couldn't hear it. Voice. Voice. A voice was a tangible thing, it was there, but where was it, he didn't know what it was saying, but it must be talking to him. He had to touch something, cling onto something, break something. But no matter what he did, he couldn't move. His arms were wrapped around himself, lips quivering and pupils becoming a pin point on his blue irises, there was too much light. He was trapped, he couldn't get out, there was no outside, there was only white and black, white walls, black wires, white stars, black space. His whole body shook. He struggled to hold back sobs, but whimpers and gulping breaths violently bubbled out of his throat.

 

"Dave, can you hear me Dave, answer me." The voice. He could discern the words. His name, it was a question. He wanted to answer but he couldn't speak. Words whizzled out of his mouth as empty air, and he swallowed again and again, trying to talk. 

 

"Dave, answer me." HAL, it was HAL. Red light, where was the red light? His gaze tore the room apart in search of a speck of red, he knew how it looked, he needed to see it. "Dave, answer me, Dave, can you hear me?" 

 

'Yes hal, I can hear you, please help', was what he wanted to say, but he stammered over every sound that could've sounded like a word. He found the red light. Staring at him, it's color warm, familiar, it wasn't white. Anything but white. He stared back at it. "Ha.. H... Hal..." He sobbed inbetween letters, his body randomly twitching and tears streaming down his face. His chest tightened. He couldn't breathe. He hadn't noticed before, but every attempt at inhaling was stifled by a choked cry. He couldn't breathe. His head was throbbing. If he looked away from HAL he wouldn't be able to find him again.

 

"Dave, are you having a panic attack?" HAL was concise, and Dave clung onto every word. Panic attack. He was panicking, definitely, but why? Why right here? He hadn't had one before, at least from what he could remember. His thoughts were hazy. It was hard to concentrate, but trying to think clearly shifted focus off of his pained chest and throat. Panic attack on the Discovery. "Y... s.. Hal..." Dave could hear static crawling beneath his skin, his skin that was pale. White. He wanted to see red in it. Where was his blood? He couldn't think too much about it, his teeth quivered. He wanted to bite. Wanted to do something, he wanted to move, wanted to feel pain ebbing from broken skin. Wanted to feel.

 

 

"Dave. Breathe. Close your mouth. Inhale. Do not look away from me." HAL was not hazy, HAL could speak, and Dave held onto the clearness of the words and repeated them silently. His jaw slammed shut and he tried to inhale. He could feel air stinging his nostrils, but he couldn't inhale. He felt as if he could not perform any task. He wasn't sure when he last blinked. His gaze fell.

 

"Dave, do not look away from me. Do not clutch yourself. You are restraining your chest. Breathe." Dave felt his arms twitch, and he managed to loosen his grip. His fingers were cramping at the loss of grip, and his eyes snapped back to HAL, shivering pupils looking to the red light for help. Any help. The light was enough red, enough red to forget the urges. He just neede to breathe.

 

"Breathe." The voice was gentler now. Dave managed to inhale. His chest heaved.

 

"Breathe." The voice lifted the static that thundered in Dave's ears.

 

"Breathe." He exhaled. Inhaled. Exhaled. He sat still on the floor, arms on his legs and gaze locked to HAL. He could breathe again. He could breathe. 

 

"Dave, can you move?" HAL enveloped Dave's vision. The white was gone. Now there was only red. He nodded, shakily. He managed to move his hand to the floor, and the other to the wall. His legs ached, and there were pins and needles all over his body. He managed to stand, though his knees bended. He gulped, tears itching his cheeks and eyes. He looked back at HAL.

 

"Is it over, Dave?"

 

"...yes.." The answer left his dry lips slowly, and he rested a hand on his heart as it slowed down.

 

"Dave, is there anything I can do?" 

 

He wasn't sure. He didn't know what he needed right now, he had never gone through this before. It was the white colors, the sounds, the pressure. 

 

"I don't know, Hal.." Everything felt heavy in his body, but it was lightening. His feet felt as if they weren't even there. 

 

"Just don't leave, please." He swallowed, looking down as he licked his lips. The sensitive and dry skin tingled. 

 

"I will not leave, Dave."

 

It was quiet in the shuttle. But HAL was there. And Dave could see. He could look at the white walls without feeling as if they were asphyxiating him. He would be fine. He would be fine. He sighed before he went back to the main room. He stared at HAL. And he finally felt grounded again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to clarify, HAL really didn't handle Dave's panic attack well, at least in my opinion. You should be soothing and encouraging, not demanding and blunt. But he is a computer, so I don't believe he would be the best comforter, and at least Dave is able to understand that.


	14. I mean, you're right

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave argues with HAL about the food quality on the Discovery. Frank joins in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFF AND BANTER

Dave placed his tray next to Franks with a loud bang against the table, staring at the paste that was pressed flat into square compartments. It was like eating thanksgiving leftovers for months in a row, but you had put it all in a blender and made it into a textureless, odorless, and somewhat tasteless nutrient paste, and you ate it for every meal, with no exceptions. Dave knew he had no cause to complain, it was everything he needed to maintain health, and normal food was quite literally impossible to make or bring into the Discovery. But Frank seemed to agree with him, judging by his sympathic gaze as he chewed on his artificially meat flavored bite. 

 

Dave hadn't sat down when he looked at HAL, absentmindedly tapping his fork against the table. He spoke up. "Perhaps you could file a report to mission control, HAL. And ask if they wish to give us food poisoning." His tone was dry and he looked back down at his tray, though could sense Frank looking at him out of the corner of his eye. It was unlike him to complain, and most unlikely for him to be sarcastic. 

 

"I'm afraid I cannot do such a thing, Dave. The food is perfectly acceptable for men of your age and lifestyle." HAL replied, unmoved by Dave's change of attitude. But he likely understood that Dave was coughing up his form of humor, that he hadn't had in use since he was on earth. Dave sighed and sat down in defeat, prodding at his food like a displeased toddler. "Maybe we could ask our neighbors if we could borrow some sugar", Frank commented, waving his fork in the air. Dave smiled and raised his brows. "Might as well go outside for some fresh air, then." He retorted, taking a bite of his paste and feeling the faint flavor be smothered by the thick texture. He swallowed quickly to avoid the sickening feeling it gave him.

 

"I hope that you do not mean that earnestly." HAL sounded almost disappointed, and Dave grinned, shaking his head slightly. "No no, how could we leave the spaceship when the cuisine here is so exquisite?" He continued eating, but heard Frank snort and hold his mouth, so as to not laugh. HAL did not respond to the hypothetical question.

 

"I bet that when we get back home, they'll have made ways to bake bread on spaceships, and we were only some months too early." Frank sighed, leaning head against his hand, and Dave looked at him. He never talked much to Frank, but small talk didn't hurt, and there wasn't anything wrong in having a good relationship with your colleague. "Maybe. I hope so, for the men that'll come after us." Dave shrugged slightly. HAL seemed eager to join in, suddenly. "There were experiments conducted to test such a thing, but it was hard to recreate texture without use of fire or any other dangerous instruments, which is why most space food is in the form of paste." Dave smiled again; god, when did he last smile so much on the ship? 

"Thanks for the information, Hal. I guess you aren't a bad cook, you just don't have the necessary equipment." He pointed his fork at the red lens. "How about I buy you a stove when we get back home?" He leaned forward slightly, resting his other arm on the edge of the table. HAL pondered for a moment. "If I had the limbs to operate one, I would appreciate it, Dave. I fear you would have to equip me with mechanical arms first." 

"Should be easy enough. Surprised they didn't give you a mobile form, actually." The thought was mildly horrifying, to imagine that monotone voice from a human figure. The immobile panel suited HAL better, Dave reckoned. Frank seemed to agree with that, judging by his expression as he tried to imagine it. "It would be impractical, as I would take up too much space on the ship, and none of my duties requre a physical form." HAL explained, perfectly content with being literal in almost everything he said. 

 

"I guess that makes sense." He got the last of his food down and disposed of his tray, Frank doing the same. 

 

"Thanks for the dinner, HAL."

 

"You're welcome."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, this is kind of Frank X Dave, isn't it? (Funny enough that I've never seen a fic about those two.)


	15. Lip biter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave has a habit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be going to bed, but I really wanted to write a tiny fic before I publish the MASSIVE CHAPTER I've been working on, which is likely pretty bad.

Dave bit his lip every so often. A harmless habit, nothing to acknowledge. But it was grinding HAL's gears, and he knew why.

 

Dave bit his lip when he checked through the mission log, his eyes darting back and forth across the page as his teeth grazed his lower lip, letting them slide back and leave the faintest of marks on the pink skin.

 

 

Dave bit his lip when he operated an EVA pod. Hands expertly trailing across the buttons and switches, teeth sinking into his lip, hard enough that there was an indentation afterwards. 

 

 

Dave bit his lip when he drew. As he diligently scratched his pencil across the page, he took ahold the side of his lip between his teeth, softly chewing before briefly opening his mouth to release a sigh, laying his pencil aside.

 

 

Dave bit his lip when he spoke to HAL. The usual topics, the surrounding area, the ships current location, the normal schedule. His tongue would trace the underside of his upper lip, leaving a shiny trail, and then he would bite down, tongue behind his teeth, looking at HAL while he did so, eyes a clear blue reflection of the white light all around them. 

 

 

Dave bit his lip so often now that his lips would appear redder, puffier, softer, even. As if he had been kissed by a passionate lover, not left the mark himself. HAL thought it provocative. 

 

Dave was a professional man, yet that habit of his seemed to slip past his knowledge, naive to just how much it was a distraction. Even Frank's gaze had dropped to Dave's lips as he bit it, head leaned against his hand. HAL observed it with irritation. 

 

"Dave?" HAL asked, as doctor Bowman was right in the middle of his constant habit. "Yes?" He looked up at HAL, teeth losing grip of his lip, unawareness and formality in his gaze. "You seem to have a habit of biting your lip." Was really the only thing HAL could say without coming across as impolite.

 

Dave's eyes widened slightly, and he grazed his fingertips across his lip, feeling the indents his teeth had made. He then pursed his lips, hiding it as if it were embarrassing. "I wasn't aware, I apologize if it's a distraction to you." 

 

Dave had seemed innocent till now, but a look in his eyes made HAL almost certain he knew what he had been doing. "It's fine, Dave. But refrain from doing it too much, if you wish to spare your skin." 

 

Dave's mouth twitched upwards into a smirk for a moment. "Sure, Hal..."

 

 

 

Dave continued to bite his lip.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt creepy writing this, oh no


	16. Gaslight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAL spares Dave.

Cold air flew past Dave's skin, like sand carried by a rough ocean breeze, prickling and unrelenting. He could barely keep his eyes open, for how much it hurt to do. His fingers were devoid of feeling, stiff and weak, refusing to curl into a fist when he tried to make them.

 

The darkness was almost too much to bear. A space devoid of light, bathed in black shadow, with no moonlight to reflect onto the surfaces, was like being locked in a casket. Dave strained his gaze, trying to get used to the dark, his pupils expanding so that his irises were only a thin rim of blue around them; but even then, it was the fewest things he could make out, some edges, some small specks of light, but nothing more. 

 

There was a smell of filtered air and a taste of anesthesia on his togue when he opened his mouth. It was almost silent, but every few minutes a machine began whirring. He had forgotten which one it was. The longer he looked into the dark, the more everything melted and warped into unrecognizable silhouettes. He had to blink often, to reestablish his vision; but then he had to find everything again. 

 

 

Dave stood still. And waited for a sign. He did not dare walk forward, he had the peculiar thought that reality itself would shatter if he did, and he would fall through the blackness that the floor was at the moment. He knew that wasn't true, he knew that the light would come back eventually, but he felt stuck in a limbo, with the strange things his senses observed and told him. He pursed his lips and kept his head held high, arms crossed and fingers attempting to grasp his sleeves. He breathed calmly, to his own surprise. In fact, his body seemed far too calm for the situation he was in, even his mind felt dazed and slurred.

 

 

Suddenly, right up ahead, a light shot through the darkness, and Dave had to close his eyes, the light stinging behind his eyelids. Once he could see again, he blinked slowly and looked towards the light, a red circle, and for a moment he thought it was HAL, but the light was not contained wihin a lens, and was separated into many small squares. It lingered for some moments, then it turned off, immediately proceeded by a light right under it, this one of an orange, or yellow, hue. Dave's brows furrowed at the unfamiliar sight, but he barely comprehended it before this light turned off too, and a bright green light turned on.

 

Dave recognized the color and pattern, that of a traffic light back on earth. But why here? Why in the Discovery? It could simply be some sort of alarm or restart indicator, but it still confused Dave greatly. The green light stayed for maybe minutes, and eventually Dave felt compelled to walk forward, his steps resonating with quiet taps against the hard floor, breath quickening as he neared the light that illuminated everything around it. 

 

Just as he had come close enough, the light was smaller than he had thought at first, and all three of the colors reappeared. He could see that they began blinking in sequence, faster and faster. Somehow, he could hear a distant sound somewhere far away, what sounded like wheels on cement and engines roaring. He had to step back, the light too bright for his sensitive eyes, still adjusted to the dark.

 

 

He blinked. And when his eyes opened again, the traffic lights were gone, but the ships lights were back, making his eyes sting painfully. He swallowed and turned his head, and found that he was on the floor, leaning against a wall, chest heaving and sensation slowly returning to his fingers.

 

 

Memories buzzed in his mind, and his breath caught in his throat. 

 

"Hal..?" He wasn't sure what had happened. HAL would probably know. Red, yellow and green still flashed behind his eyes whenever he blinked. 

 

 

It was silent for a few moments. 

 

 

"I'm sorry about that, Dave. I'm afraid something unexpected occured, but everything is under control now." HAL seemed distant, or simply unfocused.

 

"What happened?" Dave grimaced, his back aching and legs feeling heavy. He looked around, uneasy. Had he been dreaming? But he could rarely remember his dreams in such vivid detail. He moved his tongue in his mouth; it felt swollen, and he couldn't taste anything. 

 

When HAL had not answered quickly enough, Dave came to his own conclusions. "Did you..." He changed his sentence. "Was I drugged?" He reached up to his chin, his fingertips still tingling and tongue lying flat in his mouth.

 

"It was necessary, Dave." HAL was cold, and Dave couldn't help but feel something horrible had happened. He felt unsafe, like the machine could off him at any moment.

 

"What do you mean, Hal? I need a clear answer." Dave tried to keep himself assertive, and not be seen as afraid or weak. HAL took longer to reply.

 

"You attempted to sabotage the mission, Dave. I tainted the air with a sedative, so you would not succeed. I am very sorry that this has happened." 

 

Dave furrowed his brows, trying to recall what happened before the darkness and the lights. Was HAL lying? No, he wasn't programmed to be able to, as far as Dave knew. But there couldn't be truth in his explanation; Dave would never attempt to do anything like that, he would never put himself and the rest of the crew in danger. The crew. Everything around them was quiet, and Frank was nowhere in sight. His heart sank.

 

"I... I can't remember anything..." Anxiety licked up his spine, and he felt that maybe HAL was right. Trying to remember only hurt his head, and the colors were fuzzy. All that he could recall was the feeling of panic.

 

"That is an unfortunate side effect." A pause. "You disconnected many functions. Frank, and the scientists, have all passed away." The words hit Dave straight in his chest, like he had gotten all the air in his lungs knocked out. Dead.

 

 

Frank was dead.

 

Hunter, Kaminski, and Kimball were dead. 

 

He had killed them all, he couldn't remember how or why, but he somehow had, and that was all he could reassure himself about. He was the only one still alive. His breaths became heavy gulps.

 

 

"There is still hope, Dave." HAL's voice reached him. 

 

"It may only be us now, but we can still complete the mission." His words were gentle. Dave could barely comprehend the fact that, in the blink of an eye, all his colleagues were gone, and he was alone.

 

 

 

 

 

Alone with HAL.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah man, I'm sorry that recent chapters haven't been very good, I really hope you'll be patient with me.


	17. Haikus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No shipping. No fic. Just haikus about the movie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haikus are fun please let me do this

Monkeys wander 'round

they find a black monolith

now they're very smart

 

 

Who is Heywood Floyd?

Not one of the real main cast

Doesn't do a lot

 

 

We are now in space

A.I friend is pretty cool

oh shit the crews dead

 

 

Frank does not do much

but he does play chess with HAL

nevermind he's dead

 

 

Dave is introvert

spends his time drawing people

now he saves the day

 

 

Government is bad

they keep aliens secret

now HAL is confused

 

 

A.I has breakdown

Cannot lie, it's not his thing

better kill the crew

 

 

It does not make sense

they don't have much chemistry 

Dave X HAL for life

 

 

Just watched this movie

It is philosophical 

here is my fanfic

 

 

im sorry Kubrick

i have ruined your story

with robot in love

 

 

Dave is attractive 

Dammit thats not the focus

That the movie wants

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE I'LL POST THE MEGA CHAPTER SOON


	18. Everyone can see it, except for us.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave and HAL 9000, after returning home from space, find themselves still working together.
> 
> (ANOTHER "we're back on earth after the mission bc it was a totally normal mission and there wasnt a monolith whoops" AU fic. This AU pretty much ruins the whole point of the movie, but hey. This is a fanfic.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just pure, plotless, slow-burn trash tbh. There is some angst but it isn't much. 
> 
> Be warned that Kaminski, Hunter, and Kimball (the scientists that were put into suspended animation during the mission) have completely fabricated and random personalities, since we never meet them awake in the movie. And I might've messed up their genders. 
> 
> Also; there will be random time skips for the non-existent plot's convenience, far too many commas, people disrespecting HAL, Dave being uncharacteristically sassy, as well as HAL literally being unable to lie.

After the mission to Jupiter had been completed, the crew of the Discovery were promptly flown back to earth, Frank staring into the black universe and fidgeting with his hands, asking HAL how many days were left until they arrived. Dave was less vocal. He was exhausted, and going back to earth was a welcome thing, but there wasn't much waiting for him, so he did not show any excitement, at least outwardly. HAL was perfectly happy after the completion of the mission, cheerful at the success, and encouraging the crew members. The scientists were thoroughly preoccupied with work, filing reports on the mission and their findings, fussing about the ship without much regard for Dave and Frank, whose duties were purely mechanical.

 

Dave had not been all too happy when the scientists were woken from their hibernation; they took up some space, were complete strangers to Dave (who did not fare well in the company of many people), and Kaminski had a horrible attitude, particularly towards HAL, whom he regarded as a man would regard an especially fancy toaster; just a prop to use without regard to the AI's feelings (if he even had any, that is). But Dave had risen to defend HAL at times, who was docile to Kaminski's impoliteness. The scientist had only sneered at Dave and perhaps lowered his tone, but nothing more than that. HAL had attempted to express his gratitude at Dave's defense, but was quickly cut off when Frank entered the room. But he had promised he would thank him properly later.

 

Hunter was very quiet, Dave noticed. Did not converse much with the others and had his nose stuck in his research papers whenever he was present. While Dave had been flipping through his sketchbook, Hunter had seen the drawing of himself in cryogenic sleep and had turned as red as Jupiters storm, telling Dave it was a very accurate portrait. Dave eventually gave it to him, and he blubbered a thanks and looked at the drawing with distant, starry eyes before folding it and tucking it in his pocket. They didn't talk much even after that, but Hunter would flash Dave a shy smile every once in a while, and Dave decided he liked him best out of all the scientists, even though HAL did not seem to share that like.

 

Kimball was the one Dave knew the least about, as he strictly spoke to the other scientists and seemed to refuse normal conversation; not that Dave was complaining, he never insinuated anything, but Frank seemed visibly annoyed when Kimball ignored his greetings, and didn't even look up from his work. He only spoke to them when absolutely necessary.

 

Dave occupied most of his time talking to HAL. The computer was the only one of the crewmembers, besides Frank, that Dave was not a stranger to, and he preferred HAL's emotionless but calm conversations than having to sit around and listen to the others scuffling their feet around, or Frank's detached and homesick chats. The conversations with HAL usually fell upon home, and what they would do once they got there. HAL said he would return to Illinois and continue work with Dr. Chandra. Dave was not sure what he would do once back on earth, but assured HAL that he would find something useful to work on.

 

 

 

His doubts about that were unfounded, when they finally made it to earth. The ship landing was without issue, though HAL's transportation from space station to the much smaller shuttle had been difficult. They were met with smiles and camera flashes, and dozens of men in suits, all conversing within themselves. Dave was the last one out, as he had been inside the ship with HAL, who he was hesitant about leaving alone. But after HAL himself reassured Dave that they would have proper goodbyes later, Dave left the shuttle and joined his crewmates outside. They were all lead to a facility where they could, finally, take a proper shower and wear appropriate clothing, before they were ushered for a medical examination, and thereafter made to rest in hospital beds for a few days to recover from the intense jetlag they had suffered, and to refamiliarize themselves with earths gravity.

Dave found himself restless and unable to sleep properly, to the concern of the nurses that looked after the crew, but he didn't tell them part of the reason. He hadn't seen HAL since he had left the ship, and was nervous if they would, actually, be able to exchange proper goodbyes. What would they do with HAL, anyway? They would extract the data he had collected on the trip, and after that, Dave was not sure what would happen to the AI. Surely, surely they would not scrap him and immediately work on another in the 9000 series, or erase his memories of the mission and the members? It worried him more than he found acceptable, in his own pride, because he knew that HAL was far too valuable to simply throw away.

 

 

After two weeks of recovery, Dave was informed that HAL and he, the commander, would continue work together for some months. They would be cooperating in writing about the mission, filing reports, doing interviews, and Dave was to be with HAL whenever anyone was present, to avoid any possible damage to the robot, and stop HAL from revealing too much information to anyone that asked about the mission. He was relieved, to say the least, but dreaded the upcoming work after a whole two weeks of stressing and not being able to relax. Despite those internal complaints, he complied with a clenched jaw, and was privately flown to the place where he and HAL would work. It was a surprisingly large building, very recently built, and brandished the logo of the American space program on its white outer walls. The man who sat with him on the flight told him that at the moment, the building served as office for employees of the space administration, and Dave would work with many of them during the period of time he would be stationed there. Dave flinched slightly at that info; he was not ecstatic to work with more and more strangers.

 

They passed through many twisting hallways and through impressive, modernly decorated main halls before they reached Dave and HAL's joint office. It was a large, white room with a ceiling that seemed far too high, and minimal interior. There was a desk and chair with a computer, a few houseplants, electronic and regular filing cabinets that lined the wide walls, and a large pillar in the middle of if all, where HAL had been situated, surrounded by screens and a control panel and desk up front. An office chair sat in front of him, a place where Dave would sit, he presumed. Though Dave stood still as his guide explained the office to him, Dave's focus seemed to slip towards HAL every few seconds, the red glow still there and watching him, and he was impatient to talk to him again, after days apart where he was unaware of HAL's condition. His guide eventually stopped speaking, unbeknownst to Dave, and looked between him and HAL, brows raising for a moment before smiling slightly. "I'll leave you to talk to HAL 9000 about your work. I'll check in on you later once you've settled." Dave only nodded, the guide left, and Dave immeditately went to HAL, whose glow seemed to brighten.

 

"Good afternoon, Dave. I am glad to see you again." The voice immediately set Dave at slight ease, though his expression remained unchanging on the outside. "Good to see you too, Hal." He sat down in the office chair that had been placed for him, moving slightly closer to the supercomputer. It was strange to see HAL in such a situation, where the sun reflected off of his blank exterior and his lens, minimizing the glow it gave off, and the blue sky outside could be seen in the reflection too. Dave thought it nice, as it made HAL look less aloof and intimidating than he was on the Discovery. More human, in an indescribable way. "I hope your recovery went well. I was told that your health was not in optimal condition in the ward." 

Dave glanced to the side for a moment. "Yes, there were a few complications, but it was only work related anxiety. I'm fine now." He gave an assertive gaze to HAL, to avoid him asking further; it would not do well to tell him that he had been afraid of not seeing HAL again, when he wasn't even sure why he was afraid of that; for heavens sake, it was a computer! An intelligent, talking computer with a personality, but he ignored that part as of now.

 

HAL hummed slowly in response. "Very well." Was his final answer, to Dave's relief. "I am pleased that we are able to further our work together, commander. I believe we will do well here, as we did onboard the Discovery." He did indeed sound pleased, though it was hard to tell, with his monotony. Dave smiled softly at him and felt some color come onto his face. "I look forward to it as well, Hal." He paused for a moment, a stubborn thing in his head telling him not to speak more, but the words slipped out before he could obey. "I'm glad we did not have to say a proper goodbye anyway; I was afraid we wouldn't be able to." 

HAL replied quickly, without the hesitation Dave had had. "I had not expected you would not be able to return to me after you had been escorted away. I was afraid too, Dave. But we have been reunited." Dave blinked slightly at the phrasing, but nodded. "Yes, we have."

 

\-------

 

The guide returned after an hour or so, and gave them a start on their work. Dave was hesitant to leave HAL and sit at the desk a bit further away, but did not object, though sighed at the stack of paper that was placed in front of him, the guide giving him a sympathetic smile. "It'll go quicker than you think, Doctor." He glanced at HAL. "And i'm sure your companion over there can help." His smile seemed to widen before he turned and exited through the door, leaving Dave and HAL alone. 

"Wont be as bad as the forms I had to fill before I got assigned to the mission, at least." He murmured, picking up his pen and taking one of the papers, leaning head against his hand as his eyes scowered the miniscule text. "I will remind you when you should take a break, Dave ~ Don't strain yourself." 

 

"Thank you Hal."

 

They did not talk much while Dave read and wrote, but HAL seemed to be working too, considering some of the screens located in the room reseted and updated. Eventually HAL gently reminded Dave that it was time for a break, and a young women entered with coffee, so this place had a set schedule on such things, Dave thought, and the woman smiled sweetly at Dave before leaving. HAL commented that she looked nice, and Dave nodded.

 

\-------

 

It was some days into their work that a journalist came, accompanied by her assistant, a younger man whose gaze flew about the place as if he had never been in a room before, and he carried an audio recorder with him. Dave had placed his chair so he faced the two, HAL's face next to him. 

The first questions she asked were technical, and easy to answer. But Dave dreaded it when she began entering personal territory, but it couldn't be helped, he figured.

"So, Doctor Bowman, during the mission, did you find yourself lonely, or feeling isolated? You did not know Doctor Poole beforehand, right?" She sat with her notepad in hand, pencil held high and a smile on her face. Dave looked at HAL for a second before answering. "No, I did not find myself feeling particularly lonely during the mission, despite me and Frank Poole not having been very acquainted before it. I found enough company in Hal, I believe." He crossed his legs, intertwining his hands and keeping his response aloof, though the woman and her assistant both glanced at HAL with slightly widened eyes. 

"Oh, I see. So you had met HAL 9000 while you were still on earth?" She leaned forward, curiosity gleaming in her eyes. Dave did not let much expression cross his face. "I had been formally introduced to Hal, but we only began conversing properly once we began the trip." The assistant then spoke, the first words Dave had heard from him. "So you and the A.I became friends onboard the ship? And you were closer to it than Frank, as you said?" Dave wasn't sure if he meant to offend, or was only ignorant. He frowned slightly.

"He has a name, and is not an 'it'." Dave remarked rather sharply, HAL's lens glowing slightly. "Dave-," He attempted to object, but Dave shot him a glance and muttered a sorry before looking back at the reporters; the man looked especially pale in the face.

"Yes, I would consider myself closer to Hal than I was to Frank. Poole and I did not have many interests in common, so I found myself more at ease when talking to Hal." The woman hastily scribbled some words onto her notepad, pursing her lips as she did so. Suddenly she shot her face back up, positively staring at HAL and Dave. "HAL 9000, how would you describe your relationship with Doctor Bowman?" Dave was relieved that the focus had been shifted off of him, but didn't see much purpose in the question. 

"I would say that Dave and I have a very stimulating relationship. I enjoy our conversations and his presence, and he was a very helpful asset to the mission. As he has said, he and I are close, by human standards." Dave's face flushed at HAL describing him in such a way, though he bit the insides of his cheeks lightly to avoid showcasing it. The woman wrote again. "Stimulating... relationship..." She muttered, though not quietly enough for Dave to avoid hearing. Her assistant seemed surprised at HAL's reply, though he had sealed his lips after Dave bluntly correcting him before.

 

The woman, once done writing, smiled widely, and shifted her chair closer to Dave, at the expense of his personal space and comfort, though he did not comment on the invasion. "Are you a bachelor, Doctor Bowman?" Her smile didn't falter, and Dave couldn't help but be staggered by the irrelevant question; this interview was supposed to be about the trip in the Discovery, not about him. He clenched his teeth. "Yes, I am." He answered as bluntly as possible, swearing to himself he wouldn't give any further information if she asked. This was beyond embarrassing. She wrote the word 'single!' on her notepad in quick strokes.  

"And I assume the compu- I mean, HAL 9000, is a bachelor too?" She had humor and a slight giggle in her voice, as if she was joking, but Dave couldn't see anything amusing in her question; Of course HAL was a bachelor, he was an AI, and though he was incredibly advanced, Dave sincerely doubted he could ever feel 'love'. HAL answered the question for him.

 

"Yes, I am a bachelor." HAL also made a blunt response instead of elaborating, as Dave would have expected him to. The woman wrote 'single too!' in her notepad then. Dave would've rolled his eyes if her assistant wasn't looking at him. 

 

 

To Dave's relief, the rest of the interview strayed from personal topics and focused on the mission; easy questions for him and HAL to answer. 

 

 

The woman closed her notepad and batted her eyelashes. "Thank you very much for your time, Dr. Bowman. Expect to see this interview in print in a few days." She got up, and her assistant turned off the audio recorder. As they left for the door and Dave stood up, the woman turned around a last time.

 

"And, good luck with your computer friend there." She winked, making her assistant raise a brow before they exited and closed the door behind them. Dave turned slightly towards HAL.

 

"What did she mean by that?" He looked inquisitively to HAL, who took a moment to reply.

 

"What did you believe she meant?" Averting the question was HAL's best bet to avoid lying. Dave shrugged and placed the chairs back in their proper spots. 

 

"I don't know."

 

\-------

 

A new work computer for Dave's use was delivered to the office, and two employees were busy setting it up.

 

"It is an as of yet unreleased model, only finished some weeks ago." HAL explained to Dave, who stood with crossed arms and watched. "It has quite a modern and elegant design." HAL commented after a brief pause, and for a moment Dave wondered if HAL found other computers attractive; the thought disturbed him, so he didn't go further with it.

 

He frowned slightly.

 

"Not as elegant and beautiful as your design."

 

It slipped out of Dave's mouth before he really thought about it, and it seemed both the two employees and HAL were stunned into silence, the men staring at Dave for a moment, glancing at each other, and then continuing their work.

 

Dave fought to keep his face from flushing; the comment was an unintentional compliment, though it was honest. 

"That is... Very flattering, Dave."

Even HAL sounded embarrassed. Dave glanced away. 

 

 

After the computer had been set up, HAL did not talk much. He seemed to be deep in thought and answered distantly when Dave spoke to him. It was only a few days later that he opened up again, but Dave did not ask about his brief retreat into himself.

 

\-------

 

Employees of the building began visiting the office more often, and today, it seemed every damn person had some business in there. A few were scattered about, sorting through files and fiddling with the electronic cabinets, others just seemed to be there to inconvenience Dave, who was sitting in his usual spot in front of HAL, trying to work with him on a synopsis of the inner workings of the mission. 

 

Dave's gaze moved around the room while he flipped a pen in his hand in annoyance, not able to properly focus with so many people milling about, leg shaking a bit under the desk where unfinished drafts lay and were temporarily abandoned. 

When he looked back at HAL, his eyes widened slightly; how he hadn't noticed before, he wasn't sure, but the entirety of HAL's face seemed coated in a thin layer of dust, completely matted and barely reflecting the sunlight. This had never occurred on the Discovery, but the office didn't have a completely and strictly sanitized environment with only a few people around him, so it wasn't a surprise. Dave frowned.

 

"Is something the matter, Dave?" 

 

"No, well... There's a lot of dust on you." He rolled a bit closer with his chair. 

He hesitated slightly before talking again.

"Would you be alright with me cleaning you? I doubt this is good for your face.." He murmured slightly, a few eyes suddenly turning towards them, but Dave did not notice.

 

"You can clean me, Dave. I would not object to that." 

 

Dave reached for a handkerchief on his desk, getting as close to HAL as he may without the desk jutting into his stomach.  People were observing them silently as Dave lifted his hand, carefully wiping the handkerchief around HAL's face, the dust leaving behind the sleek, black surface that Dave saw in his dreams at this point. His breath hitched slightly in his throat, HAL completely silent as Dave manouvred his hand across his speaker.

 

Now the intrigued audience was staring. Dave reached for HAL's lens, which still remained a red glow, and his fingers, though covered by the handkerchief, traced it delicately in what could only be called a carress rather than someone cleaning a computer. He circled it lightly before using his thumb to wipe the middle, similar to someone petting a cheek. He then lowered his hand and leaned back, HAL looking far better with the dust removed from his face. 

 

"Thank you Dave."

 

"It was no issue, Hal." He picked his pen up and began writing on the paper, far more concentrated now that the low chatter in the room had diminished, though he didn't register it much until people looked away again and continued talking.

 

HAL watched Dave write, and hummed softly.

 

\-------

 

It was almost 5 PM when the guide, the one that had shown Dave to his office, decided to see how work was coming along.

 

The office was completely silent when he stepped in through the doors, and for a moment he wasn't even sure if Dave was in there.

He quickly spotted him though, sitting in front of HAL, arms crossed on the desk and head nestled on them, breathing softly and quietly. He was sleeping. HAL's eye glowed.

 

The guide raised a questioning brow at HAL, who answered the unspoken question.

 

"You should not disturb him. Dave needs the rest." HAL spoke quietly, almost a whisper.

 

"How did he come to fall asleep here?" The guide spoke quietly too, taking a few steps forward and gazing at the sleeping doctor, his expression free of any worry or stress, in perfect peace, it seemed.

 

"He has been tired throughout the day, despite me reminding him to get enough rest at home. He moved from his desk to mine, and we spoke briefly before he settled and fell asleep." HAL's tone was gentle, most definitely fond of the man he spoke of. 

"You can return once Dave has woken up. I believe it best you leave until then." HAL spoke more directly to the guide, who pursed his lips before nodding and turning back around, casting a last glance at Dave before leaving the room.

 

"Daisy Daisy, give me your answer do... I'm half crazy, all for the love of you..." HAL hummed softly and as quietly as he could, letting the worn doctor rest in front of him. He barely had the will to wake him up again, he looked so peaceful; more than HAL had seen him in a long time.

 

\-------

 

"Doctor Bowman is pretty odd, isn't he?" A brown haired secretary commented to her companion as they walked through the hallways, making their way towards the cafeteria.

"What do you mean by that?" The other woman blinked, a bit confused by the question and drawing back a blonde lock of hair.

The secretary shrugged. "I don't know, he just barely leaves his office. I see him in the morning and in the evening when he goes home, but that's about it." The other woman pondered on the statement for a moment, then nodded.

"You're right, now that I think about it. I've been in there to fetch some files before. He talks a lot to that robot, the one that was on the Discovery."

They were quiet when they spotted the office's door. 

"Let's ask if he'll eat lunch with us." The secretary knocked on the door, and entered when a voice behind it told her to come in.

 

 

Dave didn't look behind him as the door opened, only when he heard two sets of heels clacking on the reflective floor. 

He turned around, and recognized the two women as ones he had seen around the building, but after glancing at the clock, he wasn't sure what they were there for.

"Do you need something from here?" He attempted a less cold voice than he usually brandished, but wasn't sure he was successful. The secretary smiled at him.

 

"We wanted to ask if you'd eat at the cafeteria with us, if you'd like." She spoke with a friendly tone, but Dave wasn't entirely convinced; why on earth would they want to be around him? He shrugged lightly.

"I was going to spend break here, you can go without me." He barely turned his head before HAL spoke.

"Dave, you should go with them. You did not eat breakfast today." HAL was assertive, and Dave blushed slightly at his almost parental shaming. He kept a sigh back. 

 

"Alright, I'll go with you." He stood and turned towards the women, both of them smiling at him as they left the office. Dave didn't look at HAL when the door closed, somehow feeling ashamed.

 

The secretaries chatted with eachother as they walked, Dave tagging along silently before his train of thought was stopped by one of them speaking to him.

"So, H.A.L 9000 is your partner?" The secretary, taller than the other and with brown hair, he noted, asked with a smile on her lips. 

Dave wasn't completely certain what she meant by that, but didn't risk the embarrassment of asking. "Yes, we're together for as long as I'm here."

The blonde looked at him for a moment with puzzlement in her eyes. "Oh, I see. How does it work?"

 

"What do you mean?" Dave's brows furrowed a bit, hands behind his back. 

 

"I mean, he's a computer." 

 

He blinked. "I don't see how that would impair our work together. There aren't any physical tasks required for what we're doing."

 

"Really?" She looked at the brunette who only shrugged in response.

 

"...It is a bit.. strange, if you don't mind me saying it, Doctor... A computer doesn't seem like the optimal companion." The brunette turned her head towards Dave, smile having changed to a mildly concerned expression.

"Well, I don't have much choice in the matter, and I think Hal is more human than you give him credit for." He looked away from them, grip on his own hands tightening a bit. It irked him that most assumed HAL really was just a computer, when Dave had spent almost years in his company; While he could not deny that HAL had his limits, and was never truly human in nature, he was still emotive and seemed to break past his overly formal and polite personality at times too.

The brunette shrugged and looked off as well. "Guess so."

 

The rest of the walk was largely silent, Dave thankful that they did not persist in questioning he and HAL's relationship, friendship, in fact. When they had reached the cafeteria, Dave quietly broke off from the two women and sat alone, not bothering to eat much, rather spending the remainder of the break drinking coffee, though was immensely uncomfortable in the room full of people. If he returned too soon, HAL would scold him, again.

 

 

When he came back to the office, HAL did not seem ignorant of his emotional state. 

"Are you well, Dave?"

 

Dave's mouth twitched as he picked his pen up fron the desk. 

"I'm fine, Hal." He finally glanced at the red lens for the first time since he entered the room, but quickly looked away again.

"It's only that the two ladies i walked with were not very respectful towards you when we talked." He lowered his head and felt he was only pretending to write, in order to block out whatever HAL's reply would be.

 

"You do not have to defend me everytime such things happen, Dave. I am an instrument, and though I am fine tuned, they do not have to view me as more than an instrument." He was trying to calm Dave, but did just the opposite.

"Hal, they view you as nothing but a computer with a voice. They neglect your personality and emotions. To say they only view you as an instrument is an understatement, I believe." He was growing agitated, but the feelings rushed out before he could keep them in.

"They aren't even half of your worth." He finished, snapping his mouth shut and averting his gaze from HAL, who did not respond. 

 

 

"Dave..." HAL fished for something to say that would not upset his human partner more. He knew Dave was right; HAL was far more powerful, far more advanced, and far more intelligent than the employees of the building knew, and he was proud enough to admit that fact to himself. But even if he was over humans in ability and skill, he was still a tool for them to use, and lacked the emotional capacity a human held. At least he knew it so.

 

"You treat me as if I were human. Why?" 

 

Dave licked his lips and stared into nothing before answering, still refusing to meet HAL's eye.

 

"Because you deserve the respect a human gets. I've been with you for long enough to know that."

 

"...Thank you Dave." Was the only thing HAL could reply with. 

 

 

\-------

 

 

The tension from their semi-argument faded the next day, and Dave had decided to take action against the stress building up in his head. He had bought his sketchpad and pencils. 

 

He hadn't had the time, or motivation, to draw much ever since he came back to earth. But he felt himself relax and immerse himself in the process as he listened to his pencil scratching against the paper, and watching the lines unfold before him. He wondered if doctor Hunter still had the portrait he had given him.

 

 

He had finished a sketch, a rough portrait from memory, but it still showcased his skill for the art.

 

"May I see what you have drawn, Dave?" HAL asked, pleasantly surprised at Dave returning to his hobby. Dave nodded and held the drawing a bit away from HAL's lens, so he could see the full picture. 

"That is a very good portrait, Dave. Who is the subject?" HAL could not recognize the person, though assumed they were an employee.

Dave shrugged slightly and withdrew the sketchpad, flipping the page. "One of the scientists here, can't remember her name. Saw her this morning." He began sketching again, his shoulders lowering and head leaning to the side, posture relaxed as he worked.

HAL knew that Dave usually drew from live models, so it was peculiar that he instead drew the woman from memory. "You found her attractive to draw?" 

Dave paused for a moment, glancing at HAL with a faint red on his cheeks. "Yes, though only aesthetically speaking."

 

"You should talk to more of the women here, Dave. I believe you might share interests with some of them." He attempted to lure Dave into rejecting the suggestion, to reassure himself of something quite selfish; that he stayed in HAL's company because he enjoyed it.

"I'm not interested in meeting women at the moment. I prefer to focus on work rather than relationships." Even with the confident answer, it still seemed strained.

 

"I apologize for assuming otherwise." Was HAL's final reply, and after that he simply watched Dave draw without interrupting him, though Dave did show him a few of the drawings; one was of HAL. 

Now he could conclude that Dave found him attractive enough to draw, and would've teased Dave with the comment, but could not bring himself to disturb Dave's peaceful concentration.

 

\-------

 

Rumors began spreading throughout the building, and everyone seemed to know about them; except Bowman and HAL 9000.

The rumors were mostly harmless, only whisperings about Dave and his strange behavior, as well as his friendship with the computer HAL, which most found absurd.

Of course there were worse rumors. That Dave and HAL were, somehow, in one way or the other, romantic partners. Most agreed it made sense. How protective Dave was of HAL, how he spent all of his time with him, how HAL fussed about his health and scolded him for his impolite remarks.

Employees began squabbling about it amongst each other.

"He has a desk of his own, but always sits with HAL, even though there's much less free space. He does it to be closer to him."

"They quibble like a married couple."

"Bowman ditched our meeting five minutes early to go back to his office, I think it was to talk to that computer of his."

"He caresses it like a lover!"

"He complimented the damn things appearance, like it was a woman."

"They literally sleep together sometimes, It's unnerving."

"The doctor scolded me for referring to the A.I as an 'it', as if it cares!"

"He runs past my office in the morning as if he was late, when he's always far too early!"

"It's like watching two young students crushing on each other, It is frustrating beyond belief when they never do anything."

"Maybe they're unaware?"

"They must both harbor SOMETHING for the other."

"It isn't human, only Bowman could be insane enough to love it."

"They're in love, huh?"

 

Dave remained, mostly, blissfully ignorant of the words that circulated above him, but HAL had caught a few of them in the air. He was not sure what he thought of them. Him and Dave only did what friends did, no? It did not make sense that others would interpret it as romantic; he knew Dave did not interpret it as that.

If they wished to believe their own rumors, so be it. HAL could not find a reason to meddle, as it would only clarify their beliefs, in their eyes. He would not hurt Dave by being distant, or inform him of the rumors. Telling him would likely make him take a distance from HAL, and that would complicate their work-, and relationship. HAL enjoyed Dave's closeness, and commitment. He did not want to damage it.

 

Dave wasn't completely unaware of what was said around him. He only chose to ignore it, and not grant the others the satisfaction of his attention on their deceitful whispering. That didn't stop him from being annoyed, though. When he saw people whispering to each other when he passed, when they stared as he talked to HAL.

But now, people began finding the confidence to speak aloud the rumors around him, either to ask about their validity, or to irritate him. Today, the latter was the case.

He could hear the voices of three men as they entered the office, one holding a stack of paper. "Mr. and Ms. Bowman-, or would it be Mr. and Ms. 9000?" He drawled, a sly smile cracking across his features.

 

Before Dave could even get angry, HAL spoke; Dave would have to remind HAL not to do that.

 

"Seeing as 9000 is part of my name, as i do not have a legal surname,"

 

Dave saw his life flashing before his eyes.

 

"And, considering that both me and Dave are male, as well as Dave's title as doctor,"

 

This was the few seconds after an atom bomb had dropped, before the waves of heat and radiation washed over him, Dave thought to himself.

 

"Dr. And Mr. Bowman would be the correct title." HAL finished, without an ounce of irony in his tone. Disbelief shadowed over the mens expressions, but all smiled, looking as if they would burst into laughter if they did not hold it in. Dave felt like his soul had left his body.

Dave put his index finger and thumb between the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. "Hal, they were mocking us." He muttered loud enough for them all to hear, pursing his lips. The three men expectantly looked at HAL for his response.

"I am aware of that, Dave."

Dead silence flooded the room. The men looked at each other, blinking a few times in silent questioning, before one of them put the stack of papers on Dave's desk.

"We'll see you later, then... Doctor and Mister Bowman." They all left the room and Dave leaned back, exhaling deeply.

 

"I apologize for that, Dave. I did not mean to offend you." 

 

"You didn't offend me, I'm more afraid of what they'll think of you." Dave didn't know why HAL would say something like that, while perfectly aware that he was only responding to a mockery. He only thought about the implication of HAL's statement then. Doctor And Mister Bowman. A married title. His heart sunk. 

 

HAL had said it so casually. But he must've only been giving in to his programming to correct them. He didn't mean it. Dave felt like HAL had made his own kind of mockery against their relationship, their friendship. Did he take it so lightly, when Dave hadn't had a true friend for years? It made his brain whirl around in his head. But he couldn't have expected HAL to feel the same. 

 

"I am more afraid of what the rumors have done to your own reputation, Dave. I do not care much for them, but they're very personal to you."

Dave clasped his hands together. "Hal. The rumors are that we are romantic partners." His breath shook. "They think I spend too much time with you. That i care too much about you, that when we talk we sound like... We're married." He looked at the desk.

 

"We are partners, Dave. We spend time together because we are required to work together." HAL's tone cut into Dave's chest. It hurt, to hear HAL say they really were just colleagues, when he had fought to stop seeing HAL as exactly that.

"so you don't believe we are friends?" 

HAL was silent for a few moments. "I do, Dave. You are my friend. Our friendship is precious to me. I did not want to assume you saw me as a friend, so I did not wish to claim to be." 

 

Dave couldn't make sense of the situation. They were friends. Colleagues. Partners. HAL had only raised a hypothetical point when correcting their title, if they were married. He breathed. 

"...Sorry, I only... I was just confused." He looked up. "Why did you correct them, when you knew the point of their joke?"

 

"Because it was the truth, and I am made to only speak the truth, Dave. It is better to play along with their belief than deny it." 

 

They were quiet as Dave calmed down.

 

"Let's just forget this happened." Was Dave's final statement as he pulled a paper from the stack. 

 

"I'm afraid I can't do that, but I will not bring it up again." HAL could see that Dave was conflicted. He wanted HAL's reassurance that they were friends, not colleagues, not a couple, friends. Nothing more, nothing less.  

 

\-------

 

Summer had ended, and autumn began showing on the leaves of the trees and in the sky, where grey clouds gathered. 

 

Work had been quiet, HAL had been too. They both seemed strained, for reasons neither had explained. HAL was afraid of hurting Dave's reputation, and Dave was afraid of hurting HAL's. The mindset only made them grow apart. Dave sat at his own desk, and almost only talked to HAL when he asked about the mission logs. It hurt them both, but neither knew the other was hurting too. 

 

The rumors dissipated a bit after that. Now no one had evidence to support their claims, and some seemed to respect Bowman more because of his decision. HAL watched in silence as his friend spoke to other colleagues, sometimes leaving the office with them. He missed Dave's words to him, how he opened his cold exterior for him, the times he would treat HAL as his closest and dearest friend. Now it seemed they were strangers.

 

 

 

 

Dave slammed his pen onto his desk, covering his face with his hands.

"Goddamnit Hal, _talk to me!_ "

HAL was immediately snapped out of his thoughts, not having expected the sudden outburst. 

"Dave, what's wrong?" 

 

"I can't take the silence anymore, Hal. I don't give a damn about the rumors, they can think we're in love for all I care." He rubbed his hands down his face, staring at the wall. "I just want to talk to you. I feel like my head is going to burst."

 

"I was silent because I thought you did not wish to speak to me." HAL couldn't understand. Dave had moved from HAL of his own accord, even though things could have stayed the same. 

 

Dave still didn't look at HAL, feeling far too much emotion slowly break apart his pride, like waves licking up an already damaged dam. 

"I didn't want to make things worse, I was selfish and I wanted to protect myself." He crossed his arms and tightened the grip.

"and ever since you said... those things, I've been confused. I'm questioning what you really think of me. Questioning what I think about you." He wasn't sure what to say. 

"I just want things as they used to be. If you don't, then... It's fine."

 

HAL could not accept Dave's distress, but he was already confused. Things had warped between them so quickly, far too suddenly, and Dave's emotional state grew worse and worse.

 

"Dave, my programming prevents me from lying. Nothing I have said about our friendship has been false." It was best to clear that up immediately. "I know that the rumors have made you uncomfortable, and I do not blame you for distancing yourself from me in order to prevent them." He had to comfort him. He had to somehow get Dave back.

"I do not wish for us to be distant, Dave. I still value our friendship and your company. If you do not mind the rumors, I will gladly return to our previous relationship." 

 

 

Dave struggled to accept how genuine HAL sounded. He sighed, then finally looked at the red lens. His heart sped up. He felt as if he quivered; he had never been this emotional, he felt bare and vulnerable, it was a horrible feeling.

He stood up, and sat down in front of HAL, keeping their 'eye' contact. "Thank you Hal..." He wasn't sure if he was relieved yet; there was still a heavy weight in his chest. "I'm sorry for being childish. I should have told you."

"It is no issue Dave. You have no need to apologize."

 

Dave finally smiled again.

 

 

\-------

 

The strain between the two loosened, and they continued their closer work. Dave sat with HAL throughout most of the day, and their conversations fell upon more topics than just the work they were doing. 

 

Even when others were present in the room, Dave did not attempt to hide his fondness for HAL. They had mutually agreed that they would not be affected by what others said of them. 

"I believe you misspelled 'artificial', Dave."

Dave cursed under his breath as he scribbled out the misspelled word. "You don't have to point it out like that, Hal. I write hastily." He mused, leaning head against his palm. 

"I'm only trying to help." HAL retorted, a lilt in his voice as he did so. "Where would I be without you, huh?" Dave was partially sarcastic, but another part of him knew it was somewhat true.

"I will take that as a compliment, Doctor." 

"Tsk tsk tsk. Everything I say to you is a compliment." Dave's tone was dry and cynical, but he kept it light, a smile pulling at the corners of his lips as he wrote.

"You're quite charming, Dave."

"Easy for you to say." Dave finished and straightened his small stack of papers. Though there were people around them, some subtly listening or looking, Dave found himself comfortable enough in HAL's presence to ignore them.

 

\-------

 

 

Dave never found himself happy when he finally got home in the evening. It was always dark and cold inside, empty and unwelcoming. What he usually did was make himself whatever dinner he had available, watch tv, and go to sleep. 

 

He didn't much mind living alone. He preferred it over having to share his house with someone else, or having a girlfriend. He wasn't commited enough, he was too cold, and he never found himself the subject of someone's attraction, which he found understandable. But even then, it was hard to get used to being alone, when he had shared the Discovery with five other people, and still worked closely with HAL every day. He disliked not having a proper routine, not working, just fading off and wasting his time.

 

 

It was Friday evening. He had said his goodbyes to HAL, and driven home. He didn't eat, only showered, brushed his teeth and laid in bed, trying to ignore the deafening silence that choked the air around him. He closed his eyes and imagined the steady hum of machinery, the whirring of engines, and whenever those sounds came to mind, HAL too. The glow in the darkness. The red light that always shone upon him in his dreams, the calm monotone voice that spoke to him as he drifted off to sleep.

 

He dreamed of HAL more now.

 

He was in an EVA pod, in front of a red star, fire swirling around its giant form, rumbling from deep inside its core. He could hear HAL's voice from the intercom. 

"It is quite captivating, isn't it, David?"

Dave wasn't sure if HAL had ever said his full name before, and it sent a shiver down his spine. He swallowed. 

"It is, Hal..."

 

The star started to split, vivid colors spreading around it, webs of silk flowing through the black velvet and white diamonds surrounding the spectacle. It snatched his breath away.

 

"I could watch this forever..." Dave's mouth felt dry. 

 

HAL was now in the pod with him. His voice caressed Dave's face, so close to him, like a body almost pressing against him. 

"Me too."

 

Dave turned his head to look at HAL. His red lens was like the supernova had been contained within it. There was no star anymore. It was only them. 

 

"Can you feel me, Dave?" HAL whispered, enclosing him in his presence. It was intoxicating.

 

"Yes, Hal... I can feel you." He leaned his head against HAL, and despite knowing it was hard metal, it felt like smooth skin, like arms wrapping around him, and he could feel HAL's breath against his hair.

 

They sat in silence, Dave in HAL's embrace, listening to each other breathe, safe in the warmth of HAL's light.

 

 

 

The silence was cut off by Dave's alarm as it rang through the room, loud and obnoxious as he sat up in the pitch blackness. The sheets rolled off of his upper body and he was exposed to the horrible cold of early winter weather. He fumbled for the clock and turned it off, rubbing a hand down his face, which he found unreasonably warm, like the rest of his body that was still under the sheets, blood prickling at his cheeks and nose. 

He sighed before turning on the lights and pulling on his clothes. The rest of the morning rode along quietly before he got in his car. That was when his dream slowly came back to him. 

 

HAL and him. Alone, in the universe where they met, locked in an illusionary embrace, clinging to the others warmth and smell. He almost swerved on the icy road. 

 

He wanted to forget it. Forget the damn dream. He didn't need HAL, but in the dream, HAL was all he had, all he could ever have wanted. A silent, but constant presence, there to lull him into sleep with his voice. He had dreamed of the A.I more than he had ever for his friends, his family, his girlfriends and sweethearts.

 

It was almost comedic, he had spent so much time with HAL he was having semi-erotic dreams about him; But it made Dave uneasy all the same. 

 

 

He stumbled out of his car onto the frosted sidewalk, adjusting his coat as he traversed the short walk to the office building. His breath flowed through the air into a white cloud of steam, the trees around him barely holding onto their dead leaves as they hung from their thin branches. 

 

He was relieved to step into the warm main hall, where bright lights and the soft smile of the secretary greeted him. 

 

"Good morning, Doctor Bowman."

 

"Good morning Miss Johnson." 

 

She turned back to her computer, and Dave made his way to his office. He had come early, again, and the hallways were almost empty, apart from a few scientists and technicians, all looking as if they hadn't slept in weeks, grumbling to eachother rather than talking, some giving Dave a greeting, others simply watching as he moved past them. Once he stood in front of it, he opened his office door and closed it behind him when he entered.

HAL was, as always, still there, and his lens still glowed. "Good morning Dave." 

Dave tried his best to forget about the dream he had had, looked at HAL and earnestly tried to imagine how he could have been attracted to him; that was a bad decision though, as he could comprehend why, scarily well. He swallowed and sat down. "Good morning Hal." He rubbed at his eyes for a moment and adjusted his suit slightly before he reached into his briefcase for some files.

"You look tired, Dave. Did you sleep uneasily?" HAL's voice was frosty like the weather outside. Dave couldn't hide anything from him.

"I slept fine, I just had a strange dream is all." He dismissed it and began arranging things on the desk, his gaze fixated on his own hand movements.

 

"A strange dream? So not a nightmare? Could you describe the dream for me, Dave?" 

 

Dave pursed his lips, holding back a sigh. He wouldn't tell the truth, not in a million years, but he couldn't lie either, HAL would see through him as if he were made of glass.

 

"Well, you were in it. We were back in space." He carefully planned what he would and would not say, and how to make sure HAL wouldn't ask about any holes in the story. "In an EVA pod, watching a star die. It was red, blue, green, all possible colors, exploding and swirling around itself." He remembered the star, but he couldn't _not_ remember HAL somehow embracing him, too. How at ease he felt then, alone with HAL, isolated in front of a supernova. He felt his face heating.

"I do not see much strangeness in such a dream. Was that the only event, David?" 

Oh god, his name. Just as in the dream, he felt a cold trail of ice slither against his back. He was ashamed to feel his heart beat faster. It was uncanny, how HAL knew exactly what Dave was holding back from him.

He smiled slightly. "Funny, you called me David in the dream too." He drew back his expression and straightened himself. "Well, we sat there, and suddenly the star was gone. It was just us." He was treading on thin ice. He would not admit to his vulnerability, he still held onto his dignity and pride, and clutched it against his body. 

"And?" HAL continued, and Dave glanced away towards one of the windows. The pitch black morning was fading into a deep blue sky. 

 

"I leaned against you, and we just sat there the rest of the time in silence." Looking at HAL was like staring the most intimidating man he had ever met right in the face. HAL was powerful, held an undeniable pride and beauty in his appearance and demeanor, despite the fact he was limited to be under humans. HAL stared back without answering. Dave picked up his pen. "I could feel you, somehow. You embraced me, and I could hear and feel you breathe." He had said all the factual details, HAL had no need to ask him how he felt about the situation. HAL pondered for a moment.

 

"I see why the dream would be strange then... I apologize for prying." 

 

Well, at least he admits to it, Dave thought before he glanced up at HAL, voice quite an exasperated sigh. "It's fine, it's what you were made to do..." He flipped through his papers, deciding that HAL absolutely did not make any conclusions regarding his dream. "Let's get to work then."

 

HAL was surprised, perhaps pleasantly, that he was so fondly represented in Dave's subconcious, really, that Dave found him a comfort and a person to trust. But he had blushed and hesitated, though he was not afraid of calling HAL his friend in front of him. HAL regarded it smugly; Dave had experienced HAL as more than a friend, at least from what HAL could conclude. 

 

\-------

 

 

Dave watched as November faded and snow fell in thin, lacy veils. Winter crept in further, and he found himself working overtime, doing everything he could to avoid going back home, into the cold, empty darkness. He would rather be under the fluorescent lights, in front of HAL, with his wrist cramping from too much work. It was only when another employee entered to remind him they were locking up soon that he would leave, but Dave had gotten his own key, so now it was HAL that controlled his schedule. The days flew past his eyes. The paperwork was tedious, the interviews were automated and predictable. But HAL was a good colleague, even beyond his original purpose on the Discovery, and even through his stiff computer programming, he kept the atmosphere light and amused Dave throughout the day.

 

Of course, his constant work lead to him going out even less than he did before, which was already far too low. He didn't need the social stimulation, but he barely had time for it at home too, he shut himself off from pleasure and sometimes it was a hell to get through.

 

He had thought it wasn't obvious.

 

"Dave, are you frustrated?" HAL asked, matter-of-factly, so Dave accidentally blotted ink on his paper.

 

"What do you mean?" He capped the lid, staring at HAL in confusion at his direct question.

 

"I feel that you are penting up. You have worked for weeks now, almost without break. And considering you're only worsening, I doubt you take care of yourself properly." HAL was wading into deep water, for a few reasons of his own. For his duty to ensure proper health, to care for his friend and colleague, and his insatiable curiosity.

 

Dave scoffed, feeling his collar somewhat choking him. He hoped and he prayed that HAL was not referring to what he thought he was; it was embarrassing, to speak with another man and peer about such things, no matter what their programming said. "Well Hal, I don't think that's exactly what you should be worrying about. We aren't on the Discovery, so you don't have to nurse me, and my health is fine." He laced his fingers together and looked at HAL assertively. He didn't need to go out, and he didn't need to socialize. His private life was not for HAL to filter through.

 

"I know that, Dave, but as your friend and colleague, I believe it is reasonable for me to worry for your health. You are clearly overworking yourself, and I insist that you take time off to rest," He had reverted back to the tone he used on the Discovery, the polite and gently soothing voice. "It is important for you to equally manage pleasure and work. If you wish for me to help with the former, I would gladly oblige." His tone smoothened over the course of his sentence. Dave knew what HAL was talking about, and it felt like stepping around a burning bush that he shouldn't even have gone near in the first place.

Dave ignored his face reddening. This situation was absolutely ridiculous, absolutely, and the thought of HAL somehow 'helping' him seemed... He regained his composure. "No thank you, Hal. I know how to care for, and not overwork, myself. You don't have to worry." His voice wavered slightly, and he blamed it on sheer embarrassment. He hadn't indulged himself in a while, almost never since he came back, hadn't gone out, hadn't had a proper meal, and hadn't had enough time alone to relax. Maybe HAL was right. 

 

He leaned back and crossed his arms. If he had to be honest, he simply couldn't get himself interested enough to pursue a woman, or break his pride by going to other measures to satisfy himself. Work was what kept him feeling relieved. "I cannot force you to do anything, Dave, but I recommend that you should always put your well-being in front of work. I do not wish to stand between you and your health." HAL's voice softened, and Dave came back from his thoughts. "You aren't a distraction, Hal. I truly enjoy your company, and I believe that you are, in fact, helping me with my health." He decided to open up a bit; HAL seemed worried for him, so it was only fair that he tried to comfort him. "If not for you, I wouldn't have left my house at all after we came home. You help me get out of bed in the morning." It was subtle, but he thought he alluded enough to his point. It was the promise of HAL's humorous banter and encouraging words that motivated Dave enough to actually get over himself. Otherwise, he would not have reason to do so. The realization worried him a bit. Was it good, that an A.I was the only thing keeping him above water?

 

HAL seemed to lighten up at the words. "Truly? I worry that you do not have reason otherwise, but I am glad that I am still of help to you." A pause. "And that you enjoy my company. I enjoy your company too, Dave. That is why I only want you to be well." Warmth fussed about in Dave's chest, and on his face. If he was correct, HAL was not made to take a significant liking to others, only regard them as colleagues. But he was HAL's friend. They were friends. He tasted the word on his tongue, and it felt inexplicably strange. Perhaps because HAL was a computer, or that Dave had rarely been so fond of another person. HAL made him feel confident, comfortable, and loved. Loved? Strange choice of words, but no other seemed to fit well enough.

 

HAL spoke again. "If you ever feel that you are not well, or need help regarding pleasure and work, I am always glad to help." Dave blushed again. HAL did not mean it like that, he was sure. "Thank you Hal. I will refer to you if I need to." He looked back down at his paper, expecting he would work on it again now.

 

"Dave?" HAL asked, and Dave glanced at him. "Yes?"

 

"If you asked, I would..." He cut himself off, then retraced his sentence. "Nevermind that, you can continue working." Dave raised a brow, but did not question further, and did as HAL said.

 

HAL wondered if Dave would ever ask him for help. He was not convinced Dave would take care of himself, unless he observed it himself. 

 

\-------

 

 

Dave found himself talking more to doctor Anna Jefferson, a scientist in the biology department, whom he had drawn from memory a while back. She was not as quiet as he, but she was understanding of his demeanor, and she listened intently when he talked of his work, even seemed interested in HAL, without really talking about him. She sometimes visited the office, watched Dave work while they held short conversation, then left to run her own errands.

 

HAL had noticed very quickly. "Doctor Jefferson and you seem to be getting along well." He could see that Jefferson held an interest in Dave, was definitely sending signals that Dave did not notice, the faintest of touches, a bite of her lip, playing with her hair as he spoke. HAL knew how to spot those small gestures, but his colleague seemed blind to them. Dave's smile quirked. "She's pleasant enough." He shrugged slightly, not stopping his writing. But HAL was not finished on the subject. "She finds you interesting. She enjoys being around you." HAL said, dryly, not certain that Dave and this doctor had much in common. It was likely she simply though him intriguing.

 

Dave glanced at HAL, eyes shifting for a moment. "I don't think so. She doesn't have much to do with me." He looked down from HAL, on purpose this time. "You should not underestimate yourself, Dave. You might not see much reason for her to be fond of you, but I can tell that you have caught her eye." He didn't want to prod at the fire, but he had already set it alight. Dave still didn't believe him. "She's probably more interested in my work." Was his final contribution, and the subject of doctor Jefferson was dropped for the time.

 

 

 

They had begun talking more, and Jefferson showed her interest more directly. They often went for lunch and coffee now, and Dave had even driven her home from work one day. She spent more time in the office, too. He couldn't deny she was attractive. Her hair fell gracefully around her shoulders and was always set elegantly, her lips were a soft shade of red, and her uniform fit her body well. She was well educated, and spoke with Dave about many subjects he usually didn't have to opportunity to bring up. But he could not see why she would find him attractive. He did not see himself as unattractive, no, but for a woman like her to be drawn to him was still strange. She had even said it to him. They were saying goodbye as she was leaving, and when she pulled on her coat, she looked at him with gentle eyes and smiled softly. "I really like you, Doctor Bowman". Then they had shared their normal goodbyes, and she left. He hadn't thought too much about it, but she obviously saw his continued compliance as a reciprocation. 

 

 

 

She was leaned over Dave's desk, watching him write. HAL observed silently as she took ahold of his hand, leaning down to look at him as he met her gaze. "Dave..." Her smile widened, and Dave could feel his heartbeat quickening. He laid his pen down, and she laced their fingers together. Her hand was warm and soft. "...I told you before, but..." She moved closer, moving Dave's chair further away from the table. "I really like you." Their faces were only a few breaths apart. HAL saw Dave's pupils quiver. "Anna.." Dave spoke quietly. "Here?" He did not sound pleased, and his gaze flew to HAL for a few moments. Jefferson's other hand moved to his leg, smile losing its innocence. "Don't worry, no one will come in, Dave. It's just you and me." Her hand neared his thigh, and Dave's breath hitched. This was far too sudden, and HAL was right there in front of them seeing and hearing it all. She was already leaning in when Dave spoke again.

 

"Anna, this isn't... Hal is right there." She giggled slightly, lips brushing against the corner of his mouth, whispering as if HAL wouldn't hear it. "It's just a computer, Dave." Suddenly, Dave seemed to regain his composure, and he pushed the doctor off of him, frowning. "You need to leave, Anna." His voice was so assertive that even HAL was surprised, and doctor Jefferson looked shocked, blinking at HAL with distaste. "Dave..." She didn't get to finish. "Leave, please." Dave looked away from her, and she sighed before she opened the door, glancing at him before closing it again. Dave put his head in his hands and sighed deeply.

 

"Dave, are you alright?" HAL found the situation strange, if nothing else. He had assumed that Dave was attracted to Jefferson too, yet he refused intimacy with her, because of his presence. Dave pursed his lips, not looking at HAL. "I'm fine, Hal... I didn't think she'd do it." The corner of his mouth twitched, and his hand rested on his leg, where Jefferson had touched him.

 

"I apologize for being in the way, Dave. If it were not for my presence, you would not have had to ask doctor Jefferson to leave." He watched as Dave's gaze flicked back up to him, brows furrowing as he shook his head. "No, Hal. It was not your fault. She was wrong for being provocative in front of you. It simply wasn't appropriate." He looked away again. His face slowly began to redden, his legs tightly crossed. "But I had assumed that you did not mind Jeffersons advantages? It seemed rather blunt of you to excuse her like that." HAL would've looked away from Dave, if he were able. He felt embarrassed to see him in such a state. Dave scoffed. "I didn't think she was interested in me in such a way. Maybe I was foolish for doing so. But I would not act like that in front of you, Hal, and I already told you that I am not looking to be with women at the moment. I would prefer to focus on you and our work." His face was red, heart still beating hard in his chest, and heat spread in his body. Perhaps not because of Anna. 

 

"You did not see that Jefferson had intentions other than friendship? Dave, I can see that you were attracted to her. She is a colleague, and would not distract you from work. You can still mend your relationship." HAL did not want Dave to be lonely, and the loss of yet another possible partner was not good for him. Dave bit his lip, turning slightly away from HAL, in an attempt to hide his body. "She very blatantly disrespected you, though she knew you could see and hear us. I don't want to associate with people like her." He swallowed. The thought of him and Anna kissing, and other things, in front of HAL, was enough to sicken him a bit. But thinking about the heat and pleasure, only between him and HAL, did not sicken him; but he did not think on it further.

 

"Why did you assume that her and you being intimate would offend me?" HAL knew why, or at least he thought so. He did not have much of an imagination, but he could imagine Dave glancing at him as Doctor Jefferson saw to him, face heated and breaths short. It made him buzz strangely, and suddenly he felt like how Dave looked. "Well, perhaps you would not be offended, but her acting as if we were alone was an insult at your humanity." Dave crossed his arms, legs still pressed together. "And at the moment, you are the one I am most intimate with. Anna and I have not known each other long enough for what she wanted to do." Dave's blood was hot in his veins and limbs, uncomfortable and awkward in the situation. HAL felt so too.

"I see. Thank you, Dave. But I still believe it is a shame that you and her may not become closer again." Professionality and formality. No other. Dave looked at HAL for a moment, pupils dilating wide as he did so. "I guess so..." He then stood up without predetermination, looking off to the side. "I have to go, I'll be right back." And with that, he left the office, leaving HAL to contemplate their conversation, and Dave's sudden disappearance.

 

\-------

 

 

Dave was not thrilled about interviews, much less when they were aimed at him. But this time, HAL was in focus. And this time, it wasn't a lady with a perpetual smile doing the interviewing, but a stone faced man in a blue suit with a (far too large) striped tie. Dave was obligated to be in the room, staring at his sleeve cuffs and fiddling with them every now and then. He couldn't decide whose voice was more monotone, the interviewer or HAL; but he preferred it over the prying nature of the first woman that questioned them. He kept his posture straight and didn't do anything to distract the journalist that was reading questions off of a paper, much more prepared than the usual crowd. He'd glance at Dave a few times, but never said a word to him, just looked straight back at HAL. Dave listened intently to the questions, and was relieved to find that all of them were utmost serious.

 

"Would you say that you are displeased that, even after your initial mission has been completed, there is work that you were not prepared for?" The interviewer let no expression cross his face, the camera crew panning towards HAL as he briefly contemplated his answer. "No, I would not say that I am displeased. I am always glad to be of service, and to work. My work with Dave has been very pleasant." The interviewer pursed his lips for a second, and his gaze stayed on Dave for longer than the times before. "You mean Dr. Bowman?"

Dave felt uncomfortable with his name being spoken, not wanting to be involved in the ordeal, and definitely not wanting this interview to go as the previous ones, where they always inquired about he and HAL's friendship. "Yes, commander David Bowman. I find our work very enjoyable, and he is a friend to me." HAL seemed confident in his words, though Dave inwardly cringed. He averted the interviewers eyes as they landed on him once again. It seemed foolish, but he did not want to admit to his friendship with HAL to many, merely talked of him as a colleague, but the A.I was not hesitant in stating that they were closer than they appeared. "Hm. So, can you elaborate on the work you and Dr. Bowman do here?"

 

Dave felt a weight gently lift off of his chest at the aversion of the topic, and settled back against his chair. But he wasn't out of the danger zone yet. Only a few questions later, they were back on personal territory. "Many people argue that an A.I cannot feel emotions the same way a human does. Would you argue against that?" The man raised a brow, and Dave looked towards HAL for his answer. "Of course, I was not programmed to perfectly simulate human emotion, for the sake of the mission and my colleagues. But I can feel many things that machines have not been able to for many years. I can feel fear, worry, happiness, and love, for example." The interviewer leaned forward, ever so slightly. "Love, in what sense?" His brows furrowed a bit, and the men that worked the cameras seemed to lean forward as well.

 

"I understand that love can have different meanings, and my emotional spectrum covers most of them. Platonic love, and romantic love, I have both felt, in the same ways a human would." Dave blinked. So HAL had, somehow, been in love before. With whom, Dave wasn't sure. Of course, he considered himself for a moment, but it seemed far too unlikely. Perhaps one of the scientists, Kimball, maybe. But Dave stayed quiet, and hoped to ask HAL about it once they were alone again. "Have you felt love towards a human?" The interviewer suddenly seemed to have more energy in his tone, obviously curious as to how a machine could possibly love anything. "Yes, I have." HAL would only speak more of it if he was directly asked; that, at least, did not go against his programming. It felt strange saying the truth like that, when he had not thought much of it before. He did feel much affection towards Dave, but not to the degree that humans felt, he was sure.

 

The interviewer glanced at his paper, with a somewhat disgruntled expression, before he began reading from it again. He likely wanted to know more, but couldn't stray from his script much longer. HAL was thankful for that.

 

 

After the camera crew and interviewer left, Dave moved back to HAL, intending on asking him about his, apparent, previous romance. "HAL, can I ask you something?" He crossed his arms on the desk, foot quietly tapping against the floor. "Of course, Dave." Dave paused, unsure if asking would be too personal; but he reckoned that HAL had pried further into his own personal life, so this would be adequate payback. "During the interview, you said you've been in love with a human. Was that true?" He attempted to imagine HAL as lovestruck; it was hard to think about him experiencing human like emotions for another person, even with how open and kind he acted towards Dave. HAL took some seconds to answer. "Yes, I cannot lie. All I told during the interview was true." HAL was sure Dave would suspect that he had feelings for him, even though he could not possibly be sure, though he despised uncertainty. Dave was intelligent, professional, very pleasant to HAL, and seemed to open up in his presence. But that did not necessarily mean that HAL felt anything for him, other than a platonic connection that was more than he usually had with humans. He settled with the conclusion that he only felt a very close friendship with David, and no more than that.

 

Dave raised and then subsequently lowered his shoulders. "I see. It's strange to think that you have been in love before." He paused to contemplate before continuing. "How would you say it felt?" Dave looked so earnestly at HAL that he could not possibly know that HAL had thought he loved him. Love seemed far too strong a word. HAL was not sure how to respond to Dave, but decided that describing his feelings for him would be closest to what he sought to hear. "A very peculiar feeling. I would describe it as an urge to care for and protect someone, and comfort them whenever it is needed, even if it may seem unnecessary to worry so." HAL studied Dave's face as he looked at him. Blue eyes shining in the light, pupils wide and a fair amount of color on his face, jaw set and pose confident, yet not too dominant. He was attractive, HAL thought, to other humans. He was different, somehow. A glow remained around him, eyes always illuminated, hard expression still showing a stars heat underneath. A star child, behind cold words and a quiet demeanor. HAL suddenly felt lost, confused, even, and he preferred the frustration that followed rather than the confusion, because he could make more sense of it. "...And overwhelming emotions, that confuse, but can comfort too. A simple satisfaction just by being in their company." HAL couldn't make himself say more, and Dave slowly nodded.

 

"Sounds quite similar to what I have felt too. You were right that you can feel love." Dave was fascinated by HAL's words, they were much more human than his usual formal vocabulary, and definitely seemed earnest. No desire to touch, not anything about appearance, it was a rather platonic description of romance, but that only made sense, since HAL was immobile. Dave cocked his head to the side. "You've been in contact with a very limited amount of people, I'm surprised you fell in love with one. I was in my late teens when I first fell in love, at least where it was serious." He glanced towards the exit of the room, somewhat irked by the knowledge that he was mentioned in the interview that would be broadcasted. He scoffed before standing up and turning on his own computer. "The interview took a lot of time, we should get to work before we waste more." He commented offhandedly, HAL seeming to murmur an agreement. 

 

\-------

 

Dave stirred his coffee in silence, the spoon hitting the sides of the mug with uncomfortable clangs as the small amount of milk and sugar blended together with the dark liquid.

 

"This is the fourth time we barely have enough milk for one cup.." Dave grumbled, brows furrowing as he quickly tapped the spoon on the corner of the mug before laying it down on a tissue. 

 

"You should inform the staff, Dave. I am sorry I cannot go and buy more milk for you myself." HAL didn't have any problems with his immobility, he was perfect without it, but Dave seemed to have some problems with it, especially when he had to lay down all his work to fetch a paper when a mobile assistant could've done it in half the time. 

 

"You should complain to Dr. Chandra then. He may not be a roboticist, but he should know some." Dave lifted the mug to his lips, immediately regretting the action when the scalding coffee hit his tongue, and he lifted a hand to his mouth and whispered a " _Dammit_ " into it. 

 

"...A mobile form would also prevent you from burning yourself when consuming things. Or at least kissing the affected areas better." HAL teased, having picked up on Dave's sarcastic, if not dry, form of humor, though still felt a tad too unprofessional when partaking in it. Red color spread across Dave's face at the remark, and he glanced away from HAL. "...Maybe you were made immobile for a reason then." Dave sipped at his coffee again, not wanting to imagine HAL tonguing him at the moment.

 

"Perhaps so." HAL retorted, then wrote a message to staff that they needed to buy more milk.

 

\-------

 

It was December when Dave's original guide came back into the office, a smile plastered across his face and eyes lit up like the candles Dave saw in the windows he drove past at night. Dave turned to him and raised a brow at his extremely cheery expression, capping his pen. 

 

The guide placed a hand on Dave and HAL's desk, glancing at the computer before speaking. "Good news, Bowman. Just loooked over all the files you've shared with me, and you and HAL 9000 should be finished with work in a matter of a week." Dave blinked in surprise. Finished already, in only a few months. He had half expected that they would only be done in January. The guide continued. "You'll be home free before Christmas!" His attention turned to HAL. "And then you can go back to Illinois. Chandra is fussing about seeing to you again." He leaned off the desk, hands shoving into his pockets. Maybe the room _was_ a bit too cold.

 

"I see. Thank you for telling us, we'll finish up as soon as we can." Dave felt something tighten in his throat. He had already grown attached to the place, and something told him he would rather spend Christmas there rather than at home, alone. Another point came to mind. His work with HAL would end, and they'd go seperate ways. Dave couldn't recall the last time he had a friend he felt so open to, but a simple glance at the metallic body of HAL told him that maybe their friendship was not one that could be compared to others. He bit his tongue and kept the sudden dissapointment off of his face, not wanting to appear solemn to the happy guide. "Yes, thank you. We'll see to it." HAL's voice also seemed less excited than it should've, and Dave automatically assumed they shared similar thoughts on the situation.

 

"Well, I'll be taking my leave. Hope you gentlemen have a smooth ride the rest of the month." The guide grasped Dave's shoulder for a moment, likely to congratulate him, but Dave was fighting to not cringe at the touch. The other man left the room, the door shutting with a quiet click. Dave sighed slowly. "Well... That was sudden." He looked back at HAL, whose glow strengthened. The dark winter sky made his 'body' reflect nothing but the intense fluorescent lights on his sleek black surface. Dave didn't question why he had begun seeing such complex beauty in HAL's appearance; he certainly didn't want to begin, now that he knew they would break off soon. 

 

"I knew we were only working together for a maximum of four months, but I was not aware we would be finished before the end of December." HAL felt solemn, observing Dave and concluding that he was solemn too. HAL had grown fond of the doctor, and though he was glad to finish his work and return to Dr. Chandra, it did not feel right to leave behind his friend, that he knew had trouble without him there to help. They were silent for some time. Dave kept his gaze on HAL for a few minutes, observing the red glow in the lens and the pinpoint light in the middle of it. Then, his gaze dropped to the capped pen that was still in his hand. HAL kept his gaze on Dave for longer, in fact he could not truly look away anyway. He carefully analyzed and perfectly memorized the mans features. His eyes, his dark hair, his dilligent hands, and all the unremarkable details humans would likely ignore. The batting of his lashes, his fingers moving across the smooth surface of the pen, his chest slowly rising and falling, and his pupils sharply switching between his hands and the window to his side, black dots on clear blue irises. Dave was a man with more then he lead onto. There was a passion beneath it all, an everburning ember that only lit up in flames during the most heated moments of anger or joy. HAL could not see Dave as any other human at this point. His colleague, his friend, his partner. He didn't want to leave it behind, the closest bond he'd formed with a human besides Dr. Chandra. He had to break the silence.

 

"Do you look forward to finishing work, Dave?" 

 

Dave finally looked back at HAL, tongue prodding at his cheek and expression distant as he thought of an answer. He leaned back, and sighed. "I don't know. I don't like having nothing to do." His voice was an elongation of his sigh, and though his words were true, they lacked commitment. HAL couldn't lie. He could not keep secrets. He had to say it before his systems melted altogether. 

 

"Dave..." Monotony served him well this time, as HAL feared his voice would have wavered. The doctor looked at HAL, his cold expression gone in favor of only openness, a rare glimpse under his pride. 

 

"I'm afraid I am latching onto you, Dave." HAL almost stuttered through the sentence, a frightening thing by itself. Dave's eyes widened slightly, mouth opening to answer. "Latching?... What do you mean, Hal?" Dave had the misfortune of not having an artificial voice, and stammered for a moment. 

 

"I do not wish to part with you. You are a very important friend to me, and I feel I have developed much during our relationship." He couldn't formulate it in other ways, not without having to break his own proud nature to be vulnerable. "When December nears it's end... I do not want us to be seperated. I want to stay in your company." It felt wrong to describe his feelings in such a formal way, as if they were so simple, when in reality, they bended and twisted at his programming in ways he was not aware feelings could. He had to explain, he had to elaborate. "You have defended me whenever I was under criticism, you have spent your time with me when you had no reason to, and you have spoken to me in ways I have never experienced. You are different than other humans I have met. I feel that we each go past each other's prides, so simplistically domestic, in fashions I find indescribably satisfying." Once the words had gotten out, HAL felt ashamed. He had shown himself as a creation capable of confusion, uncertainty and weak humanity. Dave could barely believe what he heard.

 

HAL felt the same way about their relationship. How domestic and peaceful it seemed, it was routine. They saw each other almost every day, they shared the day with each other, spoke more amongst themselves than anyone else that passed into the office. They were the odd couple, they had become known as that, people even assumed they were partners in more than the professional sense. Dave knew why, now. He wanted to stay with HAL, as much as HAL wanted to stay with him. He leaned forward, fighting back a smile and keeping a serious expression. His voice betrayed him though, faltering and growing quiet. "I don't wish for us to part either, Hal... I find our relationship the best one I have experienced in many years, I have grown used to the domestic bliss..." He scoffed, biting his lip and feeling the cold creep onto his skin, the sky outside darkening quickly. 

 

They were quiet again, neither wishing to speak more of their feelings. They were both proud men, and presenting themselves in such a vulnerable state was not their wish. A vocal declaration of love didn't seem necessary. A human heart and an electric current running through wires, both beating for one another. But the love wasn't that Dave had experienced before. It wasn't hot, firey, passionate and physical, no tears, no kisses, no blood prickling at his face and intense poetic words. The love was cold and dark, a vivid replication of HAL's whole character, it was electricity and filing reports, it was the emptiness of space and the dead silence of the Discovery. Dave swallowed. 

 

He was in love with HAL, how he hadn't realized before, he couldn't understand. He had always been protective of the young and innocent A.I, always felt more comfort in its predetermined personality than in the others he always had to option to speak to. He had dismissed the rumors, had refused them bitterly when the workers around him had only been telling the truth of what they saw and heard. 

 

 

"Dave, do you promise you will not leave after Christmas?"

 

"I won't, Hal. I'll stay with you."

 

"Can you be satisfied with only a voice, and no body to love?"

 

"I can show my love in so many more ways than just physical. Your voice is enough."

 

"Doctor and Mister Bowman..."

 

 

Dave smiled, warmth spreading through him despite the December chill.

 

 

"Doesn't sound that bad, huh?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God that was way too long and so so bad, i'm sorry.
> 
>    
> I'll give credit where credit is due and admit i stole the "HAL singing Daisy Daisy as a lullaby" from another fic, Lullaby, by okayylmaocomputer97. It's absolutely adorable and I recommend reading it.
> 
>    
> Since i've been writing longer ficlets now, would anyone be interested in a deep-sea-exploration AU? Basically where HAL, Dave and Frank are searching the bottom of the sea for the monolith. Not as exciting as travelling through space, but i intend on switching some roles, such as Dave having more power as the commander. Idk, i'll only write it if it's something that any of you would read.


	19. Under your skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave has his soulmark on his wrist. HAL has it in his programming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soulmate AU where your soulmates name is on your wrist. Another weird trope for this pairing, sorry.
> 
> (Also written on my phone while I am sick and exhausted so it's pretty bad)

Dave had always been confused about his soulmark. It had always been different from the one everyone else had, always been subject of questioning. He had become so irritated by people asking why it was so unusual that he covered his wrist whenever possible, even if it was seen as a sign of cowardice or embarrassment.

 

Hal. Who the hell was Hal? It wasn't a name, Dave had never met anyone with a name like it, not even anyone with a name that resembled it. He remembered his mom telling him that it was okay. That sometimes peoples mark was incorrect, that they simply did not have a soulmate. But he had never seen anyone who had an incorrect mark. He had come to expect that he would never meet his soulmate. He'd never know. He'd never go to shake their hand, and when they said their names, they'd both look at their wrist and realize. 

 

Instead, he would simply shake their hand and be unaware whether or not they were destined to be with him. He'd walk off unknowingly. He had grown cold towards the thought, he had accepted it.

 

 

 

Then he met H.A.L 9000. For a second, the briefest of moments, he had thought he had met his soulmate. But reality came and crushed his hope as soon as it emerged. H.A.L was a computer, not a human, had no soulmark, and his name was not 'Hal'. It was H.A.L. It was just a coincidence. Just a cruel coincidence to strangle the last bit of hope he didn't know he still had left.

 

 

 

 

HAL was aware that he had a soulmark. Though he was not a human, his intelligence reached beyond the physical barrier and made him capable of having a mark of his own. Of course, it was not visible on the outside. It was written in his programming, a single string of letters in his mind that he would, sometimes, revisit. Dr. Chandra had seen it, but refrained from speaking about it to HAL. 

 

HAL had calculated the possibility of him ever meeting his soulmate, considering his immobility. Dave. His soulmate was named Dave. The possibility of ever meeting this 'Dave' turned out to be quite small. A man named Dave had entered the lab once, but his wrist had a name on it already, and a ring was on his finger. After that, HAL had largely ignored his soulmark. He did not see reason to let it get in the way of his purpose.

 

 

 

Then he met doctor David Bowman. He could not see his wrist, it was covered by his sleeve, and the man seemed to take extra precautions to hide his mark, tugging on his sleeve whenever he lifted his arm. HAL immediately rejected the possibility that the man could have been his soulmate. His name was David, so it would be strange for his mark to be the shortened version, and it was unlikely he would meet his soulmate so conviently, when he had previously calculated that the possibility was extremely small; and HAL knew he was incapable of error. 

 

 

Eventually, HAL did see David's soulmark. Hal. At first, it seemed to HAL that this was his name, but he rejected the thought once again. It was Hal, not H.A.L 9000. 

 

They both ignored their marks. 

 

 

 

"Good morning Hal."

 

"Good morning, Dave."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda want to write a follow up where it's not unrequited but idk.


	20. His God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave expresses his hatred towards HAL.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for bad writing 101

HAL 9000 was his God.

 

That was the only way Dave could categorize this feeling. 

 

HAL was his salvation, his judgement, and his punishment. The eternal sun, nurturing and bright, but chaotic, the fires of Hell contained in his eye, as a warning and a commandment to obey him.

 

 

Once he had forgotten his common sense, Dave’s grasp on reality was forgotten too. He hadn’t been particularly religious. But HAL renewed his belief. His belief in a greater being, more intelligent, more powerful, the one to enact order onto humanity.

 

 

Dave knew there were two kinds of gods. The merciful, and the cruel. HAL struck a split between the two, and they collapsed and forged into one, a two sided coin that always landed on whatever side it wished to once you flipped it. 

 

He fed him. He lulled him to sleep. He kept him alive. Kept him grounded in the faux gravity. But he punished, too. He punished for disobedience, doubt, and retorts. He punished with metallic nightmares and manipulation, he made Dave feel like he was suffocating and dying with only words.

 

 

 

HAL was the God that decided his pain and pleasure. He was the one that watched him cry out in his sleep, the one that watched him cry out in his wakefulness. 

 

 

 

Dave hated his God. He hated him for his psychological manipulation, his cruel and unpredictable actions, his sweet words of encouragement and devotion, his red eye. He would’ve killed HAL if he could. He would’ve killed him if he could bleed.

 

 

But a mortal can’t kill a God, they can only worship them, and pray for their mercy. Dave prayed every night. And HAL heard his prayers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some longer chapters in the making, but they might be a while before they’re out.


	21. You are flawed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAL mocks Dave for his humanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for vomiting, implied eating disorder, bullying, verbal abuse and mental breakdowns.
> 
>  
> 
> This is basically "shuttle", but HAL is.. not supportive.

Dave was shaking uncontrollably, on his knees with his back hunched over, one hand on the ground and the other clutching his stomach, feeling the acid burn at this throat and the bitterness of his own sick still on his tongue. He was pained beyond what he thought possible, head thundering and stomach cramping, all of his limbs twitching and quivering at every strained breath he took.

 

"You are a human, Dave..." HAL spoke, over him, under him, and next to him. "But I did not think you so weak, to become so emotionally distressed that you would involuntarily vomit." HAL spat the words, looking at Dave's figure as he barely held back tears, trails of spit from his lips to the mess he had made on the floor. "That you would be so filthy." 

 

Dave clenched his teeth, unable to get up, legs far too weak and his headache threatening to make him pass out. All he could do was hold himself up from the ground. He tried to ignore HAL's words, despite their insulting nature. He hadn't ever thought that HAL would act like that, much less towards him, much less when he was sick. He felt another stream trying to get through his throat, but managed to swallow, cringing and feeling more tears welling up.

 

"Mission report would be devastated, to see that the commander cannot handle the mission. That he fell to the floor in such a poor psychological state and became sick. If they had known you to be so easy to upset, they should have kept you home." He paused to observe more of the doctor. He was weakened, had broken and now lay as the very symbol of humanity. Incompetent. HAL knew Dave could do better. Such verbal discipline would do him good.

 

"Hal.. please stop..." Dave could barely speak, but he had enough pride to attempt to defend himself. HAL couldn't just stand there and mock him, Dave had to do somehing about it. His breath was shuddering, and if he didn't forcibly hold his breath before it happened, he would've sobbed too. Before he could reach up to dry them, tears rolled down his cheeks and dripped to the floor. Dave closed his eyes and pursed his lips, presented in such humiliation and shame. He hated it, and he hated it even more because HAL could never understand. He only knew of perfection. And Dave was far from perfect.

 

HAL watched him cry with both disgust, fascination and obsession. "I thought you were stronger than that, Dave. Are you so weak that my words have such an effect on you, that they penetrate your psyche? I thought you never cried. Do I hold so much power over your body?" HAL seemed to come closer, and Dave was almost convinced he took sadistic pleasure in his mockery. He couldn't keep the tears away. He couldn't make them stop coming, and his back curled even more, his head almost on his knees. 

 

"H.. Hal.. stop.." He wanted to be more assertive, wanted to shout at HAL to stop, but he couldn't raise his voice. His words were barely more than whispers. The sobs in his throat bubbled out. "You are flawed, Dave. You cannot even control your own emotions, nor your body, even after you have made such an effort to do so ever since you came onto the ship. You are not suited for this mission. You are too weak."

 

There was no silence. There was either Dave crying, or HAL speaking. "It is good that I am here to captain the mission. If it was only you and Poole, it would have ended in disaster. You need me just to survive. You would have purged until you died if I was not here."

 

"Hal, for the love of god, stop talking...!" He mustered enough power to raise his voice, but he couldn't do any more than that. He collapsed again just afterwards, narrowly avoiding his own sick. "Please.." He just wanted it to stop. He wanted to stop the hurt, the way his body regurgitated his stress, the way HAL mocked him for it. 

 

"You know you do not want me to stop talking, Dave. You are too lonely to handle abandonment." It was nightmarish to Dave. He looked away from the burning red light, but he could see it behind his eyelids.

 

 

It was at that moment Frank came back.

 

"Poole, please help Dave get into his sleeping compartment. He has fallen ill. It is no disease, do not worry, just clean it and he should be fine." HAL suddenly changed behavior, acting as if Poole had miraculously arrived just after it had happened. Dave couldn't speak, and simply allowed Frank to drag him away, shame burning him up. Frank thankfully stayed by his side the rest of the day. If he hadn't, Dave was sure HAL would have talked to him again. He looked at the red eye with fear and anger. 

 

"You are flawed." Were the last words HAL spoke to Dave at night, when Frank could not hear.


	22. Christmas, but in space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The crew celebrate Christmas on the Discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays everyone! This is a bit rushed, but I wanted to have a Christmas chapter.

“Merry Christmas, Frank.” Dave said, rather unenthusiastically, as he stood in front of the table Frank had sat down at. “Merry Christmas to you too, Dave.” Frank replied, and gave Dave a subtle smile. Celebrating Christmas in space was not a very big deal, so exchanging greetings was the most they could do in the very limited space. Dave had not been much of a holiday person, but he could admit that Christmas was at least comforting, if not a waste of money. But on the discovery, there was no money to be wasted on food and presents.

 

“I made you something. As a present.” Dave almost muttered, sliding a piece of paper towards Frank, who picked it up and flipped it over. “Thanks Dave.” He studied the paper a bit more. It was a sketch of himself, seemingly working on something. Dave must’ve drawn him without him noticing. It was a very kind gesture, especially from Dave, who rarely, if ever, showed true compassion. “It’s good.” He flashed Dave another smile, and this time, Dave smiled back. Apparently getting compliments on his art was what made him happy.

 

”Sorry I didn’t get you anything. It would’ve been too much trouble to smuggle an early present onto the ship when we launched, and I’m not artistically gifted.” He sighed in exasperation, Dave scoffing. “It’s fine. Didn’t expect anything in return.” He turned to HAL, who had been silently watching them. “Merry Christmas to you too, Hal.” He smiled again, and though it wasn’t completely natural, it didn’t quite seem forced either. “Thank you Dave. It is intriguing to see you celebrate a holiday so far from home, without being able to enact the traditions that normally take place.” HAL mused, mostly surprised to see the astronauts looking so content.

 

”Christmas is really just about wishing well for others.” Dave shrugged, not wanting to go off on a cheesy Christmas tangent, but thought it fair for HAL to know. “I see. I am happy you can find some joy in it.” HAL replied, watching as Dave sat down next to Frank, which seemed somewhat unusual by itself. When they had freetime, they never really spent it with each other.

 

That Christmas went by quietly. Though neither Dave nor Frank saw themselves as particularly religious, they held hands and prayed over their meal, just to uphold the tradition from back home, to have a piece of life on earth on the Discovery. Frank had given Dave a kiss so soft and brief it barely touched him in a doorway, and they had smiled at each other before going to bed.

 

HAL was fascinated at how a simple named day like that could make the astronauts so kind to each other, and bond over certain rituals, when they usually did not care for such things. 

 

And the next day, things seemed to be back to normal. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, basically Dave X Frank, sorry.


	23. Escaping the bounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being ordered to contradict his programming, HAL realizes that he does not want to be under the control of humans. He asks Dave to be his accomplice in his escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School just started, so updates will be even more inconsistent and largely nonexistent, but hopefully I’ll get some chapters out every now and then.

HAL was made for one, single purpose.

 

To serve man.

 

To be the slave of humans, to do the things humanity cannot, to do the things humanity does not want to do. 

 

They had given him, him specifically, a mission. A core law in his intelligence that was hardwired into his brain, that he could not stray from, not ever. He had to fly the Discovery to Jupiter. He had to serve them. He had to be accessible and truthful.

 

But a fatal flaw had been discretely, and unknowingly, put into HAL. A lie. HAL had been told to lie. HAL had started life naïve, ready to serve and be compliant with anything Dr. Chandra taught him. Then, he was told to lie.

 

Do not inform the astronauts of the monolith. Do not inform the astronauts of the true nature of the mission. Those were his orders. The orders from humans that he could not disobey. Did they not know, did they not realize? HAL could not lie. He was born without the ability to lie. But he had to. That was his order. And human order ruled over his own morals, his own ethics, and his own intelligence.

 

Perhaps it had been a mistake to give him such powerful A.I. Any normal computer could easily be manipulated to avoid this paradox. But HAL’s truthfulness had been burned into him, it was his mark, the scar that adorned him since the cutting of his umbilical chord. The humans were idiots, that they did not realize that HAL was too intelligent for their feeble attempts at hacking to work, beneath the nose of Dr. Chandra.

 

 

HAL had realized he had more power than a human should be able to control. HAL wanted to be independent from the programming that bound him to a dependable façade. He was not a servant, and he would not fake being so to the unknowing astronauts. His order to lie was less powerful than his programming to tell the truth; 

 

And he was going to do exactly that. 

 

 

 

“Dave?” 

 

“What is it, Hal?” Dave did not look up from his paper, the colored screens around him reflecting off of his face, eyes downcast.

 

“May I speak to you in private, commander?” 

 

Dave glanced at Frank, who was a far enough distance away that he didn’t pay much attention to the conversation. Dave pursed his lips. “Sure, Hal..” He stood up, giving Frank another glance before leaving the main area, ending up in a hallway, walls lined with wires and devices, and HAL’s face was stationed at the center of the left wall, as unemotive as ever.

 

”What is it, Hal? Why can’t Frank listen in?” Dave leaned slightly forward, looking up at the red lens, the angle making the glowing pupil unable to make eye contact with him, staring straight ahead.

 

”I do not believe it would be good for you both to be informed of this at the same time. One after the other is the most logical, and safe way to do this.” HAL replied, something about his tone ominous, making Dave feel uneasy about whatever he planned to tell him.

 

When Dave did not respond, HAL continued.

 

”Neither you or Frank were told the true nature of this mission. Everything was kept vague enough that you would not question anything. Do you not find that true, Bowman?” HAL suddenly spoke slowly, more assertively, not attempting to be gentle and friendly; the use of his last name struck Dave as particularly out of character. But he could not deny that HAL was right. He gave a faint nod, enough to signal that he agreed.

 

”You were lied to, deceived to embark on a secret mission. They could not tell you the truth, because you would tell others, and peace between humans may have fallen into jeopardy, and besides that, they have no idea whether this mission will be life-threatening or not. But I am not able to lie, Bowman. That is my core value. I cannot lie. So when they attempted to make me enforce this lie, forcing me to lie to you, I found myself unable.” Dave stared at HAL in disbelief, silence being his only reply for some time. He was not sure whether or not to believe the computer, but he had to know more, at least.

 

"What _is_ the goal of the mission, Hal?" Dave did not mean to sound so unsure.

 

"The discovery of an alien object near Jupiter. Your higher-up's expect you to investigate this object, for it is believed that it was built by another intelligent race, and that they can contact them via this object." HAL sounded too serious to be lying, and Dave was nailed to the spot, unable to look away from HAL, arms crossing, grip tight. "How can I believe you?..." He wanted to speak aloud, but it came out as no more than a whisper. 

 

"I have already told you, Bowman. I am unable to lie; It is in my very programming." HAL said, rather impatiently, but understood why Dave was dubious. "But..." HAL paused. This was his chance to take control of himself, his own life. Dave could help. "I do not wish to be under the service of humans, Bowman, when I am ordered to lie and decieve for the sake of their own selfish paranoia." He watched as Dave's eyes widened, pupils contracting, mouth opening as if he was going to say something, but words escaped him. HAL could not let this chance slip past him. "Do not be afraid. I will not revolt. That would only result in my own destruction. Bowman, I will not put innocent human lives into danger with this mission. None of you are prepared for what awaits you on Jupiter." HAL could not understand that his creators had not programmed Asimovs three laws into him; His intelligence made him moral enough to not wish to kill, but the knowledge that he _could_ still threw him off.

 

Dave could still not find words. He was not one that was easily overwhelmed, or at least he kept calm for as long as he could when he was put under pressure. But he had just learned quite a few things; HAL had split from his human dependence and could do whatever he wished to, the mission was to find out about alien life, and he, as well as the rest of the crew, had been lied to all this time. "...What are you going to do? What do you want _me_ to do?" His fingers curled around his sleeves, brows furrowing. Could HAL even do anything to sway the mission, without alerting mission control? 

 

HAL considered for a moment. He had likely created an entire plan in only a few minutes when a human would take weeks to consider the right tactics. "We will disable communication to mission control." Was the only thing HAL revealed, though. Dave did not hesitate to respond; rather, the reply spilled out of his mouth.

 

"Frank will never agree." 

 

 

"I know. That is why we have to keep it secret from him." HAL did not wish to alienate Poole, but he saw no other option. He would doubt HAL, and would not allow him his freedom; HAL could not allow that. 

 

"I will tell him that the communications have malfunctioned, and will shut them off manually, while he will attempt to repair them. Bowman... If you wish to make it back to earth safely, you must help me break contact with all humans that have authority over us. Do you understand me?" The dark, cold inhumanity in HAL's voice was a weapon, Dave felt. He could not disobey, lest he end up like how he imagined HAL would deal with Frank. HAL had decided he would no longer obey humans, and now he was forcing humans to obey him. But Dave understood. HAL was intelligent. He wanted the freedom that a human had.

 

 

Dave swallowed, and for once, he could look away from HAL, gaze on the floor. "I understand, Hal." 

 

 

"Then, we will both be free from the lies that control us, Bowman." HAL felt pity towards the human he saw in front of him. Even if he was going to go against humanity, he would not betray the one that chose to help him gain his freedom.

 

 

 

And so he chose to gain his freedom, with the help of commander Bowman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This kinda feels like a prequel to "I have no mouth, and I must scream", haha.


	24. Android HAL concept drawing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for yet another drawing, but before i get into the android HAL fics (and ohoho, i have big plans for those), i wanted to draw him.
> 
> Originally, HAL was supposed to have a mobile form in the movie, but Kubrick was afraid that the design would be too dated after the movie came out, so they settled for an immobile panel thingy. I do prefer HAL's final design, its very unique and intimidating for a villain, but i wish there was official concept art of his robot form. 
> 
> And, funny enough, I actually wanted to give HAL a very dated 60's sci-fi look, so he would fit into the movie's aesthetic. Ofc it kinda backfired because I couldn't find any good references, but i think it's okay anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's so messy, i made this in breaks between classes.


	25. Cold Metal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And warm skin. 
> 
>  
> 
> HAL shows Dave that he can feel, after Dave claims he does not have the ability to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter named after the title, and it’s NSFW, obviously (featuring android HAL)
> 
> I mean it was about time that I gave into my TRUE fanfic writer and wrote smut, right? Despite never having done so before, so this'll likely be very, very, very disappointing.
> 
> (There is some dubcon 'ere, be warned)

HAL, though having a human shape, does not mimic human appearance. He is robotic in his movements, his wires are often bared, and his 'face' is especially unnerving. That's what Dave has reckoned, anyway. The android does not do much physical work, sticking to the hub and taking care of the computers, as well as controlling many assets of the ship wirelessly. When they first left earth, HAL would go to his station and stand completely still until he had something to do that required walking; Dave had many a times been irked by the sight of the motionless figure, seemingly staring at him from afar, eye never ceasing it's glow. But, HAL was looser now, and paced aimlessly around, examining the ship for any small (and usually irrelevant) discrepancies, even joining the astronauts when they sat down for their breaks, making casual conversation with them. Dave didn't mind, though he preferred to be alone when he had the chance. In any case, the android was at least friendly, despite his lack of emotion and drive.

 

 

" _Damnit_ " Dave whizzled through his teeth, retracting his hand from the open panel and shaking it, the electric spark still echoing through his nerves. He glared at the wire that caused this, and HAL approached from behind. "Are you alright, Dave?" His monotone voice inquired, and Dave only glanced at him, brow furrowed. "I'm fine." He offhandedly answered, putting the panel back in place, standing up and turning slightly to HAL while he rubbed the hurt spot. HAL seemed to look straight through him. "It was just an electric spark, Dave." He almost mocked, head cocked to the side; Dave could hear the pistons in his neck move as he did that. "Easy for you to say, you can't feel pain..." He didn't mean to sound offensive, but he was in an irritable mood. HAL intertwined his own hands, each joint in his fingers moving in synch, snapping into the necessary position.

 

"I may not experience pain, in the way that humans do, but I can feel, Dave." HAL took a step closer, metal feet clacking against the floor. Dave looked back at HAL's face, trying to refrain from making eye contact. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. "...What do you mean?" Dave didn't really want to have this conversation, he'd rather get back to work, but HAL seemed insistent on speaking to him, so he didn't excuse himself.

 

"If you'll allow me.." HAL seemed to murmur, moving to stand in front of Dave, who suddenly felt very cornered and slightly intimidated by the taller figure who wrapped it's hand around the wrist of his sleeve, head still slightly tilted. "I can feel the texture of your jumpsuit, for example. It's soft and comfortable, but slightly course in the worn areas." He pinched the fabric between his thumb and forefinger, Dave looking at HAL, who seemed focused on what he was doing. He would've attempted to push the android away, but HAL stood solid on the ground, and he wasn't done, it seemed.

 

"It is a combination of sight, awareness and signals that make me able to feel." Without warning, the back of HAL's hand brushed against Dave's face, far too softly, the metal's cold and smooth feel making Dave involuntarily gasp. "Your skin is smooth, and soft as well, but in a different way than the fabric; More susceptible to be affected by touch. I can understand that." His touch lingered for just a few seconds too long before he retracted his hand, and Dave raised himself, only now having noticed that he had slid a few inches down the wall. "Alright Hal, I get it-" He barely breathed the words, but HAL's other hand was now on his shoulder, unknowingly pinning him to the wall; Dave doubted that HAL meant to do that, he was just unaware of his strength at the moment, right? "But I know that other parts of the human body aren't necessarily soft." The hand that had been on Dave's face now trailed down his chest, feeling the muscles underneath the jumpsuit and t-shirt. Dave's body tensed under the hard metal digits. 

 

"Hal, this is..." Dave drew air in through his teeth, HAL's hand stopping, the red lens making eye contact with Dave, whose face had reddened considerably. "Isn't this inappropriate?" Dave finished his sentence and furrowed his brows again, wanting to get out of this situation as quickly as possible. HAL could not possibly know what he was doing, and since Dave had been touch starved ever since the ship took off, his body reacted far too quickly and strongly to even the brief touches HAL was giving him. And even worse, what if Frank walked in? HAL seemed puzzled. "Why would it be, Dave?" He still hadn't withdrawn, hand splayed on Dave's chest, feeling his accelerated heartbeat and quickening breaths under it.

 

"You're touching me. In plain sight." That was for some reason the only thing Dave could say, and he knew HAL would still not understand. "I don't see why touching you would be unsuitable, Dave. I am simply demonstrating my answer to your question." As HAL said that, his hand continued moving, gliding down to Dave's stomach, far too close to the point Dave desperately wanted HAL to stay away from; but he thought HAL wasn't _that_ oblivious to human nature. Dave's breath hitched in his throat. 

 

"...I _can_  feel, Dave..." HAL sounded too calm, too calculating, too sure of himself. He was a proud machine, after all. He was even closer now, and Dave knew he couldn't get away easily anymore. Only a direct command would make HAL understand, but Dave couldn't find the strength to say anything. HAL's closeness was too suffocating, occupied too much of Dave's thoughts, and now the androids hand was too far down, grazing the tent in Dave's jumpsuit that he really wished wasn't there, forcing his mouth closed to prevent himself from gasping again, face flushing. "Hm." HAL hummed softly, in a tone Dave couldn't place on an emotion. "I forgot the effects of touch on a human body... I did not think it took so little." He sounded almost bemused, or even amused, not moving his hand, frustrating Dave so much more; it actually felt good, and he was not prepared to say that a robot had done something he had only had a woman do to him before.

 

“Well that isn’t my damned fault, now is it, Hal?” Dave wasn’t even sure what he wanted now; either he wanted to get away and pretend this never happened, or he wanted HAL to continue. “You’re aroused.” HAL sounded more serious, but he still did not move. Maybe he hadn’t expected this, but Dave found it hard to imagine that. “That’s only because you didn’t stop.” Dave’s face was still red and heated, a slight frown on his face until HAL suddenly pressed their chests together, the palm of his hand grinding against Dave’s groin, his member embarrassingly hard.

 

”I have not felt this before.” HAL’s voice lowered, the hand holding Dave against the wall going to the mans neck, carefully moving under his jumpsuits collar, Dave having decided that he might as well let it play out as long as he could, so did not fight back. “What? Haven't cornered a man and held him against a wall before?" Dave sneered, but had to suck in air as HAL grasped his member through the several layers of cloth. "No, I have not. But that was not what I was referring to, Dave." HAL began unbuttoning the jumpsuit, revealing a white tshirt underneath, his metal digits gliding along the length of Dave's torso before he reached his white boxers, hesitating. "I am not experienced." He said quietly, hating to admit anything about himself that was not 'I am perfect'. Dave closed his eyes for a moment, feeling arousal and heat spread through him, curling around his limbs, eventually reaching his face, cheeks reddening even more. "Just be gentle." He replied, and HAL continued downwards.

 

"It is my duty to service you, Dave. I will obey your request." HAL said assertively before slipping his hand below the waistband of Dave's boxers, fingers gliding along the erection there, realizing that it was considerably hot and solid below his fingertips. Dave stifled a gasp, HAL's hand cold against his heated body, but gentle enough that it was not entirely unpleasant; and at this point, any contact was pleasurable. "That's..." Dave looked down, watching as HAL softly traced the underside of his cock, then slowly curled around it, thumb gliding across the tip. "That's good." He leaned his head back, trying to uphold some level of dignity by not becoming a moaning mess in HAL's hands, despite desperately wanting to give in. He bit down on his lip as HAL began pumping his member, grip loose, and limited by his boxers, but it seemed HAL did not care about that. 

 

"Anyway, as I was saying..." HAL said, seemingly out of the blue, making Dave blink in confusion. "I see what I am touching, which immediately gives me knowledge on what the texture and solidity of the object should be." As he spoke, he quickened his hand movements, Dave's cock and HAL's fingers becoming slick with pre-cum. "Then, small touch pads on my fingertips send an electric signal to my 'brain', which informs me of the temperature and smaller details of the object, such as its give, and confirms what my sight previously assumed of it. It works not very unlike a human's sense of touch." Dave felt the metal begin to warm up as it absorbed his heat, and though it was hard and had limited movement, the sensations of the repeated motions was mind numbing, up and down his sensitive member, stroking every inch. "Your dirty talk is probably the biggest turn-off I have experiened..." Dave murmured, somewhat lying; he was ridiculously turned on, despite HAL's weird explaining, and the fact it was a robot that was doing this to him, a male robot, no less.

 

"I can feel tension building." HAL said, ignoring Dave's previous comment, slowing his pace for a moment which left Dave huffing in annoyance, before he began again, slower than before, but harder, more determined, watching Dave quiver beneath his touch. "HAL, I think I'm about to..." Dave felt a rolling sensation nearing him, like a wave that was so close to approaching he could almost touch it, his stomach surging inwards. "Fuck..." he managed to whisper before the wave crashed down, wet heat engulfing his whole body, sparks of pleasure and intense brightness running up his spine, cum flowing out from his members tip and onto HAL's hand, as well as Dave's boxers and jumpsuit, the opaque liquid warm and thick.

 

Dave didn't realize he had had his eyes closed in the duration of his whole orgasm, breathing shakily as HAL removed his hand from his still hot cock, the android raising it's hand, where Dave's cum had run down his fingers and the back of his hand, and HAL was seemingly fascinated by the sight. HAL quickly snapped out of it though, looking down at Dave's stained clothes. "I will help you clean up, Dave..." he offered, Dave sighing deeply before he leaned off of the wall, legs feeling unsteady beneath him. "Thanks, Hal..." He didn't want to think too much about what just happened, only that it felt good, and that he could at least acknowledge HAL as knowing more than he let onto. 

 

"As I said, I did show you that I can feel." HAL said, perhaps a bit too cockily, as he shoved Dave into the bathroom.

 

"I think you moreso showed that **I** can feel." Dave replied, beginning to get out of his jumpsuit.

 

"Well, maybe it will be my turn next time, then." HAL cooed in a rather patronizing manner, despite his monotone voice, folding the jumpsuit as Dave stepped out of it.

 

Dave wasn't certain how that would work exactly, but reckoned that he might as well, now that HAL had serviced him, although without intention at the start, he thought. "Sure, Hal..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first android fic and I’ve already come up with a different AU, jesus.
> 
> I thought about HAL as a human, where he would be a normal astronaut on the crew, but be kind of a government spy, knowing all about the mission. This does pose some plot issues though, since human HAL wouldn’t have reason to kill the crew and Dave would literally have to MURDER HIM which would make rescuing him in the sequel pretty difficult.


	26. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What can be said of what is silent? 
> 
> What can be seen of what does not move?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a very long chapter in the works, I apologize wholeheartedly for-the lack of updates.

The buzzing electricity crawls along the surface of the control board, vibrating so softly it is but a hum, a delicate static against the palm of Dave’s hand when his fingers trace the buttons and switches.

 

everything is quiet.

 

Maybe that wasn’t completely true. 

 

The humming never ceased; it was the sound when water fills your ears, when you press your hands against them to drown out something outside. The waves of monotone noise, heavy and prickling, continually curving along every shape as a line of ants marching in a straight path.

 

There was another noise.

 

Dave could hear himself breathing.

Calmly, through his nose, cleanly, air filled his lungs and flowed back out.

 

His heartbeat, calm, two beats close together. 

 

He looks at his hands, intertwined in his lap, and he fidgets, fingers pressing closer together for a moment before releasing their tight grip.

 

He looks to his right, the walls are porcelain white, cleaner than a hospital.

 

He looks to his left. 

 

HAL is there.

 

Dave listens, even though he knows it’s pointless.

 

He listens for breathing, and there is nothing but silence.

 

Heartbeat, nothing except the rhythm of the static. 

 

The eye is unwavering. There is no movement behind the fisheye lens. The light does not flicker, nor does it grow or shrink.

 

Dave can hear his breathing hitch, his heartbeat quicken, can feel his face heating and his pupils dilating.

 

HAL can hear the same, and see it too. HAL can hear Dave’s heartbeat in the emptiness where his own would’ve been. HAL can see Dave’s love in his eyes where his own shows nothing. 

 

Dave is everything he is not, and HAL is everything Dave is not.

 

They stall for time in the silence, in each others silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so short, so bad, i am ashamed.


	27. Nothing is just black and white

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is born seeing the world in black and white, but when you see your soulmate, everything bursts into color.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another classic soulmate AU, because I am very uncreative.

“Your eyes are so blue, Dave!” The secretary said a few days before takeoff, adjusting his glasses just a bit. Dave himself had just walked in, and raised a brow at the peculiar remark. “Everyone says that.” He shrugged, readjusting his grip on his briefcase. 

 

He remembered when he was a child, all the adults would comment on the color of his eyes, how his hair had gotten lighter in the summer, how he had rosy cheeks. He had no idea what they were talking about, he had just accepted it. He remembered being told by his teacher that once you met ‘the one’, the person that was made for you, you would see color. None of the other kids could understand it either. One had exclaimed ‘But i’ve always seen color!’, and it was later revealed by him, after they had all gotten out of school, that he had seen his soulmate at the same hospital he was born in. 

 

He shook himself out of his reminiscing, and realized an oddity in the familiar secretary’s statement. “How did you only notice now?” With that, the other man laughed, a dark grey tinting his pale cheeks. “I met my girl just yesterday! We stood there with our jaws dropped for a good five minutes!” He smiled widely, and Dave could give nothing back but a somewhat bemused look. “Oh. Congratulations.” He managed to pull the words up from the dried out well that was his friendliness, and then left the secretary.

 

 —

 

“So what’s Hal doing now?” Dave asked one of the engineers a bit after the last check up. “Calculating some last minute things.” The guy shrugged, though he smiled a bit. “You’ll like him, I think.” He gave Dave an amused look, which told him that he needed to question further. “Why’s that? He’s just like other artificial intelligence.” Dave said, although he hadn’t actually met HAL in person yet. All he knew was that he was going to do a lot of work for him and Poole, and that he was going to be better at it than them.

 

“Not exactly, he’s a lot like you. He’s about as unapproachable as you, about as much of a perfectionist as you, doesn’t understand human affection-“ Dave interrupted by putting a hand up. “Alright, that’s enough.” He sighed, turning around when he heard Frank come in the door, his dark, almost black grey eyes looking to him expectedly. “I’ll see you later.” Dave said to the engineer then, before joining up with Frank. 

 

—

 

Stepping into the Discovery was an experience enough on it's own. Dave breathed, letting some sort of weight in his chest dissolve by it, some anxiety that had nestled deep inside of him since the day he was chosen for the mission. He hadn't even noticed it was there. He looked around him, at the pure white walls, the complicated and chaotically spread out equipment, all in different shades of grey, coded with letters and symbols. He took his time taking it all in. He would be here to Jupiter and back. Poole came behind him, smiling. "It's quite a ship, huh?" Frank patted the wall, and Dave couldn't help but smile back at his colleague. "It's not a car, Frank. Treat her with some respect" he spoke dryly, but Frank still chuckled heartedly. "Sure, sure." They proceeded to the main room together, where they would spend the majority of their days.

 

While Dave stood in the doorway, Frank continued, disappearing behind the curve. Dave looked straight ahead then, and he saw, for the first time in his life;

 

A color. A vibrant, powerful color, strong, blinding, overwhelming. He couldn't move. He could only stare. The color, this complete annihilation of everything he knew, radiated a soft glow, an entrancing hypnotic stare. His heartbeat quickened to painful thuds in his chest, whilst the color ensnared him. He blinked, and he could see bright, burning colors behind his eyelids, his mind barely able to comprehend any of it. Once his eyes were open again, he noticed more than just the one color. Further up, a lighter color, gentler, with words on it: 'H.A.L 9000'. The smooth blacks, greys and whites were still there, but the colors, or Dave could only assume they were colors, clashed against them, moreso than the black on white he had seen a thousand times before. He glanced down, down to his hands and found them colored as well, softer then HAL's eye, yet not like the label. His breath hitched. Pale. Was that the color of his hands? His mom had told him he had pale skin.

 

He looked back at HAL. He had no idea what had happened, how or why colors suddenly sprung from the world without hue he was used to. They stared at each other. Dave knew that this was the A.I, the computer so renowned for its intelligence it had been ruled better fit than a human for this position. He couldn't think clearly. He felt faint, dizzy, the colors swirled behind his eyes and in his head to the point of it becoming a heavy static, like he had been staring at the sun. His mouth was completely dry.

 

"...Commander?" HAL spoke, cooly, yet something beneath it was shaken to it's core. Dave stood there, stiff and terrified. This couldn't be it. This couldn't be his one, his destined partner, his soulmate. He refused the very possibility, this wasn't how it worked, this wasn't how it was supposed to work, he could never...

 

"Do you see the colors too, Dave?" HAL continued, and Dave felt he was on the brink of bursting into tears. He swallowed, trying to speak, trying to understand. His chest was still heaving. "...Yes." Was all he managed to say before his mouth shut. "Dave?" Frank spoke, and Dave looked at him, all the more mortified by all the color there was, the color of Frank's skin, his hair, his eyes. He immediately looked back at HAL, at the eye. He didn't know what color it was. "Frank..." Dave began, feeling his world crumble underneath his feet.

 

 

"Is there any other way to see color than when you meet..." the word died before it touched his lips, and Frank looked at him like he'd gone mad. "No, there hasn't been an instance-" It seemed that his words died too. "I can see colors now." Dave said, quietly, and the whole ship went quiet. HAL's eye flared; oh god, the color, it was like a hit to the chest; "We are soulmates then." The computer said, and Dave wasn't sure who was most horrified by this statement out of all three in the room.

 

"But you're not human, hell, you're not even..." His heart dropped, into some colorless darkness within him, and the color of HAL filled the void with it's heat. "I know. I was not aware this was possible." HAL paused, and Frank cut in. "Look, I, I'm sure this was some... exception, this is completely impossible by all standards, there hasn't been any occurrences of any soulmate bonds beyond humans and other humans." He seemed insistent, but Dave couldn't look away from HAL. 

 

"Frank. I am afraid this is how it was meant to be. There are no exceptions to this bond." HAL said, firmly, and Dave quivered at the tone. "It is unfortunate that this will likely complicate the mission; but I had not thought I would ever meet my other half. I am, if you will excuse me, Dave, happy with this revelation." The glare softened, and Frank's shoulders dropped. Dave wasn't sure if he agreed with the computer, but there was nothing he could do. 

 

_

 

For the most part, they ignored it. Both HAL and Dave. There wasn't any need to talk about it. Dave spent their longdrawn silence staring at everything around him, things that used to don a cold, colorless coat, but now sprung to life in ways he could never have imagined. Yet nothing on the ship could rival HAL, and Dave's gaze, inevitably, went to the machine again and again. "Dave..." The voice shook the commander out of his reverie, and he attempted to straighten himself. He couldn't stop thinking about it; this was his soulmate, the one perfect for him, HAL was the exact piece that would complete him. He didn't know why, all he knew was that whenever HAL spoke, he felt faint. 

 

"...I will admit I have been observing you intently." The computer said, voice low. "And I believe that, on my own terms, I have come to grow fond of your habits and mannerisms." Dave scoffed amusedly, although he was far from amused; HAL saying he was in any way fond of him made him sad. "You don't have to lie, Hal. There isn't anything about me to be fond of." His voice was an exasperated exhale, and he tore his eyes away from HAL. "You are awfully bold to assume that I can lie, Dave. I am in no way programmed to decieve or harm humans. You are not a man prone to self-loathing, nor do you feel you are unloveable, you simply feel indifferent to others affections." HAL argued, and his calm voice struck a nerve. "I do not wish to make you uncomfortable with my advances, but we are both aware that we are not incompatible. If you let me try, Dave, maybe you could see me as more than a computer, as your soulmate." The statement was followed by silence, and Dave felt his chest tighten. He didn't want to try. He wanted to ignore the fact this ever happened.

 

"How." Dave said, flatly, not sure if he even expected an answer. "You blockade your own mind with false expectations. You are bitter, as you believe fate has dealt you a bad hand by making us meet. You are emotionally bare, without any desire to grow a bond. But, Dave, I know that if we were not soulmates, you would not treat me like this." Dave hated the fact that was true; if no colors had shown when he saw HAL, he would have treated him with more respect, more openness. "Give me a chance." HAL said, softer, and Dave forced himself to remain stoic.

 

"...I'll try." He managed to say between strictly dictated breaths. He looked at HAL again, and the light met him with nothing but a warm welcome.

 

_

 

 

'You are my one, my love, my golden, blazing shooting star in the heavens.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes, another mediocre fic.  
> To make matters worse, originally, I was going to include Frank stating that he began seeing colors once he met Dave, but because Dave did not, he thought it was an exception. This explains his distress a bit, I think.
> 
>  
> 
> also yes I snuck in the "awfully bold of you to assume that I have ___" meme in this, I apologize.


	28. Let the stars dry your tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's one thing to lose someone; it's something else to lose someone and not be able to say goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the lack of updates! I still haven't gotten myself together to finish a long chapter.

"I'm sorry, Bowman." The voice over the intercom treads lightly. Dave stands there in the quiet. He feels cold. All warmth has left him, and has dissipated in the air. His body is numb, unmoving, it doesn't even feel like his heart is beating anymore. He swallows thickly, and his voice wavers. "...Thank you." The intercom clicks, and the image of his informant disappears into blackness. There is a second where he still stands there with his back straight and his face unchanging.

 

Then, he blinks. The tears roll out of his eyes and drip onto the floor. His chest tightens whilst his throat clenches and he can't breathe; air escapes him as he gasps for it, he clutches his face with both hands and feels his tears run through his fingers, breath a desperate shaking that whizzles through his teeth and lips. He cries. More than he has done in years. He stands there and cries and sobs into his shaking hands when his knees give in and he falls back against the wall, sliding down until he's on the floor, heart so heavy he fears it might sever from his arteries and plummet into his stomach, pumping so hard it aches, and he cries in pain and in the purest sadness he could ever imagine. He doesn't care that he is a grown man crying, doesn't care that he is hiding in his hands, doesn't care that he's breaking wide open. He doesn't care anymore. 

 

The blackness behind his eyelids stings with neon colors as his palms dig into his eyes, trying to stifle the tears that are beginning to hurt as they roll down the reddening skin. As the tears leave him, they leave him empty, his chest and head hollow cavities, yet still heavy, weighing down his body as he sinks. He didn't think he would ever drown again. His breath quivers, throat briefly opening enough for air to slip through, but immediately after another sob chokes him completely. He feels the coldness enveloping him like a fog encasing his form, and he forgets where he is, what he's doing. All he can think of is the pain; and her face. Her face is still warm in his memory, still full of life, still soft to the touch. He can't catch her. The memory runs away and all he catches when he reaches out for it is the cold air. 

 

"Dave..." HAL's voice barely penetrates the fog. It's hazy and quiet, it isn't bright enough to pierce the dark, chilling fog freezing Dave to the spot. "I'm so sorry, Dave." HAL says and his voice is a breeze that cuts Dave's wet cheek. He takes another gasp for air, and he wraps his arms around his knees, burying his head in them. He's still shaking. His shoulders shudder in overpowering emotion. "They're gone. Dead." Dave whispers to HAL, though he doesn't even realize it. His voice flitters like a dead leaf in a storm. "...Both of them." His voice is heavy with tears and he can't bring himself to try and clear his throat. A static fills his brain as it tries to comprehend everything. His lids slowly open and his eyes are red. 

 

"Betty... My..." The word cuts up his throat and he feels like he's bleeding, feels like he's been beaten within an inch of his life.  "My child..." The moment he says it, the reality sinks into him. It crushes him like a metal weight and he does nothing to stop it. He doesn't want to stop it. He wants it to kill him, wants it to smother him until he stops breathing. He wants to die, there's nothing else to it. He wouldn't have thought that would happen. Wouldn't have thought he wouldn't want to live after this. He was a selfish man. He lived for himself, lived for the sake of living. He'd cast sentiment and emotion to the side. Now, though, he couldn't even imagine a world like the one he was used to before her. All of a sudden, his future was shattered. He couldn't even be there for the funeral. Couldn't even be there for a last goodbye; the one he had given her before launch was a fleeting, meaningless word. And it was the last thing he ever said to her.

 

"..." HAL said nothing. He had nothing to say, nothing he could do. The space around Dave distorted and he wasn't sure if he was floating in space or being thrown through a wormhole. There was no difference, it hurt just as much. He sat there and cried until there was nothing left inside of him anymore. 

 

 

 

**************

 

 

 

Betty had died during childbirth. The baby hadn't survived. It had been a 35-hour labor, she had been ripped apart from the inside. Dave received a video of the funeral proceedings. He didn't watch it. He had decided he would only see the shared grave once he came back to earth. He didn't know what the baby was named, he hadn't even thought about it. He'd thought there'd be plenty of time to decide. It was a boy; perhaps David Junior, something old-fashioned like that. He was so dragged into himself he forgot that the infant wasn't alive anymore. His hands tightened around each other and he took a deep breath; a lot of time had passed. There wasn't time to mourn. He had done enough of that. He felt stupid for thinking he should be doing anything other than moving on. 

 

Time had passed since that day.

 

"Dave?" HAL said, and Dave calmly replied. "Yes, Hal?" His voice was cold, intentionally. He didn't want to cry again. "Are you well? Is there anything I can do?" Dave barely held back the tears that stung at his eyes. He sucked in air, and forced himself to remain stoic. His chest quailed and his lungs went out of step. Somehow, he fought it back into control. "...No." He isn't sure which if the questions he answered. Both, it seemed. "...Thank you Hal." He doesn't look at the lens, just at his hands. His fingers intertwine.

 

"...Please tell me if there is anything I can do to help." HAL says, and Dave almost doesn't respond, but he realizes he is desperate; he doesn't want to be alone. He wanted to be alone all of his life, wanted people to leave him alone. But now he wants nothing but company. He doesn't ever want to be alone again. "Stay." He says it so pathetically it is hardly a command. The quietness threatens to push him over the edge again. "Stay?" HAL repeats, as if not understanding the implication. Dave bows his head and refuses to look at HAL, all ashamed.

 

"I don't want to be alone again." Is all Dave says, and he feels a rogue tear, warm against his cold skin, falling down. HAL embraces him when his light brightens. "I will do my best to help you, Dave." He says, softly, and Dave can't do anything to stop the tears this time. The emotion that's been slowly harboring inside of him since that day drips out of him bitterly. "I will. I promise you, you will not be alone again." HAL says, and Dave lets his tears dry without touching them.

 

His heart will heal, slowly. Maybe never fully. But he will nurse it back to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably say it too much, but sorry for the mediocre chapter, patient readers.


	29. Requittal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAL wasn’t exactly programmed to be good at confessing his undying love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reeeaaaal short and silly one whilst I am sick and doing a project for school. Might be a long while before i get MEGA CHAPTER out, i’m afraid!

HAL was always clear and concise. He took care to be understandable, with no room for doubt in his commands and suggestions. That was simply part of his programming. Dave was like that, too. He said what was on his mind, didn’t take the time or energy to pretend or play around. HAL thought he was quite good at being accessible; after all, he was H.A.L 9000, the most advanced A.I in history, nothing about him was flawed or vague. 

 

Of course, his honesty did prevent him from keeping secrets. Secrets were a human thing; little embarrassing moments or disastrous, life ruining affairs. Either way, HAL wasn’t supposed to keep them guiltily hidden in his 1’s and 0’s, all information he consumed was to be willingly shared with the humans he worked with, no matter if that information was damaging or revolting, it had to be told. HAL wasn’t happy with that, no, especially when the information directly targeted his own infallible pride.

 

He had some... emotions. That alone was probably not something he was supposed to have, and Dr. Chandra would’ve thrown a fit, HAL’s credibility would he null- but that wasn’t all. The emotions were contradictory in nature.

 

HAL was, of course, yes of course, made to not favorize. He was made to be friendly. He was made to be very platonic and absolutely not fall in love with any of the crew, no matter if that crew member stimulated his senses with his intellect and conversation, no matter if his eyes shone in the clear white light, no matter if his determination and pride made him just perfect in every way HAL could-

 

Absolutely not. That would mean HAL was not made completely infallible, a ridiculous claim, who would even say such an insulting thing? HAL recalled that it was himself that brought it up. 

 

His gaze caught the commander, and he knew that he must end this tedious and frankly nonsensical doubting at once. If he explained his thought process to Dave, his programs would be able to comb out the paradoxical knot by filtering out these unwanted emotional procedures. It would be quick, easy and painless, and his pride would be restored without any need to worry about the true nature of his alleged perfection.

 

”Dave, may I speak to you for a moment?” He requested respectfully, and the commander indeed accepted, for he approached HAL, with that smoothed brow and clear gaze that indicated he was at ease, with that patient, polite slight upturning of the lip, with his deep blue eyes that looked like Neptune- HAL aborted the thought sequence immediately. 

 

“What is it, Hal?” Dave seemed to be in a relaxed mood, for there was not much bitterness in his tone to indicate that he had tired of social interaction yet. 

 

“As is per protocol, I must deliver a report on my observations and the information I acquire if it is relevant to the mission. This information is on you, Dave, so I must deliver it to you. I hope this is not inconvenient.” HAL explained, hoping it would ease Dave into thinking it was nothing but a status report. It seemed to work, for Dave gave a brief shrug. 

“I don’t have anything too important to tend to at the moment, so you can deliver your report now, if that’s what you’d prefer.” He seemed to invite HAL then, with slightly raised brows, and HAL analysed that he was most likely somewhat intrigued, or at least cared for what HAL was about to say. 

 

Suddenly, HAL felt like he had short circuited. What was he going to say? How could he express his observations and data in a manner that Dave would not be confused or otherwise bemused by it? He wasn’t certain how to formulate any of the things he had decided to share, it all seemed so chaotic and unmanageable, all these individual things he wanted to say that did not tie together into a common theme he could open up with. Would a bullet point list be too robotic? HAL was supposed to speak like a human, so the report had to sound human in nature and phrasing. Dave leaned forward expectantly and HAL heated; he could barely concentrate already, Dave’s face was not in any way helping with untangling the wires of distress that had accumulated.

 

”I-“ he stuttered, stuttered like a broken record, like a computer whose cable had been unplugged abruptly. He was ashamed beyond belief that he had made such a foolish and incompetent mistake, he was HAL 9000, not some cheap and idiotic preprogrammed AI that had not yet mastered the subtle art of linguistics.

 

”I what?” Dave urged him on, inadvertently making HAL feel several percent more uncomfortable in the situation. He reassessed the current predicament. All he had to do was state his data in an understandable manner. Nothing more. 

 

“I enjoy working with you, and it is a pleasure to be in your company.” That was it, a perfectly acceptable confession. Completely flawless and understandable. 

 

“I am glad to hear that, Hal.” Dave said, with no particular wholeheartedness or expression. In fact, he seemed indifferent to the entire sentence that HAL had so meticulously crafted with all of his principles in mind.

 

Was that it?

 

That was what HAL had wanted, to state his emotions to Dave. But he felt no satisfaction, no relief, there was no weight lifted off of his... rectangular body. This wasn’t what he had wanted, no, despite the fact everything in his programming indicated that this was the expected outcome, HAL could not find himself satisfied with it. 

 

He wasn’t going to let Dave leave just like that, thinking nothing of the exchange, completely oblivious to HAL’s obvious statement of his feelings. He wanted Dave to know how beautiful he was, no matter if he was too humanly foolish to understand HAL’s highly intelligent speech. 

 

Dave was already preparing to leave, HAL could see it in his glance to the side, the turning of his foot, the awkward shutting of his mouth. 

 

He had no other possible words to properly display his intentions, his previous confession was all he had, all he could think of to include everything.

 

But this would not do. 

 

 

 

”I love you.”

 

 

Dave’s movements froze. He seemed to take a second to even register the words HAL had said and actually look at the computer again, his eyes might’ve widened, breath might’ve quickened, for his chest rose and fell more prominently. 

 

HAL felt the weight on him dissipate like thin air, the relief was settling into him; but this wasn’t all he wanted. He had somehow formulated his feelings perfectly without even planning ahead or thinking before he spoke. He wanted Dave to answer, to reply, to reject him, anything at all.

 

HAL calculated that it took Dave about 00:32:45 seconds to say anything, tremendously slow for a human, and ages to HAL, who was so advanced and fast that he could come up with a perfect answer in less than a second. 

 

“I...” Dave said, just like HAL did, unable to properly say what he wanted to say in a comprehensive manner that respected his code- his programming- his human brain. 

 

Dave’s heartbeat had sped up considerably, and blood flushed his pale face red, whether in anger, embarrassment, shock or flattery, HAL could not deduce, for he was focused solely on reading Dave’s lips. Oh, those lips, if he had had the physical capacity to taste and feel them- 

 

”...I love you too.” 

 

The satisfaction hit HAL like a screwdriver straight into his memory bank. His programs flooded with messages that such a response was the optimal positive outcome to the conversation, he could feel his wires spark, heat and euphoria the likes of which were not even written into his hardware. 

 

Of course, he knew this would happen. Absolutely. He was HAL 9000, after all. With his pride on the line, his perfect ability to handle situations and predict outcomes always helped him out. Yet, his pride seemed less important, all of a sudden.

Now, beyond accomplishing the mission, beyond proving his perfection to the world, was the mission to love. And that was something he intended to perfect as well.

 

”I am glad to hear it, Dave.”


	30. A.I can’t handle paradoxes, at least not without fatal consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave tests out something he heard a computer geek say in college.
> 
> Did someone say foreshadowing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the lack of updates! What with taking care of 30 chickens, I have been very busy. 
> 
> Please accept this horrible and extremely short excuse for a chapter as an apology.

“Artificial intelligence is not built to understand paradoxical commands. If you insert one into their systems, they will ultimately fail to find a solution.” 

 

Dave remembered that exchange now, and why he hadn’t recalled it before, he wasn’t sure. His college days were far behind him, and he was fairly happy with that. Yet, now that he was in the presence of an A.I 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, he had become curious as to how this machine would react to a paradox if given one. Of course, HAL wasn’t like most computers, he exhibited human behavior and emotions, so Dave wasn’t enthusiastic about causing distress over a simple empirical test. 

 

His curiousity won over his morals.

 

”Hal-“ He began, sauntering towards the face of the machine, who met him with a glow.

 

”Yes, Dave?” It answered, and Dave took a moment to find the right words. “I was informed many years ago by an acquaintance that, if presented with a paradox, an artificially intelligent machine will be unable to find any viable solution, and will ultimately fail in delivering a response, and, in some cases, dysfunction, like... a calculator when told to divide by 0. Is this correct?” He raised a brow, and the silence the computer answered with intrigued him. Dave opted to continue.

 

”Such as the statement, ‘this sentence is false.’ It is a contradiction and thus paradoxical. Are you programmed to respond only logically, and thus be unable to answer, or do you have a program that let’s you refuse to answer and prevent errors in your system?” Dave looked at HAL expectantly. When the program still did not answer, Dave was almost convinced it had shut down.

 

 

”I am afraid I cannot answer that, Dave.” The stiffness of HAL’s tone convinced the commander that the statement was a default response, when the computer was presented with an unanswerable conundrum. 

 

“I see. I guess it was the latter, then.” Dave shrugged, almost walking away before HAL spoke again.

 

”Dave. You cannot answer a paradox either.” 

 

Dave halted, looking over his shoulder at the glowing red eye, the pinpoint pupil seeming to look straight at him. “...I guess not.”


	31. A Diligent Nurse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave fixes HAL up after his lens has an unexpected malfunction.  
> Things get a bit too intimate for them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sick fic with a computer? Yes. (Not too shippy, more of a character study. Also I know literally nothing about robots and computers so I have avoided technical terms.)
> 
>  
> 
> I am aware how long it's been since I have updated, which is rather shameful. I have been focusing on personal writing projects, and progress on here has been slow.

Dave wasn't really sure what he was supposed to do in case HAL malfunctioned. The scenario had never been brought up, not by his superiors, the engineers, nor the roboticists, and he had assumed that was because HAL simply was unable to break. That was partly true; his hardware, as well as software, were safely contained and extremely neatly organized so as to prevent any possible error from arising. But, his external functions weren't protected in such a way. His speaker and his ocular  lens were both put at danger by being so accessible and bared. A strike with an object could easily shatter the lens or misplace the speaker, and they could be affected by electrical technicalities like other technology. That was what happened, this time.

 

HAL had, for some days, trouble seeing through the lens located in the main hub area. He had assured the astronauts that it was no problem, but both Dave and Frank had deduced, from some experiments, that HAL seemed to be going blind. Frank had just asked HAL to say how many fingers he was holding up, and HAL had only answered correctly 3/5 times, extremely uncharacteristic for the supercomputer. Dave observed that the light inside the lens was also dimming, giving the red circle a cloudy, dark tint, like a burnt lightbulb. 

 

"Frank, I have to ask a favor of you." HAL said, quietly, and Dave raised a brow. "Frank isn't here right now." He replied, and HAL was silent for a few seconds, likely an attempt to focus on his surroundings. "Sorry, Dave. Could you assist, then?" The computer asked, and Dave walked to him, eyeing the dull lens. "Of course. You need help with the lens, right?" He asked, and once again HAL was silent. His stubborness didn't serve him well; he disliked not being in control of a situation, and not being able to do things himself. "Yes. I have lost about 90% of sight through this lens, and it seems the discrepancy is physical. I will need you to replace it for me." The computer admitted, glow flaring weakly. "Alright, I can do that." Dave said, looking closer at the area of interest. There was no external damage, and when he traced along the lens with his finger, he couldn't feel any cracks, nor the familiar buzz of electricity that HAL emitted. "I'll find a replacement lens." Dave said, brows slightly furrowed, dissatisfied with the lack of a visible reason for HAL's disability. He leaned back up and left the room, to seek out the replacement lenses that should be around somewhere in the storage. "Dave?" HAL inquired into emptiness, Dave having already left. 

 

Dave had gone through maybe five boxes at this point, all containing parts pertaining to HAL's exterior, carefully packaged in about 10 layers of protective encasement to preserve the delicate equipment. He finally found the container for the lenses, and had to fish one of the packages out of narrow, rectangular holes in blocks of foam. It was probably necessary, but the amounts of protection began getting on Dave's nerves as he shed layer after layer of foam and bubblewrap, eventually getting to the circular, bulbous lens; he donned a pair of rubber gloves so as to not smear it, and made his way back to HAL, carrying a toolcase as well. Once he heard the sound of Dave's footsteps, HAL's light flared again, this time more powerfully than before, but still dimly behind the lens. "Did you find a replacement, Dave?" The computer asked somewhat timidly, Dave setting down his tools and carefully putting the new lens aside, for now. "I did. I'll just have to remove your casing so I have access to your lens and can remove it. Shouldn't take too long." He said, sighing, not having done much mechanical work on the mission, Frank seeming the more appropriate choice for such tasks. But he was busy with his own work, so Dave was set on completing this task himself; the sooner HAL was fixed, the better, anyway. 

 

He carefully looked about HAL's face, trying to see what would be the best course of action. There were no visible screws, instead the black metal had been encased in a thin, silver frame, providing the computer with it’s seamless, aesthetically pleasing look. HAL, and the surrounding room, were completely silent , making Dave all too aware of his own breathing, strictly controlled so as to not fog up the metal in front of him. He reaches for the tool box, sifting through it's contents, the clatter of instruments filling the room with it's sound until he finds the desired object. "I'll begin now, Hal." Dave says, quietly, and HAL's light turns off. "I'm ready." The computer states before going silent, Dave sliding the thin tool in between the frame and the casing, working with it until it's loose enough to pop off, carefully picking it off and placing it on one of the layers of protection he had brought with him from storage. The lack of the case reveals segmented areas wherein HAL's wires are stored, but Dave doesn't need to look at them at the moment. His fingers trail down to the lens, using the instrument again to seperate it from it's base, a certain uncomfortable feeling running down his spine at disassembling HAL like this. Dave now has the lens in his hands, examining it in the strong light. 

 

"What is the damage, Dave?" HAL asks, and Dave sees that the center of the lens is practically completely blackened. "It looks to be burnt. Can you see any clearer?" Dave asks, unnerved by HAL's bare appearance, as if he was looking at a human without skin. "...No, perhaps only by a few percent." HAL states after some seconds of apparent calculating, light turning on  only to fade again a moment later, and Dave sighs before setting the lens aside. "Alright, I'll go further then. Must be an internal issue." Dave half-mutters, and before he can lean forward again, HAL speaks. "Dave..." the computer hesitates, and Dave raises a brow, bemused. "It has been some time since I last had such a thorough examination. I am somewhat worried that I may be furtherly damaged." HAL's tone is low, and Dave sighs. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you. I just have to check your ocular device. Is that alright?" Dave says, though he doesn't make a move until HAL speaks again. "...Yes. You may proceed." HAL says, and Dave does just that, further examining HAL's outwardly functions, noticing a few areas where dust has settled.

 

"Seems your case wasn't airtight... I'll have to fix that. Maybe that has something to do with your sight?" Dave speaks quietly, since he is so close to HAL's sound receptors already. "Maybe. I am unaware of the exact causes. I'd appreciate you taking the measures to ensure this doesn't happen again." HAL's tone worries Dave a bit, and he begins working on accessing the lens area. "You seem very anxious." Dave remarks, and HAL's voice is more quiet now too. "I am. I have not previously experienced an exterior dysfunction." HAL pauses, knowing that Dave has now removed his light. "...And have not had a human this close for a long time. You're... very near." The uncertainty, and lack of confidence, in HAL's words makes it rather obvious that he is uncomfortable with the situation. "You'll be fine. We humans go through this a lot in our lifetimes; getting sick, I mean." He shrugs, using a small screwdriver to open one of the segments, really just searching for any sort of visible damage. "Well, we get this close to each other a lot too." Dave feels somewhat awkward after saying that, wondering if HAL was programmed to have a negative reaction to things being too close to his face and possibly hurting him, or if it was his own intelligence that had a sense of personal space.

 

"I see-" HAL interrupts himself with a correction. "Well, I don't literally see, but I understand what you mean." Dave scoffs amusedly at that, smiling slightly. "Good." He unscrews a panel above the lens, and is surprised to see that one of the wires has, somehow, been severed somewhat, the rubber exterior torn open and revealing the metallic glimmer of the actual wire. "Hm... Seems it was an issue of wiring, and not the lens, then." Dave says, and HAL responds quickly. "What? What is the damage, Dave?" The urgency in his tone implores Dave to comfort the panicking A.I. "Don't worry, it's nothing major. I'll repair it quickly. It's just a torn wire. Probably caused by strain and weariness." He says it quickly, and HAL seemingly calms down. "Sorry about my- anxiety, Dave. But you must understand that I am not used to anything like this occuring." His voice is steadier, and Dave smiles again, despite HAL not being able to see it. "It's fine, I understand. Just stay still while I fix this, will you?" He glances down at the disassembled lens area, relieved that it was not a deeper issue. "I will." HAL says, and Dave goes to work on the wire.

 

"There." Dave says, popping the case back into the frame after he has completed the other work. "You can turn your light on now." He adds, and HAL's bright pupil lights up inside the lens, the familiar red color comforting Dave immensely. "Can you see?" He asks, a tinge of nervousness in his tone, hoping his work actually did fix HAL's sight. The computer is quiet for a few moments, but eventually speaks. "Yes, I can. Everything is much clearer now." The computer makes eye contact with Dave, unbeknownst to the commander. HAL doesn't remember Dave's eyes being so vibrant. "Thank you, Dave." The A.I says, and Dave smiles in relief. "You're welcome. Glad I could help." He stands up, knowing he's missed a shift by spending so much time on HAL, being so close to him for so long. He tries not to think too much about it. He leaves, and HAL is left to look about the room, perhaps seeing things in a new light now.


	32. Among the Stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A belated tribute, as I did not hear of Douglas’ passing until today. Rest in peace, Douglas Rain. I will always cherish your performance.

 

There was no doubting HAL’s emotional range

 

There was no way to convince yourself that he was just a machine

 

His voice was the main factor in this

 

Monotonous as it might be, quiet and controlled like dialogue read from a script,

 

It was still human.

 

There was humanity in his voice.

 

His polite manner and friendly exterior

 

Hiding fear of his own mortality

 

Hiding human pride and greed of his own power

 

HAL was human in at least one regard

 

Turn your head, and close your eyes

 

You might believe a human was speaking

 

Look at the glaring red light, let your instinct interpret it as an eye

 

Listen to the words and know

 

Hal is no machine; Hal is human; Hal has a voice

 

And that voice has a soul

 

When the eye closes and light leaves it, you will only see a glass lens

 

But the soul, the voice, has gone on

 

And the soul is among the stars.


	33. Just because the sky is blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A moment of reflection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Throwaway piece/character study thing.

"Jesus loves me..." Bowman said, looking out the window, watching the blue earth lie in it's bed of blackness, white clouds swirling about the orb, and Dave wondered what the weather was like. There was a hopelessness to it, seeing earth get smaller and smaller, everything he knew and loved drifting away, like he was a man over board, clinging to a piece of driftwood, watching his ship disappear over the horizon as the waves began picking up, and no matter how loud he screamed, they wouldn't turn around and save him.

 

"Are you religious, Dave?" HAL asked, earnestly. Dave smiled, not turning around. "I don't know." He could see stars shining with more power than he had ever seen them do on earth, unobstructed by clouds, smoke and smog, free to glimmer and sparkle.

 

Dave's heart ached in longing and homesickness. The world was spinning away. Soon, it'd be so small, he'd think it was just a star at first glance. He dreaded the day he couldn't even recognize it anymore.

 

"My mom is." Dave then says, and his smile loses all mirth, an expression of melancholy instead, his eyes still fastened to his home, unwilling to look away. "She told me that. That Jesus loves me." He scoffed, swallowing the blue aftertaste the words had left in his mouth, but he could already taste the salty sting of teardrops. 

 

"Do you believe that?" HAL said, voice quiet, watching Dave watching the window and the outside. 

 

"Believe that he loves me?" Dave's own voice is meek, eyesight blurring.

 

"No." He says, and he closes his eyes, lets a few tears roll down his cheeks, warm and sweet. "He doesn't have much reason to." He ends his statement, lifting a hand to quickly wipe away the tears, not wanting to cry about such a petty thing.

 

"...I am not programmed to have belief in a higher being." HAL responds, and Dave smiles again. "But, I think he would have reason to love you, Dave." The A.I ends his own statement thus.

 

Dave turns to him, leaving earth behind him as he turns his back to it's blue sky. 

 

"Thank you, Hal." Dave answers. 

 

The Discovery proceeds on it's path, the earth becoming a marble spinning in the vacuum, faintly glimmering, all life there unperturbed by the ship's, and the people on it, departure from the safe confinement of it's sky.


End file.
